As They Made Us

First off, I am not a Mayim Bialik fan, as a person. But that has nothing to do with her talent in the writing, directing, producing area of this film. I am glad I didn't know it was so much her when I started to watch it - otherwise I am afraid my prejudices against her would have kept me from viewing a really good movie.

This is about the complexity of a messed up family - and what family isn't totally messed up? And this family has made it an art form.

It has 2 great actors, Dustin Hoffman and the ever surprising Candice Bergen and a further ensemble of younger ones orbiting Hoffman and Bergen.

So, if you can handle some rough family dynamics (normal), give it a go.

Not every person deserves to be a parent - some just don't have what it takes to be one, let alone to be good at it. And it's mostly true what they say that we reflect our parents, their behavior, mannerisms and character almost to the core when it comes to us being all grown up and trying to find ourselves in the world outside of our families. I know my family is not perfect and my parents sure as hell are not perfect either but they did their best to raise me, to bring me up and show me the way to live and I would always be grateful for it, that I turned out just as they made me (plus some extra time on my own of course).

As they made us saw the directorial debut of Mayim Bialik, more commonly known as Amy on The big bang theory and I have to admit she made quite a drama there, and wrote it too. This movie saw her reunite with her sitcom colleague Simon Helberg in the role of estranged son who couldn't put up with bullying and being treated badly by his parents so he decided to cut them off of his life completely. The problem was that his sister couldn't.

I've seen Dianna Agron only in Glee and she showed some potential there but here he went full speed ahead and turned himself into this strong middle aged woman who is torn between her sick father and even sicker mother and her own family of two kids, an ex-husband and a life that she could have had regarding those circumstances. The story is written well enough for us to see through the character and feel her pain, this long lasting misery she carried throughout her whole life but it nevertheless seems superficial and bland at times, as if trying to be a tearjerker even in the moments it's not needed.

Candice Bergen and Dustin Hoffman play second fiddle here and they don't steal the show from the main characters but I wish they would. They've been given characters we are supposed to relate to, as most of the families are messed up just like theirs, but this familiarity fades as the movie progresses and in the end it leaves you guessing and doubting every decision, every line every character makes or speaks which feels unrelatable while being relatable at the same time.

It seems to me like this movie tries really hard to be so many different things: a family drama, an issue of fathers and sons, problems of neglected children and its consequences, trying not to end up like your parents, even a small portion of homophobia is in there too but it ends up being nothing of the above, too shallow to be a character drama and too positive to be a full fledged tragedy. For a person known for her comedic skills Mayim as a serious artist has made a great step forward but I do believe her better days are ahead.

However, very hard to watch. Brilliant acting. True to life, extremely heartbreaking. Keeps you there through the entire film. Recommended if you can handle the filming of human pain and what families do to one another.

Not terrible, simply lacking in good acting performances by all the other (mediocre) actors, who usually only would star in cheap tv series, but now get to act alongside the brilliant Dustin Hoffman, who delivers another stellar performance. Candice Bergen is great as well, but it is such a disappointment to watch all these other cheap tv actors ruin a good story.

A good first effort Ms. Bialik !

A quadruple dose of mental illness!

How do you break the family cycle?

Is it part of our DNA?

The credits posted that the story and characters were fictitious but many will identify with the family estrangement - necessary for self-care , the care and responsibility of our aging parents and conflicts we face with them.

The acting was good and ending seemed encouraging and hopeful.