Dracula's Guest

I watched this on the FEARnet website, for free thank goodness. If I'd paid money to see this thing I'd have been quite ticked off. I seriously thought it was a fan-made film, something a group of amateurs had done for fun. Or maybe a student film. Then I found out it was released by Lions Gate. Seriously?! The plot was confusing and incoherent, much of the dialog was sappy and the 'acting' by most of the cast was atrocious. I gave it a 2 because it did make me giggle a few times, so I guess it could be considered slightly entertaining. However, it wasn't amusing enough for me to recommend it even as 'so bad it's good'. Don't waste your time.

This is a VERY ambitious undertaking for Michael Feifer, who usually keeps to grade "Z" horror, and he is really in over his head. In fact, most of the actors are also in over their head in this vampire period piece. The accents, the acting, all are amateur at best (with one or two notable exceptions). The film does have a few merits, but they are overwhelmed by the poor direction and overall lackluster acting.

This tale is based on one of Stoker's short stories where Elizabeth is trapped by Dracula in his castle and Bram Stoker (himself) must save her. Obviously it takes liberties with the actual short stories (placing the author himself in the tome), but it is based on a couple of Stoker's tales, one of which is Dracula's Guest (the same name as the film).

In this film, Bram Stoker (yes, the lead character is named after the writer of the story this is based upon) and Elizabeth Murray are engaged to be married. Stoker is a junior associate at a real estate firm who gets his chance at a promotion through handling the property search for Count Dracula (obviously, it is very similar thus far in exposition to Stoker's novel, Dracula). Elizabeth's father, Admiral Murray (played terribly by Dan Speaker) refuses to give Bram his daughter's hand in marriage until they have separated — with no contact — for one year. Bram acquiesces to the Admiral's wishes much to the chagrin of Elizabeth who runs away in response where she runs into the Count who takes her to his castle by casting a spell over her. There he imprisons her to get to her father who the Count says descends from a long line of vampire hunters who have "wreaked havoc on {his} family for centuries". It seems Dracula wants to breed with Elizabeth to bear a child which will lift the curse on his family, by creating a new race of super vampires (one presumes, because actually his plot is confusing and never fully understood). Bram sets out to rescue Elizabeth, which pits him against the Count.

The film does manage a few positive elements, however one of them is *not* the soundtrack, which seems like it was created by a high school amateur in his living room on a Casio keyboard. Dracula is played by an actor (Andrew Bryniarski) who usually plays the stupid jock in films (The Program, Higher Learning) which is probably what he should continue playing, as he is not capable of pulling off a challenging and meaty role like Dracula. Andrew hams it up terribly, and for some reason constantly waves his hands around his face like he is auditioning to be a hand model.

Particularly bad is Dan Speaker who plays Admiral Murray, he is simply not an actor or shouldn't be. Second worse is Kelsey McCann who plays Elizabeth; she is very clearly a native product of California struggling (abysmally) to play an English débutante. Those two alone make it very, very difficult to keep watching the film. To be fair though, Kelsey does get a bit better as the film goes along, but not enough to merit her playing this role. The actor who plays Bram, Wes Ramsey, however does show potential. His acting is very natural and his accent quite realistic especially considering he was born in Louisville, Kentucky. He even manages to speak in a somewhat "lower-class" English dialect (a bit Cockney), which helps us understand the Admiral's objections to his marriage to Elizabeth who is from the upper classes.

The real crime though is committed by Feifer who has clearly not prepared his actors for their roles. I would doubt they did any rehearsal as each scene seems like the first time any of the actors have read the material. In fact, each scene seems like the first take he shot, as if Feifer is conserving film or a product of the Ed Wood school of film-making where the first take is the only take. The final sword fight in particular is a victim of this poor direction... it is pure camp, ridiculous and unrealistic. Count Dracula and the Admiral drone on and on, reciting the most inane dialog. The movie ends abruptly, with a sappy denouement.

Production however is one area which rises above. The sets and items like carriages seem authentic to the period. Some however are a bit out-of-place, for example the scene where Elizabeth seeks to leave Dracula's mansion and ends up in a hallway of stored crematory urns. It is clearly a modern crypt (an indoor cemetery). It looked to me like the Hollywood crypt I visited as a tourist many years ago. Still, many of the sets are very good. The costumes are by far the best element in this film, particularly considering the shoestring budget with which this movie was made. A couple of times there appears an anachronistic shirt collar and such, but overall the costume design is superior.

In different hands and with a better cast this story would have merit. It is one that hasn't been seen in the mainstream, although Coppola did direct the quintessential Bram Stoker novel, Dracula (a different story than this). The production designer has a lot to be proud of (as does the costumer) and lets hope we see more from Wes Ramsey, but the director should stick with low budget horror films.

Dracula wants to breed with Bram Stoker's girlfriend and Bram himself attempts to rescue her.

The other reviewers have trashed this movie and they're right - it's that bad. The great costumes and high production values fool you for a minute into thinking this is going to be good, but the awful acting and terrible screenplay tell the real story.

Dracula is a fat dude who looks like he spends all his time in his mother's basement, eating pizza and playing video games. The female lead is like your sexually repressed sister-in-law, only less interesting. When the two of them get together for a breeding session it's about as erotic as a visit to the dentist.

There's a serious lack of naked women in this movie, usually a staple of low budget horror, and something that could have made it worth watching. Sadly, it's an attempt by bad actors to do something serious, with predictably bad results.

As for horror, the only horrible thing about this film is that it was made. I've seen scarier things in a K-Mart on Christmas Eve.

It's not even so bad that you can have a good time making fun of it. Instead you'll be embarrassed for the actors and actresses; imagine your friends and family seeing you in this movie. There's the real horror.

This movie is SO bad that I can barely stop laughing! The worst accents, acting, costumes, soundtrack, oh, and the dumb and dumbest storyline anyone could ever conceive of! In some scenes you could see LA in the background, and even hear the traffic! The chubby guy who plays Dracula looks more like he'd be I interested in eating a slice of pizza than impregnating Elizababeth, which is apparently the only point of this otherwise pointless movie... As a prior reviewer said, this movie is like cheesy porn without the porn... The most hilarious and cringe-worthy scene is when Dracula is lying on top of Elizabeth after implanting her with his 'demon seed' and she says "I will thrust myself on a ?? (gate of??) spikes!" I initially thought she said "ancient spike" - sorry, the accent was so bad I couldn't make it out! Anyway, the thought of Dracula as an 'ancient spike' is probably right. Elizabeth: "He planted the seed of the beast within my body" Bram: "I will tear him limb from limb!" Enough said.

During Halloween we have a lot of scary movies on TV, it's always a lot of fun because I love horror. It's an adventure and an escape from the real world. Dracula is one of my favorite stories because he's such an interesting character, he's the only real monster that has personality. Because he has this image of being human, he's charming and you can easily be memorized by his charm while underneath he's a monster that wants to drain your body of blood and make you into his slave. Bram Stoker, I wonder if he ever knew how much impact his story would have to this day. But then again, I wonder if he knew what kind of crud some Hollywood producer would do to his material like they did with Dracula's Guest.

Even though it was a bit confusing, I'll try to explain the plot as best as I can. Bram Stoker and his fiancée Elizabeth, cannot wait to get married. But after her father sees Bram putting his arm around her and kissing her forehead(which I suppose was 3rd base at the time), he thinks they are not ready for marriage and that they should wait for a year to see if their love will stay strong and real. Bram agrees to please her father but Elizabeth hates the idea and runs away. Bram has gone to secure the Carfax Abbey for Dracula. While Elizabeth is on her way to find him, she meets Dracula and he kidnaps her to his castle. He rapes her, trying to breed with her to restore his family that has been cursed by her father's wars. Bram finds out that she has been kidnapped and now is on an adventure to save his love from the cursed count.

The acting and casting is just awful. You can tell these are the actors that are dying to get their big break and stop waiting tables. Especially Kelsey McCann who plays Elizabeth, possibly the worst British accent, up there with Keanu Reeves, and also probably took acting lessons from him as well. Andrew Bryniarskin who I will never understand why he was cast as he looks like a former heavy metal band member from the 70's. Not to mention his talking with the fangs was just so funny. Dan Speaker who plays Elizabeth's father is just laughable as his material is so cliché. The only redeeming quality was Wes Ramsey who played Bram and seemed to take the role seriously and work with what he was given.

I don't know if it was just the material, the movie or the cast, but everything about this film was just not redeemable. I don't know what I was expecting, but this is very possibly the worst Dracula movie of all time. It's not even a movie that you could say it's so bad that it turns into good again, just trust me this movie is frustrating. The plot has a lot of flaws and the cast makes this movie into a reason to take more acting lessons.

1/10