Dragonquest

Just want to say, if you're pondering whether or not you want to see this movie, do not... Just, do not see this film.

I will sum it up for you here: Badly directed acting, terrible cgi animations, the fight scenes seem like they're made by someone who has no clue what he was doing, laughably easy challenges with obvious, plain stupid or silly solutions, no character development. I feel bad for the actors who appeared in this nightmare and I hope that this, bad though it is, gives them the break to do something better later on.

I wanted to like this movie, since it's been a while since the last descent fantasy movie, but I couldn't.

So let's movie on and point out the positives of this finely crafted piece of horribleness.

1- Mark Singer does his best to channel the pirate Long John Silver as was played in the movie with Robert Newton, except that Mark's character is not a pirate, so that's pretty nifty.

2- Daniel Bonjour shifts from an American to a British accent and back again in every sing sentence he speaks.

3- The props appear to be the best stuff one might buy off the shelf at somewhere like Hot Topic. The jewelry... just wow.

4- Russel Reynolds looks like Spock!

5- They didn't waste money on expensive 3D graphics, and this is a movie that is better left as cheap as possible.

6- All the outfits look really clean and new, almost as if they had never been worn before, ever. It's a very clean world in this movie.

So what is bad about this movie? Nothing. This has everything you could possibly hope for. Film, this is.

Marc Singer, hero of the legendary movie Beastmaster, is back with more of the same. The only difference is that this movie appeared to be made 20 something years before the Beastmaster instead of 20 something years after.

I react the same negative way as many others reacted, but maybe I have some alternate views. Maybe I think that the actors and the writers were paid for the amount of words that were used. Almost none, so sticking to a low budget must not have been a problem. There were a couple of facial expressions though, as thoughtful as from a b-rated soap opera. For sure nothing was spent on special effects on neither dragons nor quests, so I guess it all went to the outfits or to the appearance of the characters. A few rags here and there, a few piles of mud to roll into before playing your part, that must have been expensive.

Was there a lack of character development? I think they rather developed really well from single cell organisms to two-footed Neanderthals.

Of course, if all else fails, you have naked women and fierce fights. Wait, they didn't have naked women (almost though, in the beginning, but that should have been warning that it wasn't going to happen). And they didn't have fierce fights. Well, nothing that my dead grandfather couldn't have won. You should enjoy the abilities of the army (I mean the five soldiers) during the final fight.

A negative experience, for sure. I'm sorry for anyone who spent money on this. My advice, take your copy of Beastmaster from under the dust.

Star Wars? or Star Trek? This is my first review on IMDb. So I will just leave it with the question. It also requires that the review should be a minimum of ten lines. So what else can I say, Marc Singer, still a interesting actor. Brian Thompson, is just really fun to watch. The story, As I asked in my question,seems to borrow from more than Star Wars, or Star Trek. I think casting Brian Thompson in any film would probably conjure up visions of both of those films. Having to write ten lines for my first ever review on this site seem a bit much for this film. If you like the genre, then this is at least a must watch for anyone who likes to write reviews. Other wise, really, do not waste your time. Use your time to watch and review another film. Is this ten lines yet?. paf3150

This "Lord of the rings" rip-off by mockbuster master The Asylum is a lot better than it deserves to be.

Daniel Bonjour, obviously cast because he looks a lot like Frodo, plays Arkadi, a youthful adventurer who must collect a number of jewels which, when placed into an amulet that looks like it was bought at Claire's Boutique for $10.95, will for unexplained reasons give him the power to save the world from the evil of a wizard named Kirill, played by Not Ron Perlman.

He's aided in his quest by two warriors: Katya, whose porn star makeup and lip gloss perfectly match her porn star acting talents, and Maxim, played by ungracefully aging Marc "Beastmaster" Singer, whom the director unwisely required to act like the child of an unholy union between Yoda and Popeye.

Between the opening scenes of Not Frodo peeping at a hottie villager taking her clothes off for no good reason (Note: you don't even get a peek; don't even bother pausing or backtracking the DVD like I did) and the anticlimactic final battle between Not Frodo and Not Ron Perlman, there's in fact a charming little fantasy story going on, with some pretty location shooting and nice b-roll over mountain vistas and lush forests.

The dragons are actually pretty neat looking, even though all they really do is fly around and shake their heads back and forth.

All in all, "Dragonquest" comes off as a bunch of renfaire friends who got together and made their own fantasy movie, with some bargain basement CGI spliced in. On that level, it's a pleasant enough bit of fun.

Don't pay full price for it; that would just be foolish. But I've seen it on Amazon for about three bucks new, paired on the same DVD with the equally workmanlike Asylum effort "Merlin: War of the Dragons." That's how to buy your bad movies, folks. Get 'em cheap, watch 'em once, sell 'em for a profit at your next garage sale.

"Dragonquest" isn't worth anything more than that, and doesn't aspire to be.