Mega Piranha

Everyone loves a bad monster movie, right? There is a great charm in the so-bad-it-is-good film, and for a while Mega Piranha delivers the goods. Alas, but then the unremitting awfulness wears you down due to endless repetition of scenes and CGI that is so bad that it can't be unintended (I hope). Add the unlikely return of a really rubbish villain (flying a helicopter that seems to be able to circumnavigate the whole world), and a truly bizarre finale that suggests that everyone just got bored and pulled the plug, and you just have ultimate tedium (well, for me, at least). Still, it is not everyday that you get to see Tiffany playing a hydro-biologist, and I'm hoping to see Britney Spears as a Navy Seal in 'Mega Shrimp' and Ke$ha as the US President in 'Monster Manatee' vs. Giant Gecko' some time soon.

This is one of the worst movies I have seen on SyFy. Their ability to make good movies decrease with every new "original movie" they make. While the location shots were great the film itself was one of the worst I have ever seen. Paul Logan was the only good actor in the movie. It was hard to see Barry Williams diminish his star quality by doing such a low quality picture. Tiffany proves she has no acting skills at all. She could not deliver lines while doing anything else. One scene she was running from danger, had to stop, deliver lines and wait for someone to give her a cue to run again. The extras were just as bad! Doesn't look like they were given any direction in what to do. One scene they go to arrest the hero and he's not there. They just stood there and looked around, no movement just stood in look. I would only recommend this film to film students wanting to know what to do to make a quality film.

Well, folks...Syfy has done it again. Another sub-B movie churned out in the same tier as Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. I normally get a laugh out of this sort of flick; the purple prose script with cheesy delivery, the absurd plots with more holes than a screen door and the shockingly bad cg are all fodder for mocking and jeering with friends. Still, these movies can only achieve the rank of risibly bad classics if the writers, actors and directors are completely oblivious to just how terrible a film they've unleashed upon the world. Syfy originals seem to exist for the sake of being entertainingly awful, and it is that bent-on-wrecking-this-train mentality that makes this and many other movies lame.

The movie follows the same formula that plagues the made for TV nature-horror scene. Follow these steps and you too can be a Scifi writer! Take some normal animals that aren't much of a threat and make them huge/super strong/intelligent (pick any super-animal attribute. It really doesn't matter). Science creates then tries to control the bastard chimeras, but of course scientists are nerds, so they should fail. This is usually because the military/some evil corporation ruins everything with snafu after snafu. This step is important because it serves as a diatribe to meddling scientists, overconfident military leaders and corporate America. Your script now has depth and you can tote your worth as a writer that cares about the issues. Insert the big, bad protagonist. He should be able to punch and kick his way through hordes of monsters that have ripped through countless crewman number 6s and still look damn good doing it. You can also add a strong independent and flawlessly attractive girl to the script. The more independent you make her, the more substance the script has. It is important to acknowledge that women are every bit as amazing your beefcake hero and your creation will be so revolutionary that even a feminist won't scoff at it(you'll also have a slightly better chance of scoring with the lead lady). You now have the tools to start your own script. I don't want to flood the market with great writers, so you'll have to figure out the end for yourself. Use a lot of fake blood, clean up obvious plot holes with single lines like, "Yeah, well things change," and insert as many bikini-clad women as your budget will allow and I'm sure everything will be fine.

This movie works on many of the same levels, and it is sure to be one of the most critically acclaimed thrillers of this or any year. Just remember: regardless of whether a piranha is doubling in size every 2 days or 36 hours, it is growing exponentially.

Where do i start, this movie is not in the same class as Piranha which is a cult classic. Mega piranha is such an amateurish production and direction, each seen lasts a few seconds with a bang here a flash there just like the rubbish George Lucas dished up more recently. Everything is kinda explained to camera as if the viewer doesn't understand the plot. Our hero Fitch can't speak the local lingo so shouts at the locals and they fully understand and speak back in spanish to him. This movie could be a drinking game as such.

1. Camera Flash = Take a shot 2. Caption = Take a Shot 3. Un-nessacary Caption = Take a shot.

4. Stock footage = Take a shot 5. Actors waiting for their que's to say their lines

You will be blind drunk in under 15 minutes.

Alright, this movie is bad. B, A, D! Bad! I had an expectation that it would not be a super great movie, being a SyFy movie and all, but wow! This was beyond anything I had imagined or could imagine.

First of all, they kept showing the same scenes over and over and over and over and over... And those scenes were not even nice to look at. Already here the movie was starting to go downhill.

The effects in the movie were laughable at best. There weren't a single moment in the movie that were above mediocre.

As for the acting, well it was strained and hard to digest. But at least they gave it a shot! This movie is good for one thing only, and that is cheap laughs. I am going to make my friends watch it, because it cannot be put into words how bad this movie really is.

"Mega Piranha" is a movie that should be avoided if you are a movie-lover. Or if you are going to watch it, do it solely for the super cheesy effects and the lack of everything else!