Cannibal Troll

Beautiful people getting hacked via bad FX, yes its another horror monster movie with bad acting, and its nothing original.

The FX are bad, the monster looks bad and pretty much the rest of the movie.

I can't post the review until I type up at least 150 characters, so I will do the work that should've been done when naming the movie...

Can·ni·bal noun

• an animal that feeds on flesh of its own species.

I deduct one star retroactively, since you can't give 0 stars.

Sure, when I sat down to watch the 2021 horror movie titled "Cannibal Troll" and from what I saw on the movie's cover, I must admit that I wasn't really expecting much of anything grand here.

But still, as it was a horror movie that I hadn't already seen, of course I sat down to watch it. But it quickly became apparent that I was in for a stinker here. A real stinker at that.

The storyline is pretty straight forward, as you would expect from a horror movie that very much is reminiscent of something you'd see in an early 1980s horror movie. And not the good early 1980s horror movies, mind you.

Then there was the troll. Wow. Just wow. Seriously? You dress a guy up in what could best be regarded as a poor man's "Lord of the Rings" orc costume, and even with clothing appropriate to that fantasy movie, and you call it a cannibal troll? Well, my hat is off to writer Scott Jeffrey for attempting this. I mean, seriously, this was so obviously a latex mask, given there was no articulation in it whatsoever, not even when the troll was making grunting sounds.

If you enjoy horror movies and want to be entertained and watch a proper horror movie that offers scares, blood and perhaps some gore, and say, oh I don't know, entertainment, then do yourself a favor and stay well clear of "Cannibal Troll" from directors Scott Jeffrey and Rebecca Matthews.

The acting in "Cannibal Troll", well, it was as to be expected from a movie of this magnitude. So don't get your hopes up.

"Cannibal Troll" feels like a high school film class project, and it isn't work the time or effort.

My rating of this movie lands on a generous two out of ten stars.

This film has some characteristics that I like: the budget is very low, some actresses are quite good which indicates that the casting was not so bad and it shows a decent production design for the few dollars they had. Leaving this aside, there are a thousand things that did not go well: the idea of avoiding gore content, the total absence of intelligence of the film's characters, the lack of nudity and the fact that the villain had no previous history. I accept the good intentions of the producers but the end result is terrible with some positive caveats.

Seriously, save yourself from this, whatever it is. Bad script, bad acting, bad movie , way too long - 2 stars as I managed to stay with it until the end, only fast forwarded a few times. It's 2021 and they still think its ok to push out this crap. If there was nudity in this, I'd have given it an extra star. Not going on my recommendation list.