Cannibal Troll

Netflixian cast who can't act, a Cannibal Troll that isn't, and spelling fairy tale as "fairytail".

There are many ways to enjoy this film: cautionary tale about casting, trying to make sense of its incoherent gibberish, continually wondering where the money came to make it- tax writeoff? Some kind of arts grant for diversity?

This is cack. Scrape it off your shoe and do not watch it.

I can't post the review until I type up at least 150 characters, so I will do the work that should've been done when naming the movie...

Can·ni·bal noun

• an animal that feeds on flesh of its own species.

I deduct one star retroactively, since you can't give 0 stars.

Seriously, save yourself from this, whatever it is. Bad script, bad acting, bad movie , way too long - 2 stars as I managed to stay with it until the end, only fast forwarded a few times. It's 2021 and they still think its ok to push out this crap. If there was nudity in this, I'd have given it an extra star. Not going on my recommendation list.

Sure, when I sat down to watch the 2021 horror movie titled "Cannibal Troll" and from what I saw on the movie's cover, I must admit that I wasn't really expecting much of anything grand here.

But still, as it was a horror movie that I hadn't already seen, of course I sat down to watch it. But it quickly became apparent that I was in for a stinker here. A real stinker at that.

The storyline is pretty straight forward, as you would expect from a horror movie that very much is reminiscent of something you'd see in an early 1980s horror movie. And not the good early 1980s horror movies, mind you.

Then there was the troll. Wow. Just wow. Seriously? You dress a guy up in what could best be regarded as a poor man's "Lord of the Rings" orc costume, and even with clothing appropriate to that fantasy movie, and you call it a cannibal troll? Well, my hat is off to writer Scott Jeffrey for attempting this. I mean, seriously, this was so obviously a latex mask, given there was no articulation in it whatsoever, not even when the troll was making grunting sounds.

If you enjoy horror movies and want to be entertained and watch a proper horror movie that offers scares, blood and perhaps some gore, and say, oh I don't know, entertainment, then do yourself a favor and stay well clear of "Cannibal Troll" from directors Scott Jeffrey and Rebecca Matthews.

The acting in "Cannibal Troll", well, it was as to be expected from a movie of this magnitude. So don't get your hopes up.

"Cannibal Troll" feels like a high school film class project, and it isn't work the time or effort.

My rating of this movie lands on a generous two out of ten stars.

Cannibal Troll is not the best of horror films, that's definitely certain. The acting is average, but admittedly better than the usual Scott Chambers's ultra low budget horror flick. The troll isn't actually a cannibal as it neither eats human flesh or troll flesh.

The plot was terrible and involves several friends going on a sort of hen-do type trip before the main character gets married (cue unusual and out of place lesbian side plot!) her husband to be is apparently not thought of too well by the girls who outright call him boring within the first ten minutes to the weak defense of the main character. The actual troll's mask is quite silly, but again, I've seen worse. There are a couple of somewhat effective tense moments, but they're quickly destroyed when we actually come face to face with the troll in the second half. There's a ridiculous sub plot involving a Priest and, what I think, was a holy handgun.

3/10: Cinematography and acting are average, but it's brought down in every other department. At least it wasn't as boring as some other ultra low budget films.