Attack of the Giant Blurry Finger

Right, well as I sat down to watch the movie "Attack of the Giant Blurry Finger" I was expecting it to be a goofy and silly horror comedy, especially since it was listed as being a horror comedy. But this was softcore porn, pure and simple.

I managed to endure 15 minutes of the dreadful movie that is "Attack of the Giant Blurry Finger" before I called it quits and went to watch something else. This is without a doubt one of the worst movies I have stumbled upon. If you want to make porn, make porn. Don't dress it up, present it as being a horror comedy and try to pass it off as being a proper movie. But I suppose this was writers Cody Clarke and Chloe Pelletier way into releasing a pseudo-sextape. And wonderfully enough, the only cast members in the movie are Cody Clarke and Chloe Pelletier as well, surprise, surprise.

After 15 minutes of watching a woman wandering around in her apartment, masturbating - without it actually showing anything lewd - then I just had enough. I knew what the rest of the movie would bring, and I needed not to waste my time on such rubbish as this turned out to be. "Attack of the Giant Blurry Finger" was not a horror comedy at all, believe you me. 15 minutes of no dialogue and just some amateurish filming, acting and self-pleasuring, nah, not my cup of tea.

"Attack of the Giant Blurry Finger" was a massive waste of my time and effort, and it has nothing to do with being a properly entertaining movie, not even in the least bit.

I am rating "Attack of the Giant Blurry Finger" a one out of ten stars, solely because it is the lowest possible score to give on IMDb. I would have rated it a zero, if I could, because this "movie" was horribly bad. God awful bad. And I have absolutely no interest in returning to watch "Attack of the Giant Blurry Finger" as it offered nothing in any sense of entertainment or enjoyment for me.

Sci-fi horror comedy where a giant blurry finger comes down from outer space and terrorizes Chloe, a young woman with a rocking body, interrupting her lonely night at home.

It's a hard movie to sustain interest in for more than a few minutes. Once she stops ogling herself in her tight little undies and strips for the shower, you'll lose interest.

In fact the entire movie's only good scenes are when she's naked fondling herself or letting the giant blurry finger do it.

Other than that, where can the movie go? There's virtually no dialog. This is not Citizen Kane. It's a chick taking off and putting on her clothes and a dopey finger getting in the way of us seeing her in her birthday suit.

She grows to love that finger in more ways than one. So there really isn't an "attack."

Or is there?

If she's an aspiring actress, I'd love to know if she put this movie in her reel. She'd probably get a lot of "audition" requests.

Click my name to see my lists.

This is less a serious group movie for beer with friends to watch (although you could), but more of a "let's check this out" kinda deal. There is the initial concept, a WHOLE BUNCH of beating the concept into the ground, then the TnA pay off. The girl's body is smokin gorgeous, and that help's with a movie that feels like an overstretched skit. Seriously, if it's Beer night with friends, let this movie play if you are busy getting everything set up, or playing cards, or just want something on as you do other things. It has a recurring nudity joke that is similar to one I'd thought of, so I thought that was fun; and I'm sure you'll find it funny too! This movie does reward patient viewers though. So keep that in mind.

Alright, watch the trailer(which contains Chloe in underwear)! You'll get an idea of what to expect. Much to Cody's chagrin probably, I am gonna agree and say it is basically a softcore porn, you just can't pretend it isn't, if I say otherwise, people will get a bit of a shock and be disgusted, if you go in knowing what to expect, you can decide if you watch to watch it. Yes, it is essentially a silent film with almost no dialog, but I see that as an asset, and it sets it apart, the music is very well used and it is never boring. I enjoy his films, I have watched all but one, at the same time, I am never going to pull punches. No one can get better at their craft if we throw softballs in my reviews.

This is Cody's best film technically speaking(I'm not saying it's the best script-wise, Ramekin, The DVD, or Mute Date get that award), in terms of editing, sound is really good, lighting(no supplemental lighting used) is very good, the silent nature of the film is probably also one of the most compelling parts, it conveys a lot without saying almost anything. I would agree it is a comedy, it is absurdist, to say the least. It definitely is not meant to be taken at face value, so if you choose to watch this, then be aware of that, and don't take it literally.

Given that, I am going to have to say, I like the idea in and of itself(not the sex), it is clever, zany, and silly and original. I do get the subtext, it could be an analogy for a lot of things. I saw it as an allegory for abuse. I also felt like the Blurry Finger wasn't even real, it was like her interpretation of her bad and disintegrating relationship, by the end, this is the feeling I got from the film.

Unlike others, I don't think the movie overstays it's welcome, it is only 60 minutes, a couple of his other films clock in at about 100 minutes, I think the idea merits a feature-length film, . What I don't like about the length, is that about 30 minutes of this is essentially sex or rather a good portion, and yes, I had to skip some parts because I do not watch films with explicit sex, call me prude, but that is just how I am, it doesn't matter if it is with an alien blurry finger or normal humans. If that doesn't bug you, or sounds great, well, there you go! I am not marking the movie down based on that part of the film fyi, but focusing on it's overall content and execution, which I think is very well done.

I give Cody and Chloe props for making this in quarantine, I don't discount what they did, but that doesn't mean I think it is necessarily a great movie. The idea is A+, the technical aspects are great, but the execution of the story is wanting. So much more, even in the confines of the house could have been done with this, and still included some sex, so I am critical of the amount of run time the sex takes up, yes. There will be people who watch this just for the sex, and given this film hasn't been out long, and it has garnered more reviews than many of Cody's films, even if I don't like a lot of it, it has clearly struck a chord for better or worse, so there you go!

This film isn't for everybody but it's clever and artistic and quite amusing.