Suck

For those not into the Twilight genre of pretend vampire movies, this is an interesting film from Canada.

The band sucks, and so does someone else. The second sucking will cure the first.

Rock legends Alice Cooper, Moby, and Iggy Pop contribute to the fun, which also includes cartoon scenes interspersed throughout.

And, what would be a vampire movie without Van Helsing. Malcolm McDowell fills that role splendidly.

More yucks than gore. So, it is really a very soft R, almost a PG-13. Put drugs in a film and it overrides everything else.

After ten years on the road without success, rock band The Winners are on the verge of splitting up. Their luck changes, however, after Jennifer (Jessica Paré), the band's sexy female vocalist, falls victim to a vampire and becomes a member of the undead, drawing in the crowds with her supernatural stage presence. Pretty soon, the other members of the band are joining the ranks of the undead in their bid for fame and fortune.

It's a brave move to call your movie Suck, such a title inviting the obvious derogatory comment from those who don't quite appreciate your vision. Thankfully, Rob Stefaniuk's offbeat musical vampire road movie should avoid such harsh criticism from the majority of viewers: although it doesn't quite achieve the cult brilliance it so clearly strives for and some of the comedy falls flat, the fun cast (which includes rock stars Alice Cooper, Iggy Pop, Henry Rollins and Moby) and some surprisingly good songs make this moderately entertaining for the duration.

In Montreal, Joey (Rob Stefaniuk) is the lead singer of the struggling band "The Winners", composed by the sexy bass singer Jennifer (Jessica Paré), the guitarist Tyler (Paul Anthony), the drummer Sam (Mike Lobel) and the handyman Hugo (Chris Ratz). Their incompetent and alcoholic manager Jeff (Dave Foley) is incapable to help them to reach success and they are on the road on tour playing in clubs and bars in Canada and United States of America.

After a show in a bar in Montreal, Jennifer, who is also the Joey's former girlfriend, leaves the place with the creepy Queeny (Dimitri Coats), who is a vampire, and they spend the night together. On the next morning, Jennifer does not meet the band and they travel in their hearse to participate in a rock 'n' roll show without her. In the last moment, Jennifer arrives with a different appearance and on the next day they find that their home page had had several hits, all of them with good reviews and compliments to Jennifer. They become famous and Jennifer brings great audiences to the shows of "The Winners" and one by one, the musicians are turned into vampires but the reluctant Joey. "The Winners" become successful and Joey has a dream where he meets the bartender (Alice Cooper) of their show in Montreal in a crossroad and the man tells that he needs to decide whether he wants to be a winner or a loser. Meanwhile the vampire hunter Eddie Van Helsing (Malcolm McDowell) is hunting the vampire queen and tracking "The Winners" in their shows.

"Suck" is a refreshing vampire and rock 'n' roll cult movie with cameo of Alice Copper, Iggy Pop, Moby and Henry Rollins. But the greatest attraction is the sexy and gorgeous Jessica Paré with her luxurious lips and beautiful eyes. Chris Ratz is hilarious in the role of the handyman Hugo and Malcolm McDowell has also a great performance. But the originality of the story makes this film a worthwhile entertainment. My vote is seven.

Title (Brazil): Not Available

I attended the World Premiere of "Suck" at the 2009 Toronto International Film Festival. To simply say that this film is an original hybrid of genres doesn't do it justice. I'd label it a rock 'n roll vampire musical comedy road movie. Talk about a unique concept.

Writer/director/composer/lead actor Rob Stefaniuk has crafted a work of pure genius. The basic premise is simple: rock band The Winners, like most small-town acts, will do whatever it takes to make it in the music world. They stumble upon an "interesting" formula and hit the road.

The catch here is that the technique comes via bandmate Jennifer (Jessica Paré), who picked up something while carousing with a visiting rock band that gives them powers you just don't get from Red Bull.

The mind-boggling ensemble cast features such diverse icons as Malcolm McDowell and Dave Foley to rock legends including Alice Cooper, Henry Rollins, Moby, Iggy Pop, and Alex Lifeson. There aren't just cameos, either.

Even with its stellar cast, "Suck" is still story-driven and filled with gutbusting humor. The script guarantees a gag on every page. Production values belie the film's relatively small budget with topnotch visual and special effects that just wowed me. Michele Conroy's rapid-fire editing picks up the already fast pace of the action and never lets up. But the soundtrack makes the movie. Kickass music infuses the film in segments that could function as standalone videos or strung together to make a concert movie. The fact that most of the musicians/characters (led by director Rob Stefaniuk) actually wrote, play, and sing their own songs is a big plus, to say the least.

I'll skip the review of the regular stuff and jump right to what makes this movie unique. First off, we get a parade of cameos from legendary alt-rockers We have Alice Cooper as the headmaster vampire (not far from his real life persona), Iggy Pop as a hopelessly old school studio engineer, Henry Rollins as a hilarious loud mouthed DJ, Alex Lifeson (guitarist extraordinaire for Rush) as a creepy border crossing guard, Carole Pope (80s punk icon) as a club bouncer, Moby as an arrogant rival band singer, and who knows, probably a few more I missed.

"Suck" relies on these cameos to give the audience a little wink. So if you're unfamiliar with these people, you might miss out. It's never too late to look them up on youtube though. There are other little inside jokes too; for example, there are a number of visual homages to famous album covers (if nothing else, you'll recognize Abbey Road). Digging deeper, there are funny ironies such as Moby playing a character named "Beef" whose gimmick is to play with raw meat on stage. In real life, Moby is a strict vegan... and it's hilariously obvious that the "raw meat" is nothing more than some strips of rubber with red food dye.

A lot of this stuff comes at you fast, and even the most hardcore fans will probably miss a few gags. So don't worry if you have to watch the movie multiple times.

OK, all that aside, the story itself is pretty basic but with an interesting metaphorical spin to it. As other reviewers have pointed out, it's not a movie about vampires as much as it's about the vices of success... whether we're talking about drugs, glamour, or "selling out". How far will a struggling musician go to win fame? And at what cost? That's basically the only serious part of the film, and the rest is totally tongue-in-cheek. Don't expect realism. In its place expect absurdist humor (such as the fact that nobody gets caught for murdering people in the open, or live on national radio). Again, this may be a metaphor for the fact that many famous musicians never got caught for their extravagant drug habits even though they flaunted it in public. With that in mind, "Suck" becomes a biting satire of not just the fame-seeking rock stars, but also of the mindless fans who will condone and glorify anything.

I saved one of the best performances for last. Malcom McDowell plays an ominous character with a fetish for flashlights. He brings his usual larger-than-life presence to the screen but with a nice comedic air. Check out the outtakes on the DVD and you'll see that he had a great time playing the part.

Even if you have no idea who some of these famous cult musicians are, you'll still find the movie entertaining, funny & interesting from start to finish. Similar films include the Australian flick "Garage Days" by Alex Proyas, "Thunderstruck" (about a bunch of AC/DC obsessed fans), and on the more serious side, "Sympathy for Delicious" which tells a great rock'n'roll metaphor.

But like I said up front, this film's power lies in its ability to connect with "cult audiences" using cameo appearances to create quirky characters. In that respect I'd compare it to "Coffee and Cigarettes" by Jim Jarmusch (featuring Iggy Pop, Tom Waits, The White Stripes, etc). If you recognize at least 50% of the people I've mentioned, then don't hesitate to see this flick.