Sharks of the Corn

I'm a big Tim Ritter from back in the day. This movie is about a half hour long, has far too many characters, and lots of pacing issues. I liked the cheesy stuff and silly vibe but it is overwhelmingly boring.

This is one of those movies that is hysterically bad! The toy shark and kill scenes had my sides hurting from laughter. However despite how bad this is, this movie has the best cover ever.

Generally speak, I like Shark movies. It's really a stretch to call this a shark movie.

Everything about this was bad. Bad acting, bad cinematography, bad dialog, bad... no, not just bad but HORRIBLE "special effects".

I've had bouts of explosive diarrhea that were more enjoyable than this movie.

To be fair, I only got about 10 minutes in and pulled the plug. Maybe it's like the Wizard of Oz where the first part of the film is black and white and then transforms into a mind-blowing full-color experience only in this case, the movie starts horribly bad and then pivots unexpectedly into a cinematic masterpiece.

I mean, I highly doubt it, but it's always possible. I'll have to spin it up again and forward to the end.

This is not one of those movies that some scientist says that there are land sharks and no one believes until half the town is eaten; then you see the shark. In this movie you see the little cutie upfront. So, they wrote the script backwards.

I have cats that look more vicious. That is why I to not let them watch this sort of thing.

Some randy girl says "You can bite me. No extra charge." And there is some sort of Shark-a-do-do cult. That is still teething.

Speaking about girls, all the females in this movie look like they have been plumping up as shark-chow. Not one scrawny female among them.

Oh, no there is even an evil cabal of shark people. Or possibly alien shark people. Twists and turns abound without waiting for the end.

We may be confronted by a whole menagerie; I will not go into details as it is the fun of surprise. Luckily, we do not have to listen to rap music in the background. Periodically the cutie sharks barf up red corn sweetener.

I cannot believe Benchley (Casey Miracle) is a scoundrel. Will he come unhinged. As everybody must get stoned. He is also known as the varmint.

Filming location The Roundabout in Clark County, Kentucky U. S. A. Too bad as they have Inka giant corn in Salinas Valley, California.

The only thing that might be missing is Richard Dutoit Carlson. Then again?

This could be based on a real incident. As we know that there was corn in Mexico:

WORLD A boulder blocking a Mexican cave was moved. Hidden inside were human skeletons and the remains of sharks and blood-sucking bats.

BY KERRY BREEN DECEMBER 22, 2023 / 2:38 PM EST / CBS NEWS.

I LOVE bad movies. It's why I came to it with a name like Sharks of the Corn and sat with giggly glee at the fake shark going through the corn field in the beginning. What it's lacking though is a poke fun at itself. No humor really. They tried too hard to get the audience soon on with the immediate nudity of chunky girls and slashing with chunky ketchup blood.

The camera work is bad, as it should be, however, I think a middle schooler with a smart phone and social media filters could make it better (as we see on TikTok). For example, they bludgeon a guy, but we miss the hit and see their torso down with a ground shot. Head space isn't considered in any shot either.

I stuck with it because of curiosity of how bad could it get. Was it a waste of time? Maybe. Would I watch it again? Na. Will I talk about it after? Oh yeah!!