Kaminey Company

Quite possibly the silliest movie ever made. I'm pretty sure these guys set out to make the ultimate mindless action flick and they succeeded brilliantly IMO. I've never seen anything like it before. IMDb claims the budget was $20M, although that seems like quite a stretch. But there is about $1B worth of craziness in it. The makers didn't hold anything back - no restraint whatsoever and it's amazing. Anyone looking to be offended will be. Guaranteed. I've heard of people walking out of movies but this is the first time I ever saw it happen. I wonder if they asked for their $$$ back. I'm pretty sure the theaters are covered from giving refunds; there's fine print on the tix or something.

Anyway, the opening credits are in video game form, which I now realize was a signal. Viewers need to forget reality, not just suspend disbelief in that routine movie kind of way. These guys throw everything they can think of up on the screen and I kept wondering what drugs they were using during filming. Maybe all of them. Also, there's something to irritate everybody. I really mean that; I don't think any insult or stereotype or slur was left out. Nothing offensive was held back that I could notice, although I've led a sheltered life.

Now here's the switch: it's hilarious and I mean laugh-out-loud funny from start to finish. I saw scenes I never saw before or ever expected to see. It starts out so unbelievably crazy that it's actually shocking (sorry) and then just keeps it up and keeps it going for the entire flick. Dark Chocolate's elaborate eye-roll sequence is one for the ages and is worth the price of admission all by itself.

Here's how funny it is: SpikeTV showed it and of course had to make countless cuts: not just the copious female nudity but the language and graphic violence and so on. Anyway, with all that gone it was still incredibly funny and astounding and just totally insane. The ending was a set-up for a sequel, same way the first "Crank" was, but I honestly don't see how they can top this one. Maybe I'm wrong; I sure hope so but it seems to me that they deliberately made it as wild as possible and didn't hold anything back.

One last word: it's not for everyone. I promise you'll either absolutely love it or thoroughly despise it. There will be no in-between for this one.

Let me start off by defending my rating of this title. Really it's hard for me to rate a movie like this, it is directed right at me and my type of people. I can't help it that I like a movie like this, it's just the way it is.

Really this movie is a grind house movie in an era where grind house movies don't exist. It has everything that is unacceptable as entertainment in other movies...and yet you can't stop watching. It's for the most part, balls to the walls, insanity. It doesn't make sense. The reason I don't' mind...is that it's not trying to. It knows it's stupid and crazy. And it loves it. It's not trying to impress you. This is a movie that really took control of itself. Typically you'll have a movie with an a-b formula...this is a a-z formula with complete insanity and randomness filling in the interval. You know where the movie is going as soon as you start watching it, it's the ride that excites and keeps you watching.

In short, this movie has violence, action, nudity, homosexuality, disabilities, public indecency and racism. And I have to admit, I liked it.

The one problem I had with this movie is it started so crazy and hilarious that it kind of peaked in the middle. It was just so much that the rest didn't surprise you anymore. I still found it very enjoyable though, and would definitely add it to my collection.

Also I know this review sucks, but this movie is hard to give a serious review to. If you like movies that play out like a GTA video game mixed with a violent Japanese film...then watch it. Just have fun with it.

Crank 2: High Voltage practically begs to be passionately loathed by absolutely everyone, with the notable exception of antisocial teenage boys. Its rank, nihilistic tone is relentless and exhausting. The misogyny is benchmark horrendous. The acts of violence are brutal, frequent and often blatantly homoerotic. Its flippant. Its homophobic. Its vulgar. And it feels as much seething contempt for its own narrative coherence as it does for its few prominent female characters.

But there is something bracingly brilliant about it. Films this fearlessly unhinged simply do not get made any more, and thirty years ago this would've played, late at night, to packed houses for years on end, perhaps aptly bundled with the likes of John Water's Pink Flamingoes.

One fact that was suggested by the first Crank is set heroically in stone barely five minutes into its sequel - that directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor appear to be completely obsessed with pornography. There is a truly jaw-dropping amount of flesh on constant display, and the film's only female speaking parts belong to a prostitute and a stripper. This lends the film an air of uncomfortable, almost lavatorial sleaziness, until a bunch of actual porn stars turn up in the middle of a scene, starring as a bunch of disgruntled porn stars striking for better pay. Although it hardly passes as satire, it does seem like a sly dig in the direction of the producers that populate the Hollywood mainstream, who'd surely relish the opportunity to make films like this if only the bastard machine would let them. Balls-out exploitation it may be, but if any film lives up to cinema's ancient adage of providing its audience with relentless sex and violence, its this one.

The second half of the film is where it really flies, and chooses to disregard not only its own plot, but any care for the patience or expectations of its audience. It goes, essentially, mad. And for something that was clearly deranged in the first place, it'd be foolish for me not to offer up the only advice that will enable you to see exactly what I mean.

Go and see it.

Crank: High Voltage is one of the most insane, hyper-active, over-the-top, frenetic and crazy motion pictures I have ever seen. It is a video game with flesh-and-blood actors, a cartoon come alive. It is so over-the-top in fact, even more so than its predecessor, that it threatens to abandon Earth and exist in a totally different plane. You either like it or don't like it - I can see a lot of people being offended by the film, and that's not only because of its violent nature. There is everything - violence, sex, nudity, gore, language, crazy dialogue... it is not a movie for everyone. Me? I guess I liked it, - not as much as the first installment, mind you - but I think it was sometimes was too much. A film this crazy can eventually tire the viewer - it's no wonder, therefore, that it's a mere 85 minutes long.

Neveldine and Taylor's aim is simple enough: to make the movie as crazy and over-the-top as possible, inserting as many visual flourishes and unpredictable scenes as they can. Surprisingly enough, they succeed at this without making the movie too unbearable. Granted, the fact that all the action sequences are exaggeratedly hyper-kinetic and stylish means that they aren't particularly exciting, but at least they are amusing and outrageous, which means they entertaining in a totally different way from other action flicks. Most (if not all) of the film has been created in the cutting room floor, using quick cuts, shaky camera-work, subtitles, fantasy scenes featuring deformed, Godzilla-like versions of Chev and one of the bad guys, topless girls with guns, newscast segments, and more. It's all exaggerated and it doesn't make an ounce of sense, but it entertains in a very visceral and mindless way.

As usual, Jason Statham plays the straight guy very well. Despite all the craziness and confusion, he never seems lost or out-of-place which, all things considered, is quite an accomplishment. Amy Smart is also back from the previous movie - this time she has become a stripper - and plays her gratuitous, thankless role with gusto. As in the first installment, Chev and Eve engage in a public sex scene - this time in a horserace track. The rest of the performers don't appear for more than a handful of scenes, the only real standout being Bai Ling, not because she's good, but because even in a movie this over-the-top, she manages to give an irritatingly crazy performance. (If what she does can be called a "performance".) Her character is bothersome, annoying, and has definitely been given too much screen time. If a Crank 3 is ever made, she shouldn't return.

What else can be said about High Voltage? It's as cartoonish and unbelievable as these kinds of movies come, and I really can't see a way for Neveldine and Taylor to top themselves if a second sequel is ever made. Still, despite all its outrageousness, the film manages to entertain without feeling too vacuous although, admittedly, it is. It definitely is not high art, and the moment the end credits started to roll - after a very sudden and "wtf?" kind of ending - I felt somehow hollow, still trying to process what I had just seen. Was it a film, or a live-action video game? There is barely a plot, characters are ridiculously paper thin and secondary actors are either wasted - the late David Carradine - or used too much - Bai Ling. Crank 2 is by no means a good film in the traditional sense of the word, but since its relentlessness, humour and overall willingness to stretch the envelope as far as it can never bored me or offended me, then yes, I can recommend it. Not to everyone, mind you, but for those who think they can take this much insanity.

This is without a doubt one of the most insane films I have ever seen. I loved the first film and have been looking forward to the sequel. This one blows the mad-o-meter off the chart. I read on here somewhere Jason Statham was quoted saying something like…. "You ain't ever gonna get an Academy Award for doing Crank" Well I beg to differ; I think an award category should be created for making a film like this. It has similarities to the first film of course but that's what makes this film so enjoyable. Jason is superb as Chev Chelios again and had me laughing my ass off with his cockney slang and his superb stunts. One thing I will say, I took my wife with me to see this and all the way through the film she had that "Could this get anymore ridiculous" look on her face. Meanwhile I couldn't stop laughing at the fact that the more outrageous this film got, the more I found myself loving it. You know when they say "A roller-coaster ride of a movie". Well on this roller-coaster ride you ain't strapped into your seat, it has dozens of loops and it's faster than anything you have ridden in your life. You need to see this film. In fact scrub that, I will say this…Crank 2 falls into the "Things to do before you die" category. Go and see this now.