The Union

Well ... I found myself playing mindless games on my phone half way through, keeping a half an eye on the movie.

First the pros: the action sequences were pretty good. (Sorry, it's a short list) Cons: very little chemistry between the leads, I made the bad guy immediately (and if I did, why didn't the international super-spy?) and it just wasn't even believable enough to allow the suspension of disbelief needed for movies of this genre. One example: I suspect that secret agents do everything they can to blend in, rather than dressing like a cross between catwoman and action Barbie, with eye-catching hair.

Anyways ... not objectionable but with the resources obviously available, just feel like this could have been done way better.

....when actors can get a bit too old to do action movies. I loved Halle Berry in John Wick, but her action sequences in this movie made her look stiff and old and slow. When we've seen her do action in X-Men and even Cat Woman, it's sadly clear that the lady, amazing as ever to look at, is beyond those high energy action flicks.

I enjoy Mark Wahlberg in just about anything I've ever seen him in. He can always hold his own, but the script didn't give him, or anyone else, much to hold on to.

I'd be pretty put out if I had gone to a movie theater to see this movie. Since it was on Netflix, I don't feel too bad. At least I can still rewatch the Great British Baking Show to balance out my losses.

Normally, I don't punch like this, but when you have a cast of truly A-list actors, you expect something worth giving 105 minutes of your life to, that you can never get back.... Italy was pretty.

It has become painfully clear that Hollywood is short on good writing. This movie has a ton of story to work with but instead flushes it down the toilet. To be clear it is a stylish action flick, it looks really pretty and the action scenes are fun to watch. The problem however is that the flick has employed an impressive number of A-list actors and gave them poop scripts. The only person that had any decent lines was J. K. Simmons, all the rest of the cast was wasted on a doo-doo script. It wouldn't be out of place to say this has been done before, and a lot better than this. After the plot was explained it was painfully obvious they just copy and pasted bits and pieces from other espionage movies to get this stylish looking thing on screens. It's too bad really, the story could have been worked into something much better than what the end result was. This is a watch and make fun of it while it plays movie, that could have been so much more.

Picturesque locations, good production values, some good actors and Mark Wahlberg, but nothing memorable. Perfect moving wallpaper to glance at occasionally while scrolling on your phone. Essentially it's a string of comfortable cliches strung together in a predictable sequence, designed to make you forget to cancel your Netflix subscription. Halle Berry looks better than ever, JK Simmons doesn't break a sweat using one of his 'grizzled' character templates.

The UK setting is puzzling because apart from the scenery it's almost wall-to-wall Americans doing American things in American ways. The Slovenian locations look beautiful but, again, they have no impact on the plot, which could easily have been generated by ChatGPT with a very short prompt.

Going into this action/comedy movie, I knew nothing about it and my expectation was extremely low. Maybe too low but I felt this movie started out OK. Things made sense but it went South (way South) very very quickly. Everything was sub-par ranging from action scenes to acting, and it was really getting painful to watch toward the end. There was no climax whatsoever. Thank God I was not watching this in the movie theater!

Unless you have watched everything on Netflix (which I was told simply impossible), please skip this one. You have not missed much and glad that you have followed my advice.