Albino Farm

Well, I must say it was more than I expected- what a title! A quick description would be a mash-up of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Hills Have Eyes. This is classic low budget horror flick that ticks all the boxes for clichés(- see Scream!). The storyline is simple, four teenagers happen upon The Albino Farm and then the horror begins.

I won't say all the acting was bad- I'll just say not everyone was bad. In fact both the female performances were stellar- esp. semi nude scene- which was blatantly a body double. It kept me watching. I will admit the film was so bad that I stopped it playing twice. Maybe it was the shame of realising I actually wanted to know where this tripe was going or it may have been anger- that someone actually made this for my enjoyment.

Was it worth watching? It might be better than watching nothing. I've seen much worse than this.

What could've been a very crafty and very intelligent piece of horror turns into a very formulaic and very familiar piece of the slasher film genre we see far too much of. Albino Farm's premise is interesting, but the execution is very poor, and we can see the movie struggle to maintain its short eighty-five minutes by delaying action until around forty minutes in.

Albino Farm takes forever to get going, and when it does, you only wish it had more to offer. The film focuses on four teenagers (Sursok Lagano, Richey, and Bala) who venture out to document the Ozark Mountains for a school project. When the duo get a flat, they head out to a gas station with a strange, unsettling owner who warns them to turn back. One of the dumbest, cockiest, lame-brained teenagers in recent memory convince the gang to travel up to see what the hype is about.

They stumble across the town of Shiloh, which looks like a ghost-town. They learn that many of the town folk fear a legend called "Albino Farm." The teens split up with two going in search of the farm, and two going in search of a church. After doing the genius thing of getting picked up by a hick and two identical twins, they are taken out and abandoned at the Albino Farm. Let the horror movie clichés, jokes, antics, and chase scenes begin.

I believe this film is based off of the legend of a group of College students adventuring around the Ozark Mountains and never returning home. Either this is the legend itself, or a followup to it. Whatever it is, it is poorly executed.

Low budget horror films can't be critiqued by their budget. What you have it what you have, and I believe I shouldn't penalize the producers, directors, etc for working with what they had. I can respect that. But so much is done poorly. In order to believe the characters, you have to throw logic out the window. What makes you want to venture out to the deep part of the Ozarks in the first place? Curiosity kills the cat, and when you stumble upon creepy woods, it's likely to kill you as well.

The sound editing is messy. One point there is dead silence, the next moment the bass almost blows your speakers followed up by very dim talking. Your remote may need to be in your hands at all times for this. Not to mention, the pitch dark lighting may call for a brightness tune up. What a temperamental film. You need to pretty much modify everything on your TV to be satisfied while watching Albino Farm.

This also seems to be influenced by every redneck-slasher film on the market today. Throw three great horror films like The Hills Have Eyes, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Wrong Turn in a blender and it'll spit out this mediocre horror flick. Creativity is here, but the execution is like a dog on a leash fighting to inch itself closer to its desired destination while the owner is tugging back. Imagine the producers as the owner, the movie itself as the dog, and the destination being "typical redneck film schlock." There's a metaphor that will sum this up.

The makeup effects is where this film starts to redeem itself in quality. The effects on the creatures are realistic, but then the film wants to add some digital effects on some of the people. You can pretty much do that on any free editing system, and do it a lot better. Not being a Mac user, I still am sure this can be done one way or another on the Photo-booth program that comes free with the computer. They can do that, but they can't add some sort of effect to brighten up the scenery.

I can tell the crew were serious about making this film like the legend or something close to it. They didn't fall on their neck as much as they fell on their face in their attempts with this. Albino Farm, still, could've been great b-movie horror. What we have here, is just lazy editing and a lazy script ripping off so much of every other movie in its genre. It's a copy of a copy.

Starring: Chris Jericho, Richard Christy, Tammin Sursok, Duane Whitaker, Alicia Lagano, Nick Richey, and Sunkrish Bala. Directed by: Joe Anderson and Sean McEwen.

Four students head to the southern backwoods populated by freaky rednecks for a school project but stupidly seek out Albino Farm, a place where some seriously deformed looking hicks live. If you have seen any of the Wrong Turn movies then you know what to expect, only this one is far worse than the worst of those. The students are not only annoying characters but they are played by people who clearly cannot act. The freaks themselves do look pretty scary, however the picture is very dark and it is often difficult to see what is happening, which isn't much to be fair. Nowhere near as gory as the Wrong Turn movies, this is a very poor movie.

This has been on cable late at night and I finally sat and watched it all tonight. Creepy horror movie and the acting is NOT bad. 3 out of 4 of the main characters have impressive Hollywood resumes so these actors are not no talent bimbos. This movie is actually watchable.

Simple story about 4 young adults that go looking for an "albino farm" in a town full of hillbilly's and misfits. They run across a seemingly nice old lady who tells them stories about the town but it turns out she is just as weird as the whole town. Make-up on the creatures is good and this movie is not cheesy like many of the genre. Script is not stupid either and somewhat believable.

If you are up at night and see it come on, watch it.

After you have seen so many horrors and become some how addicted, you wouldn't mind watching a below average horror movie because you just wanna sit and watch something that's supposed to be horrifying. This movie has nothing new at all. It's everything else u've seen; Wrong Turn, House of Wax, the hills have eyes, the devil's ground, etc...

There is no single element of surprise in the movie but it's still a horror movie that only has a new title and you are so addicted to horrors that you wouldn't mind watching.

Gotta admit it though, that there is no horror scenes at all! There are some not good horror movies but which at least have one or two good scenes. Not this one though.