The Loch Ness Horror

Absolute tripe, complete rubbish. One of the worst films I've ever had the displeasure of watching. I hated the plot, the acting, the characters, the special effects, the poorly lit environments and sets and absolutely dreadful cinematography.

The bulk of the film, basically nothing happens. When the Loch Ness Monster does appear it is poorly designed and basically just shakes the ship/submarine with minimal horror or fun action, I can't stress enough how awful this film is and should never have ever been made.

1/10: Cheesy, uninteresting, silly, cheap and an insult to quality low budget filmmakers everywhere.

What to say, this one is really bad.

The pacing is very slow and not by artistic design to build tension. The monster is pretty good. The logic of those on board is pathetic.

I think they bumped off the characters quickly to lighten the budget.

The monster is supposedly the Loch Ness monster. Loch being Scott's for lake, yet the story does not happen in the lake.

It is odd that the dialogue is not recorded well, so many conversations are hard to get the meaning.

Note to self, just because the advertising graphic looks slick and intriguing does not mean the movie is any good.

Plenty of other suspenseful movies go rewatch a good one, way better use if time that watching this one.

I had the misfortune of accidentally finding this when searching for "The Loch Ness Horror" directed in 1982 by the late Larry Buchanan. I gave the 2023 film a watch for free on YouTube videos, and discovered it was no better. In fact, somehow, it was worse.

The story revolves around a rescue team being sent by a British company to locate a missing submarine in the Atlantic Ocean as opposed to Loch Ness itself, only to discover the Loch Ness monster is responsible and part of the crew is made up of thugs who take the others hostage in a soupy sub-plot.

Everything in this movie is bad. The story is sloppy and boring with a few rip-offs thrown in for good measure, like the underwater cage scene from "Jaws" and a chesbursting creature from "Alien". It might have been a little better without the hostage situation sub-plot and just focusing on the monster.

All of the characters are boring, unsympathetic, or just inept at their jobs. Most of them serve as little more than dinner for Nessie. One woman spent half her screen-time freaking out and hyperventilating. Another one tried to use paper towels to treat a man burnt by Nessies acidic saliva. And there was an annoying ship alarm blaring through half the movie! Dear God, I heard it in my sleep after watching this.

The Loch Ness monster hardly even appears onscreen. And even when it does, it's size inexplicably changes between shots and the CGI effects for it as a crummy and low-quality as you'd expect from any budget monster movie. The little skin parasites were just as poorly designed and animated.

The sets were an inconsistent mess of multiple ship interiors that obviously don't match up, including museum ships any tourist would recognize. It would have worked better to take a smaller boat out onto the actual Loch Ness, or at least a stand-in lake.

In the end, this was just another lame, God-awful budget monster movie with no redeeming qualities at all. At least the 1982 movie had a cheesy, "so bad, it's good" kind of charm to it, this was just so bad, it's boring and nigh-unwatchable. So don't waste your time on this trash.

I happened to stumble upon the 2023 movie "The Loch Ness Horror" by random luck here in 2023. And with it being a movie that I hadn't already seen, much less even heard about, of course I opted to sit down and watch it. I mean, this was a movie about the Loch Ness creature, after all.

Needless to say that I didn't venture into this with a whole lot of high expectations or grand hopes from writer and director Tyler-James. But still, I opted to watch the movie with an open mind and give the writer and director the benefit of the doubt.

The storyline in "The Loch Ness Horror" was pretty generic for a movie such as this. If you have watched any other type of movie with an aquatic monstrous creature of any sort, then you know what you are in for when you sit down to watch this movie. So writer Tyler-James didn't deliver anything particularly impressive with the script and storyline here.

I found out that there is actually a movie from 1982 also titled "The Loch Ness Horror". But as I haven't seen that one, I have no idea whether or not this 2023 movie from writer and director Tyler-James is a remake of that older movie or not.

The acting performances in "The Loch Ness Horror" were fair enough. It was an all unfamiliar cast ensemble to me, and that is something I actually enjoy when I sit down to watch a movie. However, there weren't any impressive or outstanding performances to write home about, though.

The CGI effects in the movie were fair enough. It wasn't top of the line impressive CGI effects, but for a movie such as "The Loch Ness Horror" turned out to be, then I will say that the effects were actually adequate enough.

Watchable for what it was, the 2023 movie "The Loch Ness Horror" wasn't exactly impressive or outstanding. It is not a movie that warrants more than just a single viewing. Nor is it a movie that I would recommend creature feature fans to rush out and get to watch.

My rating of "The Loch Ness Horror", from writer and director Tyler-James, lands on a generous four out of ten stars.

The movie doesn't take place in or around Loch Ness. It takes place in the North Atlantic somewhere. There is a distinct lack of terror or anything at all happening for much of the movie. The monster shows up now and then to eat someone. The acting is really quite bad even for a low budget horror movie. Almost the entire movie takes place on what I think is a cargo ship of some sort. It looks like a very old ship that was turned into a museum. They make sure you never see the side of the ship so it's probably at dock somewhere. There's also a very cheap submarine set. Asylum-grade monster movies love a cheap submarine set. I guess the CGI for the monster isn't terrible for the little screen time it gets. The movie also come with a small side of Alien for some reason.

This is just not very good. I have seen worse but this is just very mediocre and kind of boring for most of it.