Billy Owens and the Secret of the Runes

There are many certainties in life. Death, taxes, your first divorce, etc. One thing remains true to the world we live in...terrible direct to video movies rarely get sequels. Routinely, the original just slips away and we never hear from it again. And then there is Billy Owens and the Secret of the Runes.

Just when you thought an incomprehensible mess that was the first movie could exist, now we have this unbelievable melange of pitiful ness. With the exception of the kids, everyone literally phones this movie in. It was like they regretted signing the contracts to make this horrific nightmare. I'm sure the kids thought that, especially the scene where they look like they are freezing to death.

So what is the plot? I don't know. Inverted amulets, trapped souls, wizard fights, Viking lore, power numbers. Wait power numbers was in the first one. Sorry, it blends together so seamlessly in a fine smoothie of nonsense. It doesn't make sense. I get the feeling none of this makes sense. The bizarre ADR in this film and the horrendous quality leaves so much to the imagination. One day there might be an expose as to why these movies were made. And of course I will watch because I am a masochist like that.

Love yourself. Don't watch this film. Just don't.

I can't say much about this movie. It's pretty simple and small-budgeted. The special effects are amateur and the children actors are, well, children actors. They're not at all bad, but it does sound like just repeating lines at times. If you don't like that type of performance and prefer the trained technique, you might not like this. But the movie is charming and the story line is even more interesting, especially if you like Harry Potter and all that wizard magic stuff. I personally found this better than Harry Potter. Just ignore the newbie acting, and enjoy it as an indie wizard movie. I'm sure the actors and director had a lot of fun making it. I have to say one actor was particularly good in his role, and that was the teacher. Also the gypsy woman at the carnival was not bad. She gave me the creeps I needed. I recommend this movie to anyone who likes magic and adventure, and does not feel awkward watching a children movie. Kids will love it, but adults may enjoy it as well.