Greystone Park

This will sound harsh but "Greystone Park" (or "The Asylum Tapes" if you're outside the US) is comfortably among the worst movies I have ever seen.

No real plot, no thrills, no frights, no nothing.

Bad acting (I mean really, really bad), bad sound, bad camera work and even worse editing. I fully appreciate that the film is supposed to be a "found tapes" film - but that is no excuse to produce a 90+ minute film of which most of it you can't actually see what's going on. Adding loud bangs to the footage you can't see doesn't scare anybody above the age of four - not in the year 2012 anyway.

Sean Stone's father Oliver is a talented movie maker and one of the more important directors of the 20th century. This piece of garbage might be Stone Jr's first, last and only contribution to the annals of cinematic history.

I'd call this "movie" crap, but its closer to the twice baked crap you get from crap eating flies. The "movie" starts out slow and gets even slower.The dialogue in this film goes nowhere and explains nothing and jumps from stupid to lame.If you want to get a headache and or have those wonderful seizures Hollywood insists on inflicting upon moviegoers nowadays, watch this film. If you like it when the film is a first person shooter viewpoint, in a darkened asylum, interspersed with a faulty camera, then this movie is for you. There is no real ending to this film. We are left clueless as to the fate of many of the characters. OK wait, maybe the ending of Mr Stone smiling at the camera, with a look that says, "You viewers thought this was going to be good didn't you? Suckers! Cha-ching" In conclusion, I've heard it said that if you have ghosts in your home, then play this on a continuous loop, because ghosties wont even hang in a room with this film playing, it's insulting to any self respecting ghost.

I am a huge fan of 'found footage' horror films, not because there are many good ones about but because I love that style of horror, I think it is truly terrifying when done right. I think anyone who watches such films should take them for what they are and not compare them to bigger budget horror films, or other films generally.

Greystone Park (GP) is nowhere near the best found footage film I've seen, but is not the worst either. It is a poor film but I think some of the reviews are a bit too harsh. The acting in these films is never going to be great, but in GP it is fine for the purposes. It is set in a genuinely scary ex-asylum and there are some great freaky moments, such as the discovery of a creepy giant doll and one of the characters inexplicably laughing at strange times. The film sets up a really great, scary atmosphere but falls flat on its face when we get very poor, confused dialogue between the characters, too much shouting and swearing, and way too much of the shaky-camera business. The ending is also very confusing.

I would say that found-footage fans should give it a watch, they may just like it, but for anyone who is not a big fan of the genre I would give it a big miss and spend your precious film-watching time on the better films like The Poughkeepsie Tapes, Evil Things and the first 3 Paranormal Activities.

I'm thinking about changing my user name to "Bad movie watcher" because of my incredible and uncanny ability to watch bad movies through to completion. There have been the occasional stinkers that I couldn't bear and turned off midway, but by and large I gut it out.

This bad movie is a found footage film taking place in an abandoned mental hospital. To use a baseball term, the movie starts off in the hole with an 0-2 count.

Although found footage films have significantly improved over the years, this one is of the type I can't stand. This is the single camera, POV, amateur video. So, what do you get with that? Quick scans, out of focus, and shaky. Then, whoever edited it made it more unwatchable with constant cuts from shot to shot. It's enough to give you a headache. There were plenty of times when I didn't know who was holding the camera because different people would be in the shot when they weren't before. And tell me, how does a found footage video have a musical overlay for intensity? Granted it was subtle and brief but it still detracts from the overall principle.

The movie took too long to get going and offered very little in the scare department. Ultimately, you had three ghost seeking youngsters that found just that and paid the price. It was all rather cliché. At one point, at the beginning of the movie, someone even said: "This is how all horror movies start," when commenting on a ominous shot of some old homes--almost as if the movie was making fun of itself. Really poor taste.

There's nothing cutting edge, nothing original, nothing redeemable about this movie. I'll stay away from the overused: "That's (x amount of my time) of my life I can't get back," because I made the choice to watch it. But what baffles me is: what is cool as a stunt isn't always cool as a movie. Why did they think this could make a good film? "Greystone Park" could've done a lot better as a 15 minute YouTube clip.

Greystone Park has to be one of the least engaging films I've ever seen. Immediatly from the outset I was drawn to it as much as I am fire, acid or something really really pointy.

It's yet another found footage-esque film where a group of folks interested in documenting supernatural activity break into an asylum and.......serious dejavu.

This cost over half a million dollars to make and I'd love someone to explain to me where the money went. Was everyone overpaid? Did they have fantastic catering? Were all the cast put up in 5* hotels with travel covered and a personal masseuse? Maybe champagne and caviar for everyone in between takes? Because it sure as hell didn't go on the production.

I've seen some real stinkers in this genre, and let's be honest most of them are the same movie recycled over and over again. But this is right up there! Again it's un-engaging, it's boring, it's stupidly dark, it has pathetic character development and as is commonly the case nothing ruddy happens!

Pitiful, embarassing and yet another carbon copy movie just done worse than even usual.

The Good:

Nope

The Bad:

Seen it all before, all of it

Annoyingly dark

Poorly made from start to finish

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Maybe the budget was spent on silk toilet roll?