USS Seaviper

So this is second time around to write a review for this movie as my last one got removed for some unknown reason.

I'm an avid fan of most war movies especially WWII so I looked forward to watching this movie one evening. The IMDb review had given it 7.1 out of 10 so I thought this must be good. It is now reflects a lowly 2.1, which in my opinion is still too high, and probably due to the handful of 10/10 reviews that some people are making. Maybe they are related to the cast or crew or just like punishing themselves.

However, as soon as the first scene came on it became apparent that all was not quite right. It's one of those feelings that you get when you know something is not quite right but you can't put your finger on it straight away. The acting just did not feel correct. The production and direction was straight out of the dummy's guide on how to make a movie. The script was stilted in many places and the actors looked like they had just stepped out of the shower, donned their neatly ironed shirts and trimmed their beards.

The further in it went the special effects and sets just seemed cheap. The characters were like cardboard cut-outs, one dimensional and very stiff. The Germans are portrayed as stereotypical evil Nazis with no humanity and the Americans are the good guys who can do no wrong.

This ranks as one of the worst movies I have seen in a long time. It was so bad that I had to give up watching during the movie. Life is way too short to waste it watching any of this movie. Read a book instead.

Usually I am encouraging with my comments and ratings, but Sea Viper really is that bad a movie. I cannot find a single redeeming feature about it, which I've had said of very few movies I've seen this year. Visually, Sea Viper is very amateurish, everything is all over the place that gives an impression that the director and the editor had absolutely no idea how to do so, and sometimes what we see on screen is close to incoherent. And I do agree that the uniforms and such looked far too clean, and that the lighting was too one-note. The sound quality is murky and the soundtrack is monotonous to the extent that it and the sound combined are a constant drone drowning almost everything out. Not enough however to drown out the utter banality that is the dialogue, and you can tell that the actors were struggling delivering it. The acting is awful, they look bored out of their skulls(their line delivery completely betrays that notion), they're wooden and they look as if they have as much life as marionettes(and that in itself is an insult to marionettes). Their characters are severely underwritten stereotypes, with absolutely no chemistry between them. The story, last but not least, is practically a non-event, what there is of one is plodding, has no tension or suspense of the kind and it doesn't make a remote bit of sense. There are even scenes that seem lifted out of films like Crimson Tide, and the probability of Sea Viper being anywhere near as intelligently written or suspenseful as that is at a big fat zero and even down in the minuses. To conclude, a dreadful movie that really does sink to the lowest common denominator and the only place it should be is as far as it can go at the bottom of the ocean never to be seen again. 0/10 Bethany Cox

I created an account to provide a review of this film as it is so awful. I paid to see it as it was rated 7.3/10 on IMDb. I don't know how this film achieved this score unless all the other reviewers were part of the film itself!

The acting is terrible. The direction is terrible. The script is terrible.

If a group of 11 year old children decided to make a film, had a camera, wrote a script, then got some money for some special effects (around say $23), then this would be the result.

This is the worst film I have ever seen. It may in fact be the worst film that has ever been made in all of human history.

I had high hopes going into this film, it is highly rated on IMDb and looked to be on an interesting subject. However I got hung up on all the little errors that are on every frame. Hands down the biggest complaint I would have is with the costumes. When the 'admiral' and 'captain' are speaking to each other, notice how clean their clothes are...like they have never been worn before 10 min ago when filming began. Also pay attention to the large numbers of medals the Admiral is wearing to denote his rank and any citations he may have been awarded in his career. When the characters are playing cards, it is obvious none of them know how to play, they use continuation bets.

Much of the effects seem to be added as an after thought, when the sub is preparing to dive some idiot throws a bucket of water down the hatch as it is closed, to signify the approaching ocean. Cut to the next scene and the sub is still 10 feet above the water preparing to dive, nice and dry. Also the actors should have been given an hour or two to practice moving on the ship hurriedly, like their lives depended on getting to that hatch before the ocean came into the sub! These actors would die so fast in war.

This is what a movie would look like if it was done by a group of small children on a budget of say $24.99. The script is ridiculous, acting horrible, direction obviously got lost somewhere along the line and failed to show up at the shoot.

This is supposed to be an important story of WW2, but even after forcing myself to reach the end of this disgrace, I still have no idea what the big story is about. The only thing I found amusing is the (supposedly) British officer. He keeps breathing heavily (maybe a relative of the heavy breather in Student Bodies?), showing his pearly whites and nose hair, while his British accent is something he could've picked up in a cheap novelty shop.

Stay away from this one. Or better yet, check it out and see for yourselves. Watching such trollop makes you appreciate quality cinema more. And that has to count for something, right?