Spiders 3D

Back in the day giant monster movies were all the rage thanks to King Kong and Godzilla. Now they seem to only pop up from time to and usually in low budget films that don't offer all that much. The latest Spiders, is the latest creature feature to crawling onto DVD and VOD, but will it be enough to make your skin crawl or be just another generic SyFy channel style cheese fest.

Spiders follow a city under siege from a new species of poisonous spiders as they mutate into gigantic proportions after crashing to Earth on a destroyed Soviet space station. If the plot sounds ridiculous, it is, but that is usually the case in these sorts of films. If you can't separate yourself for the silly nature of things to come then you shouldn't be investing your time into this film. That being sad, Spiders is a lot of fun. Believe it or not, it doesn't come off like a cheesy SyFy channel as you would expect. It shows that this film either had a decent budget or was just used wisely to make it work as opposed to just slapping something together. The story is pretty straightforward and works for what they are trying to accomplish. It's very reminiscent of the film THEM where as the military are forced to take on giant ants, but here with spiders. It starts off a bit slow initially, but quickly kicks into gear to let unleash the spiders on the city with each getting bigger than the next. Wisely they seemed to have spent a good amount of the films budget on the Spiders themselves which makes this film work even better. The spiders look pretty cool, with only a couple times that they feel CGI. There are some great classic giant monster shots, including an ariel shot of the giant spider running through the city complete with tanks and spotlights that is really cool.

Make no mistake this is a silly monster movie and doesn't try to be anything else. It works because they take it serious in an attempt to create a fun monster movie and succeeded. There are not major stars here and the acting is average, but if you love monster films, then give Spiders a shot when it hits DVD and VOD in March.

When a meteor shower hits an old Soviet space station in the orbit of Earth, parts and debris crash into the New York subway tunnel near the Noble Street Station. The traffic controller Jason (Patrick Muldoon) sends his colleague Jimmy (Atanas Srebrev) to inspect the damage but soon he is found dead. The doctor finds a bite on his leg and eggs inside his body, and Jason takes one of them to ask his wife Rachel (Christa Campbell) to test in the laboratory where she works. When he goes with the subway security team to the location where Jimmy was found, they discover a nest of strong and carnivorous spiders. Meanwhile Col. Jenkins (William Hope) and the Russian scientist Dr. Darnoff (Pete Lee-Wilson) discuss the special breed of spiders genetically developed in the space with zero gravity that would build a powerful nest that would be used in military purpose. Further, they need the queen's egg that Jason gave to his wife. Then and he lies to the population telling that there is a deadly virus in the neighborhood where Jimmy was found and they hunt Jason and his family. When they recover the egg, Col. Jenkins put it in the nest to raise the queen and decides to execute everyone that is aware of the spiders. Will he succeed in his plan?

"Spiders" is a film with a lame and stupid story from the beginning. How can the colonel lie and execute people in a democratic country the way he did? By the way, why execute people? Just to keep the spiders in secret? In a situation like that, why keep powered trails in the subway. The spider queen can resist to machine gun, bazooka, but a traffic operator is capable to contain the giant insect with a steel bar. The corny conclusion with husband and wife forgetting the divorce is also awful. The cinematography and the effects are reasonable but the acting is terrible. My vote is three.

Title (Brazil): "Aranhas" ("Spiders")

Okay, if you like trash, this might be the movie for you. The 3D is AWFULLY converted and makes your eyes bleed without any visible depth... The acting is horrible. Christa Campbell cannot move her face because of all the botox, and Patrick Muldoon has seen better days and there is a sense of desperation radiating from him during the whole movie. And no, it does not have to do with his role. The story is on SyFy Channel level, the FX are slightly better than usual in a production like this one... If you have to see every monster movie on the market, than give it a try, but you have been warned. Don't expect "Eight Legged Freaks" from outer space as the movie takes itself so seriously, that there is not the slightest sense of humor in this production. At least not wanted one. The second star is only for the decent special effects... What a waste of money...

Problems With Spiders:

-Not enough spiders. -The spiders don't kill enough stupid actors. -Christa Campbell's botoxed and sadly altered faced makes her look like Michael Jackson near the end. -Not enough spiders. -When every actor flubbed a line (and they all did at some point, some more than others) it seemed like the director just waved them on to continue. -Seeing the same forty or so extras in nearly every crowd scene (watch for the red hoodie). -Not enough goddammed spiders!

I could go on, but it's hot in my apartment right now. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

I liked this movie. Not a lot of new ground here. There have been almost as many spider movies as shark movies. The spin here is that the spiders are a hybrid with some kind of alien. Even though some of the acting is poor and the story is thin what makes this movie stand out are the monster effects. The Queen Spider is especially well done and menacing. I was really surprised by how good she came out. There are a few points when the CGI freezes, but that wasn't too long.

This is a pleasant surprise.