Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent

Film opens with the name CARNIVOROUS, tried to send IMDB a correction , but their form is beyond confusing and ridiculous. It's a good movie, story line for a B movie.

Another CGI monstrosity taking the form of a dodgy monster movie. These films tend to be interchangeable from one another and that's the case in point here, it's the kind of film you'll forget you watched just hours after viewing because it brings absolutely nothing new to the table.

Instead, the viewer is saddled with rotten characters, an awful script and of course the requisite CGI gore effects which have to be seen to be believed. The story involves some half-baked voodoo theme in which a grieving husband decides to get revenge on some pesky teenagers by summoning a 'Kulev serpent' to get revenge. Said serpent has the body of a giant snake and the head of an alligator and looks like something out of an old Playstation game circa 1998.

If that wasn't bad enough, the characters in the film are even more annoying than usual, with characterisation reduced down to the level of a comic book. One supposedly intelligent character has glasses, that's how carefully the characters have been created. Inevitably the cast is full of unknowns - I should think so, given the horrible acting on offer - aside from the down-on-his-luck DMX, playing some kind of big game hunter living out in the wilderness. Another movie to stay away from.

In the countryside, the boy Alan and his friend Becky steal a creepy wooden box with a powerful voodoo stick inside from his voodooistic neighbor. When the boy draws with the stick, his drunken father is attacked by a snake and vanishes. Years later, Alan (Louis Herthum) and Becky (Lisa Arnold) are married to each other; while planting some flowers to celebrate the death of Alan's mother, Becky finds the box buried in the garden and she keeps the stick in her pocket. Meanwhile, five shithead friends are traveling in the monster truck drinking beer. The driver accidentally runs over Becky, but believes he had hit an animal. When Alan witnesses the hit-and-run and sees his wife dead, he uses the stick seeking revenge against the youngsters. Later Alan regrets the use of the Kulev stick to bring Lockjaw to seek revenge and decides to help the teenagers to kill the serpent.

The lame "Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent" is a terrible movie, with a story that is a rip-off of the storyline of "Pumpkinhead" (a redneck that seeks revenge after the death of his wife (instead of son) by reckless teenagers from the big city) with a snake that recalls "Anaconda" with "Aligator" head. Most of the lines are laughable and near ridiculous and the CGI effects are very poor. My vote is three.

Title (Brazil): "Magia Negra" ("Black Magic")

I'd give Lockjaw 1 star purely because IMDb will not allow me to rate it any lower. 1 star is being extremely generous. The whole film is terrible with wooden acting throughout, at times it's too painful for words. In addition you have to endure the lack of continuity that runs from beginning to end. As if the horrendous special effects don't make it unbelievable enough.

I would seriously not recommend this film if time is remotely precious to you. It's an hour you'll never get back and will leave you questioning why on earth it ever made it to DVD. It cost £7 here in the UK which is absolutely shocking. I like cheesy horror films that manage to be awful but good at the same time. This can't even claim to be that, it is just genuinely one of the most ridiculously dire films I have ever seen.

A group of bratty, narcissistic kids venture into the deep swamps of West Bumblef&%k to go camping. These morons wind up running over the wife of a guy (whom we saw in the prologue mess around with a voodoo stick and unleashes a demon snake with an alligator head that killed his father) So after the jerks do their little hit and run, the guy,in a fit of rage, draws the snake/alligator thing eating the SUV they're in. So naturally the demonic thing attempts to kill them one by one. Thus making the film longer then it needs to be. Oh yeah and DMX is in it very sporadically. Despite top-billings it's merely slightly more then a glorified cameo.

Part killer snake flick, part "Pukinhead", ALL bad. I haven't been this bored or this mad at a so-called 'movie' in quite some time. This one has absolutely no redeeming values, bad wooden acting, atrocious special effect, the lamest dialog you're liable to hear in quite some time and an incredibly anti-climatic ending. It left a really horrid taste in my mouth. I've seen so many killer animal films and can safely say this was one of the worst.

My Grade: F

DVD Extras: A meager stills gallery (almost half of it devoted to DMX and his bazooka); trailer for this film; and trailers for Dark Reel, Baseline Killer, & Ghost Month