Ninja

So at one point, the leader of a cult that really has little bearing on anything in this movie proclaims, "We control the life blood of this planet!"

Wait, what? It's not just that it makes little sense. It makes no sense whatsoever. Not much of this movie does.

But hey, you want a tight plot that makes sense and gives you pause to think? Netflix "Glengarry Glen ****ing Ross." This ain't that.

You want to see a ninja cut a man's arm off with his ninja sword and the man goes "Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!" while blood spurts out of his stump, then this is the movie for you.

You want to see a stacked gravure idol as a dojo master's daughter who always needs to be saved just because she's a stacked gravure idol and even though she's a ninja, too, then this is the movie for you.

You want shurikens, poison blowgun darts, a ninja flying suit, and an SUV that rolls over and blows up spectacularly for NO FREAKING REASON, then this is the movie for you.

You want to see two ninjas have swordfight on the rooftop of a skyscraper with the Empire State Building in the background and you say, "This is the most awesomest thing ever!" in your best Peter Griffin voice, then babe, this is the ****ing movie for you.

You want sense? Read Jane ****ing Austen. You want ninjawesome, grab this baby, some chips and a Stella Artois and you're set for the night, brochacho.

After getting Ninja DVD sent from my uncle in Russia, I decided to watch this movie. But since there was quite a bit Japanese language being spoken and DVD had no English subtitles, I decided to watch it with a friend who is good at Japanese and is an action movie fanatic.

Now I will say this movie is not perfect, but as a action movie, and Ninja movies fan, I was thoroughly entertained nonetheless. on par with Blood and Bone in terms of entertainment value, falling just a little bit short from Undisputed 2(8.5/10) due to some of its little faults. But despite its faults, I love this film and will be watching it time and time again (actually although I gave both of them same grade, I like this movie slightly better than Blood and Bone, because of my favoritism of Ninja movies ).

I have been wanting to see a new ninja movie (that's good) for a long time, and I was impatiently waiting for this one to be released, seeing that it's a Nu Image/Millennium film (they make above average direct-to-DVD movies) and that it was to be directed by action expert Isaac Florentine. And I was overall satisfied. Granted, I could list some flaws, such as the fact the Boaz Davidson screenplay contains elements that will be familiar to those who have seen other ninja movies in the past, and it has the hero on several occasions dragging the female lead behind him despite the fact she's an accomplished fighter like him. But there's a lot more to like. The movie is slickly made, well-photographed and lit, and the chosen Bulgarian locations manage to pass off as New York (believe it or not!) The fight scenes are pretty brutal and exciting, resulting in some great splatter (though I wish the blood and gore had not been mostly done with CGI). Yes, this movie is far from great art, but if you are looking for ninja action, this movie delivers.

The highest praise I can heap upon Ninja is that there is absolutely no fat on this thing. It's lean and mean and gets right down to the point: ninjas! It's a scientific fact that ninjas are way cooler than pirates and robots combined. Even dead people know this to be true. That's why it's hard to even muster the energy to attempt to try to bag on a movie like Ninja. The script is flimsier than a leaf in a hurricane, the dialogue is spotty at best and trying to make sense of every plot detail just outs you as an unpatriotic ninja hater. What the movie does do well is show you ninjas killing the crap out of everyone on screen. Scott Adkins and Tsuyoshi Ihara have a hellacious final duel and everything leading up to it is paced faster than a one hundred yard dash. Let's be honest, you didn't have any interest in this movie for its stern position on global politics and the humane treatment of thoroughly owned ninja victims. You came here for ninja-on-ninja action. It's way better than Casper Van Dien's suckfest Mask of The Ninja and in my opinion slightly better than Ninja Assassin. It is not, however, better than Chris Lambert's The Hunted. That one is the high water mark for trashy non-Japanese ninja movies.

First let's get one thing straight! This is a genre movie. If you go into it thinking you are going to watch the Godfather then you are going to be disappointed. Scott Atkins delivers the goods big time as the hero ninja Casey further cementing him as a go to action guy. The moves this guy can do are out of this world. The story is pretty basic. An adopted American taken in and raised as a ninja. The fight scenes for the most part are beautifully done. Tsuyoshi Ihara is the real discovery of this movie. This guy should be getting some steady work. Now the bad stuff. The C.G.I. blood was cool in some parts, but over the top in others. The gliding with the wings could have been left out. The C.G.I. was a little over the top in the sword fights. I was also disappointed with the character Namiko. She was a little to frail for modern day women in action movies. Yes there are some cheesy lines, but that is part of the fun of these movies. The movie screams old school 80's movie, but in a good way. It ends up being a far superior film than Ninja Assassin and was made for a fraction of the cost. If you love action movies and hate the metro-sexual heroes that we get jammed down our throats every film then this is the movie for you. I hope we get to see more like this because this movie had my blood racing the entire time.