The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure

Awful, pointless, unlikable, and unfunny. One: the costumes are just awful. They're disturbing and they can give you nightmares. Especially the 3 creatures (The Oogieloves AKA Goobie, Zoozie and Toofie). Two: The actors. CHRISTOPHER LLOYD, CARY ELVES, CLORIS LEACHMAN....These famous actors play unlikable characters. Congratulations, the career of these actors have a new low. =_= Three: The. Horrible. PLOT! They expanded finding 5 balloons in 83 minutes? It's repetitive! With lots of SLOW POINTS. Also, there are horrible puns and jokes. Like when Toofie's pants fall down...IT'S NOT FUNNY. Four: The songs are absolutely horrible. They will make you want to rip your ears off. The worst song is the awful theme song. I can't believe this piece of trash has many positive reviews. Five: The fact that this movie got theatrical release when everything screamed "Direct to DVD". I'm not forcing anyone to avoid this, but who doesn't like very annoying kid's movies shouldn't watch this.

The Oogieloves In The Big Ballon Adventure is not only one of the worst movies i've ever seen, it's the worst children's movie i've ever seen! It's everything that's wrong with children's shows wrapped up into one movie. Having left the theater, i'm still incredibly shocked that a film this terrible got a theatrical release. First off, this is some of the laziest writing i've ever heard for a kids film. Just look at the characters names! Goobie, Zoozie, and Toofie! And if you think that's bad enough, just wait until you hear some of the supporting cast characters names. Rosalie Rosebud, Marvin Milkshake, and the worst of all is Carey Elwes character's name Bobby Wobbly. The saddest of all is Christopher Lloyds role which is just embarrassing. You can tell for the most part though that none of the supporting cast wanted to be there because they aren't even trying at all. The plot of the film is as simple as it gets. The Oogieloves have the collect the 5 magical balloons they've lost and get them back in time for this big party they are about to have. You can pretty much figure out the whole movie from just that one sentence. What ensues is some of the worst jokes i've ever heard in a film and a bunch of lame dance/musical numbers. Now the Oogieloves is being marketed as a "revolutionary interactive movie-going experience". However, there is nothing revolutionary or original about it. If you've seen Dora The Exploreor or anything show similar of that, then you've seen everything that Oogieloves has to offer. There is nothing new here to see, except the material being taken to a new low. The writing is some of the worst i've ever heard for a kids film with all of the jokes involving some sort of gross out gag or flatulence jokes. The musical numbers are also very bland and the songs are not catchy at all. However, I can't really say the film bored me because it just kept irritating me and making me more and more angry by how awful it was. The fact that this is what people are accepting for children's entertainment is shocking and is exactly why all kids entertainment these days sucks! Oh, and don't buy into the "Academy Award Nominated Director" crap either, Matthew Diamond was nominated for Best Documentary for a film that nobody saw. I really can't think of anything else to say about this film besides how awful it is. Please Parents, do not take your kids to see this film!

Really, people?

I mean, I saw the movie. I saw it just to see how bad it was. Oh, I was not disappointed. And it seemed like at the time everyone else agreed on how bad it was, considering it had a 1.7 rating here on IMDb. About three quarters of a year later, here we are with 4.9? How did this happen?

So people just decide to up and suddenly praise this movie? Yep, seems likely. I did a little research on a lot of these "reviewers", due to outrage and a bit of summer boredom, I'll admit that right there. Here are my findings: Many of them were not only posted within a span of four days or so, but most of them have "The Oogieloves" as their only review ever made. Also, those accounts were made exactly one month and three weeks ago from today. What are the odds? Not to mention their usernames follow the format FirstnameLastnameNumber. Is it possible for everyone to just up and decide that? Poorly executed cover. Maybe this is true, and maybe it isn't, but to me it looks as if Kenn Viselman, the "marketing visionary", is getting desperate and is asking people to give his "film" good publicity. How else do you explain this sudden spike in votes and reviews? And if this really is true, then maybe Kenn was lying through his teeth when he said it "wasn't about the money". I mean, seriously. If it's not about the money, why the heck would you credit yourself as "marketing visionary" in the trailer? Does anyone see the irony in that? We're not that stupid. (Funny, I can imagine kids all over the world saying that to their parents when they saw the trailer.) Not to mention, if this is Mr. Viselman's way of compensating, then he must not be very good at his job. When you have to literally hire people to like your movie, then quit your occupation. That's like paying people to cheer you on at your baseball game. That's a bust. You've hit rock bottom, Kenn.

And this film truly deserves more bad views than it already has. Three over-sized, fully-clothed Teletub- er, I mean Oogieloves- go on a quest to find five magic balloons for their friend Schluufy. After all, it is his birthday (it is a he, right?). Okay, that's not a bad set up. It's simple enough. But we need to keep the parents entertained. Let's spice it up with some C-list celebrity cameos! I watch them sing and dance in this movie, and I bury my head in my hands, wondering "Why, Prince Wesley, why? Detective Kujan, what are you doing with your life? Doc Brown, if only you had your DeLorean to travel into your future and see this pile of dung!" It's sad, really. However, even when watching the movie, I think to myself "So what's so bad about this movie?"

It's not how poorly-made it is, how badly-written the songs are, or how embarrassing the cameos are. It's the fact that they think this is what kids need. Do children really need three crudely designed gigantors talking down to them (literally) as if they were stupid? This is WAY past pandering, it's babying. Many people would respond to this, saying "Oh abrown975, you've gone too far. It's just a kids movie. It doesn't have to be perfect." Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. "Oh come on, it's just a toy. It doesn't have to be perfect." "Lighten up, it's just a baby swing. So what if it's shoddily made?" "It's okay, it's just a pacifier. Why would it need to be child-safe?" Let me put things in perspective if I haven't done that accurately. Is "Barney's Great Adventure" a kids movie? Yes, and it was horrible. Is "The Lion King" a kids movie? Absolutely, but it's currently rated the #1 animated movie of all time on IMDb. What about "Mac and Me"? How great was that? Not at all. What about "Up"? Um, nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars, need I remind you.

Just because it's a kids movie doesn't mean quality has to be abandoned. Using "How can children tell?" as an excuse is just a blatant cop-out. It's laziness, no matter how "revolutionary" the idea is.

THAT'S why "The Oogieloves In the Big Balloon Adventure" is not only a horrible children's movie, but just a movie by itself.

And that's exactly why I say you should definitely watch it. WHAT A TWIST! Yes, that's right. Watch this horrible piece of poo. Watch it with your friends. Make fun of it. Have fun. This is the "Troll 2" of our generation. "Mystery Science Theater 3000" has prepared us for this exact moment.

Huh, maybe this was Kenn Viselman's plan all along to get viewers. Perhaps he really is a successful "marketing visionary" after all. Well played, Mr. Viselman.

This movie still sucks though, no matter how many PR people are telling us otherwise.

UPDATE: 6.3!

UPDATE 2: 7! This is unbelievable.

If I were 3 years old and had this garbage foisted on me...I'd consider putting myself up for adoption.

If I were 3 years old and had this garbage foisted on me...I'd fling fecal matter at the screen.

If I were 3 years old and had this garbage foisted on me...I'd throw a tantrum just to get taken out of the theater.

If I were 3 years old and had this garbage foisted on me...I'd never want to see another movie again.

This movie was not good.

Don't take your kids to see this garbage. There are TV shows far superior to this. There are classic movies far superior to this. Last year's Winnie The Pooh is perfect for kids. Show them that.

Not this sludge.

One of the worst movies in the world. Don't be fooled by the bots who are freaking PRAISING this movie. The movie is god awful. In fact it's so bad that I would give it 0 stars, but IMDb does not have an option to give it 0 stars. "The Oogieloves in the BIG Balloon Adventure" has to be the WORST movie ever right next to the Garbage Pail Kids movie. Don't waste your money on this miserable pile of excrement. It is absolutely horrible. Also, if you really want to have your eyes and ears bleed, watch the movie at your own risk. And, would you believe that this "movie" is at a 7.4?! Want to know why? Apparent some troll decided to get a bot that spams this movie with surprisingly positive reviews, thus, bringing the rating up. This movie is a good reason why IMDb needs bot protection.