Candy Land

It's not horror, it's not action, it's not drama, not even a fantasy!

I don't know how and why this movie was released.

I don't know what kind of acting is this exactly.

Most of the movies supposed to be meant something (true story or there is a wisdom on it and maybe sometimes could be funny but in this movie there was nothing but wasting time.

I don't recommend this movie to any kind of natural human no matter what their age is and specially the teen age. It will not benefits them nothing but a bad and crap thoughts and drag them to a different path.

And I am sure that many people will agree with me.

"Candy Land" is another entry in the seemingly never-ending stream of throwback exploitation/horror to 'back when the genre was still harsh and relentless. I normally would have passed, since too often these movies are incredibly disappointing, but gave it a chance after several friends and fellow reviewers (with whom I usually agree) said it was good and really worth checking out.

Guess what, ... it is! "Candy Land" is a refreshingly original and authentically gritty exploitation wild-ride, with strong performances from plausible actresses/actors, plenty of uncanny violence, and an extremely persuasive underbelly-of-America ambiance. Writer/director John Swab gives a realistic portrayal of a seedy truck-stop and roadside motel (I reckon, at least, it's not as if I visit those places very often).

A close group of sex workers at truck stop Candy Land shelter and care for a naïve and vulnerable young woman when she gets exiled from the fanatically religious sect she grew up in. The girl - Remy - gradually becomes a "lot lizard" herself, but the impressive wooden crucifix she carries around everywhere reveals that she might have a hidden agenda.

"Candy Land" benefices from extremely powerful and explicit opening sequences, as if John Swab promptly intends to make very clear that he's not about to conceal or romanticize anything in his film. We're talking about rough, emotionless sex sequences in filthy toilets or dark truck cabins, and brutal confrontations between prostitutes & God-freaks. The most intelligent and effective trick Swab pulls off, however, is that he patiently takes time to introduce the lead characters, and basically obliges the audience to sympathize and cheer for a band of prostitutes. And it works, too. Sadie, Levi, Riley, and Liv are sublime characters. Heck, even the cuckoo Remy and the imposing "Madame" Nora are somewhat likeable. Only the customers and sect-members are truly appalling. And maybe also William Baldwin, who puts down a courageous performance as the Sheriff.

Review title inspired by Iggy Pop's song "Candy"

Candy Land looks like a B-movie, feels like a B-movie, is a B-movie. Not that aren't good B-movies, but this one is just not one of them. The story is just a bit stupid. Plenty of murders, no investigations whatsoever, nobody slightly worried about the rising death toll, it's just bad writing. The acting is just average, certainly no award winners here. William Baldwin, the less famous one of the family, plays the sheriff, you wonder how he got that job as he's not slightly interested in doing any police work. He acts okay but his character is just dumb. I wouldn't waste my time with this one if I were you, there are much better movies than Candy Land.

A truck-stop hooker thinks twice when a cult turns up to save her soul, but her fate may be sealed when one of the cult decides to go on the game with her.

People say this harks back to '70s exploitation movies - and it does, but in two ways: one good, one bad. The good comes in the open and frank sleaze of the prostitution biz, with completely candid performances showing us how it works, what it does to people, and I guess above all how the workers retain their kindness and empathy. These characters are very nicely put together, and I was totally engaged by them for the first half of the story.

It helps that the cinematography and the writing and editing keep the scenes on point, with a good flow. As well as the acting, maybe the best quality of the production is the sound design, with a subtle shriek when a pair of eyes are opened and a faint heart-patter during a virgin's first time.

The bad comes in the second half, when we enter straight up slasher mode. That genre rarely appeals to me, so I can't be too hard, but there really is nothing of interest to say as all the character-building is thrown away in favour of a lurid and unenlightening mania. Also, there's no real jeopardy for the villain since nobody entertains any suspicion, making the plausibility break down as the climax approaches. And then, as in all metaller productions of horror, the music has to go tongue-in-cheek, combining Christmas carols with scenes of bleak death. No idea why they always pull the rug out from under interesting stories.

The one movie this reminds me of is from the '70s - Alice, Sweet Alice, which has the same shape of a disturbing, engaging start and a lurid, pointless end.

Overall: Good story finished off by typing into ChatGPT: 'write the ending of a religious slasher.'

Opening scene: 10/10. Newb producer, writer and director John Swab sure knows how to capture and maintain the audiences attention. This is Swab's only sixth filmmaking credit, and although not perfect, there is not one dull moment throughout the film's comfortable 93 min runtime. The pacing was decent for the most part, and his directing and camera shots were excellent. Even the colorful cast of outcasts performed well, although Olivia Luccardi as Remy could've used better cast direction in the first half. The story itself was a combination of genres mixed together and it actually worked. It wasn't perfect writing, but all this put together by a relatively inexperienced filmmaker was impressive. It's certainly worth at least a one-time watch, and a well deserved 8/10 from me.