Breaking Wind

Craig Moss, you need to stop your constant attempts at film making. You are not funny, you are not creative, you are not intelligent. What year do we think we live in?! There was a time where farting was funny but it has been used over and over and OVER again that it's just annoying.

Now I hate Twilight as much as the next guy, but what does this have to do with Twilight. Your method is taking ANYTHING and just adding poop and cum jokes. What's next? Game of Farts? Iron Poop 4? I'm sure you would make it because any eight year old thinks poo is funny. Grow up, man

I will tell you this, if I see you in person, I will punch you in the face. i won't say anything, I will just punch you in the face and walk away.

I won't go into any details. The movie is called Breaking Wind for a reason. I could have made a better spoof of Twilight with a smart phone. This is the first review I have ever written because I felt compelled to warn people that they may in fact have a stroke during this pile of trash. The spoofs of old, like Airplane and The Naked Gun have given way to the worst of the worst, and this movie is so bad I do not even have a word for it. I assume this movie is like going through drug withdrawals because I was in the floor in brutal pain and agony. I made it to the end without croaking, but it was close. If you plan on watching this, then have an oxygen tank ready along with speed dial to 911 in case of impending death.

OK, so I just made an account to do you a favor & let you know, that this movie, absolutely, SUCKS BIGTIME! It is actually worse than any part of twilight, it is not funny, it is not sexy, it is just lame & disgusting.

To begin with, it isn't just a parody of Breaking Dawn, it is a parody of various chosen scenes of Twilight 1-4. And the irony is that it covers the least content from Breaking Dawn. But that doesn't really matter, because nothing could save this crap of a movie. Most of it's "funny" scenes are about farting or large penis/vagina jokes. Clothed sex scenes. And lame cameraman-knock-on-the-actors-face scenes. There was just one or two funny scenes that made me laugh, but they weren't worth the rest of the crap.

Don't waste your time with this, watch literally anything else.

Breaking Wind...(sigh) Knowing that this movie is supposedly a spoof of the Twilight Saga, I thought that this COULD have been a decent comedy, like Vampires Suck. Now don't get me wrong, Vampires Suck was a horrible movie, but if you just have fun with it, Vampires Suck will have a few chuckles with you.

But Breaking Wind is just bland and unfunny. I kept saying to myself, "Don't be serious, it's a comedy", but not even Danny Trejo saved this piece of crap.

If you think that I'm being to harsh for a spoof movie, think again. There are literally fart jokes every 5 goddamn minutes. Who the hell in their right mind would think fart jokes are funny? The writers must have been retarded.

But their is a silver lining though. And that's Jacob, or more specifically, Fat Jacob. I don't know why but I just found him funny. It must be because he's fat. Hmmm.

Overall, a very crappy movie. Why the producers would think to finance this movie is beyond me. Didn't they even bother to read the script? And why the hell are the Johnny Depp characters in this? Ran out of ideas, probably.

I write this review as a fan of bad movies in general. I've tried to watch my way through lists of the worst movies ever and thus came upon this film. So please take that into consideration when I say that this movie belongs near the top of my "Most Hated" list. It's worse than the Friedberg/Seltzer parodies and far less creative than anything the Wayans brothers have done. It is truly one of the most demented cultural products I have ever witnessed.

That all of the jokes consist in flatulence, excrement. The viewer is subjected to a 71 minute barrage of content that ranges from the lazy to the outright revolting, such that I am baffled that anyone involved in the production of this movie ever thought anyone might enjoy it. Scene after scene is revealed to be nothing more than the set-up for someone having diarrhea or snot in their nose.

To top it off, the movie concludes by mocking various online videos of Twilight fans gushing about how much they loved Eclipse. At this point, the full enormity of Breaking Wind is clear. No one connected with the making of this movie has any right to criticize Twilight fans for anything. Yes, their fandom is excessive and embarrassing, but I'll take that any day over this movie that revels in its own vulgarity and offensiveness and a filmmaker that takes a cynical delight in assaulting the sensibilities of his audience.

Finally, it's worth noting that if you haven't seen the Twilight films, a decent number of the "jokes" in this movie will be incomprehensible to you. It relies heavily on its audience having watched multiple movies of the Twilight saga, making it unclear exactly who it is trying to reach.

It's not funny, not competent, not creative, and not worth anyone's time watching.