The Legend of Hercules

In 1200 B.C. Greece, King Amphitryon conquers Argos by killing its ruler. Queen Alcmene is tired of his constant war. Hera allows her to have a baby with Zeus who would grow up to be the half-God champion Hercules (Kellan Lutz). He falls in love with Princess Hebe of Crete but his jealous older half-brother Iphicles announces his marriage to her. Hercules is sent to Egypt where he is set up for an ambush and sold into slavery.

The opening fight is slightly interesting. It tries to be 300 but it's not as good. It starts out as a cheaper version of that style. That would be fine but it only gets worst from there. Kellan Lutz comes in and the muscle-bound dude is not charismatic enough to lead. The action style becomes cheaper and weaker. This Greek epic story has never seem less compelling.

It is absolutely shocking that this movie came out in today's market. The dialog was horrible: cliché and predictable. The entire film was, in fact, predictable. We saw the previews, we went to the film, and about ten minutes in we knew it was bad. We gave it a chance, hoping it would get better, that it would redeem itself in some way. It did not. It got worse. If you are just looking for an entertaining film, this is a major disappointment, to say the least. Obvious special effects, slow motion for every other move in every fight scene, and terrible, I mean tragic, dialog. If you are a fan of Greek mythology, it's downright offensive. Don't waste your time or your money.

Step aside, Kevin Sorbo, we have a new man for the role of Hercules and his name is Kellan Lutz. If you have no idea who Mr Lutz is, check out his appearances in the Twilight instalments.

Anyway back to The Legend of Hercules. As the title suggests, this is an origin story that sets up the demigod character. Despised by his father King Amphitryon (Scott Adkins) since the day he was born, Hercules - the son of Zeus and Queen Alcmene (Roxanne McKee) - is sent to war after failing to elope with his true love, Princess Hebe (Gaia Weiss). King Amphitryon favors his elder son, Iphicles (Liam Garrigan); unfortunately he is not warrior material let alone lead a kingdom and winning the heart of Princess Hebe. As fate would have it, Hercules survived the war and returns to reclaim his love and kingdom from the wrath of King Amphitryon.

The poster reads From the director of Cliffhanger and Die Hard 2 - it's unfortunate they forgot to add in the fact that both were movies from more than twenty years ago, and Renny Harlin's directing career has long been sunk by a certain Cutthroat Island. Let's face it; The Legend of Hercules isn't going to resurrect Harlin's status in Hollywood anytime soon.

While similarly themed movies such as 300, Immortals and Clash of the Titans are known more for their visual aesthetics than storytelling, The Legend of Hercules failed miserably on both accounts. Filmed entirely in Eastern Europe because of cheaper costs and taxes, Harlin's movie mimics the feel and look of its predecessors while pretending to strip down to the grittiness of that era. However every single set piece looks like a cheap knock-off, right down to the CG extensions - case in point, one seriously fake looking puppeteer lion looks even worse than that in cable series Spartacus and Rome.

Written by at least four credited writers (one of them from the terrible Conan the Barbarian remake and Harlin himself), it is such a shame that the supposedly mythology-inspired story instead resembles Ridley Scott's Gladiator more than anything - if you recall, Maximus, was also betrayed and sold to slavery but made a comeback for revenge. We didn't realize that the legendary Greek hero Hercules actually ventures on the same path until now.

Unimaginative plotting aside, the movie suffers from incredible clunky, modernized dialogue peppered with a variety of British and American accents and awful delivery from the actors. With the exception of McKee and Adkins (surprisingly turning in a solid performance), most of the cast members - especially Lutz - needs to sign up for advanced acting classes. Minus off all the disemboweling, limb and head severing and bloodshed you normally would have expect from such a theme (an obvious attempt to lure in younger audiences), The Legend of Hercules quickly dissolves into a predictable yawn fest.

It's a tad disappointing that a movie about a demigod with incredible strength fares without emotion and plays like generally a mere paint-by- number adventure. Comparing to the 1997 animated feature by Disney, this one is hardly worth the time.

Let me start off by saying I am a huge fantasy fan. I can usually enjoy any swords and sorcery type film and find something good about it. Now let me say Wow this movie was bad. I mean I thought this kind of clumsy, lowest common denominator filmmaking died in the 80's. It is bad when I asked the organizer to give me a refund on a free prescreening.

Where to begin? I don't expect much in this type of movie in terms of plot or characterization. In action "porn" like this, the plot is usually just barely coherent enough to move from one action sequence to the next and the characters are as black and white as a chessboard. This movie somehow delivers LESS than that.

It is staggering to me that with a mythology as rich and engaging to draw from, they choose a tired rehashing of Gladiator as the main focus of the film. No doubt holding the more interesting material back for future sequels. The laughable love story is unengaging, poorly scripted and given far too much screen time.

What really disappoints is the action sequences. Hercules is supposed to be a demigod that achieves the impossible; the movie portrays none of this. It wastes a good deal of time with a clumsy mix of fighting scenes in which Hercules is repeatedly captured and/or defeated. WTF? It is only towards the end that an attempt is made to show Hercules as he should be seen, but I had tuned out long before then.

Oddly enough, the blood and gore in this film is kept to a minimum, probably to keep it at PG-13 in hopes of duping the largest possible audience to drop money on it. It would have really benefited from a Conan-esque level of violence to give the movie more weight and better directed action sequences. The dramatic pause in the middle of the action (made famous in the movie 300) is in every single action sequence.

I really don't know what I recommend from this film. Everything in the movie has been done better in other films. I hope this film tanks but I doubt it. It will make a profit and encourage more of the same I'm sure.

Absolutely Average and Below in Every Way, this by the Numbers Filmmaking from a Very Inconsistent Director is so Unremarkable that it Barely Exists and is in Danger of Fading from Memory So Fast that the Mythology of Hercules is Safe.

This is Not Awful, Not Good, Not Much of Anything. It just Sort of Lies there with Nothing to Say, Attract Attention or be Concerned About. The Acting is Across the Board Boring. The Story is Unfaithful to its Source Material and the Story being Told is so Familiar and Stale that even Youngsters will be Disappointed.

It is Disposable and Dull with that Old PG-13 Curse of Banality and Yawn Inducing Action Scenes (that are worse when dealing with swords, spears, and Gladiator type mayhem) that the Battles are Rendered War Weary from the Outset.

Overall, Not the Worst Thing ever, but if You are Going to Watch it, do it Soon before it Ceases to Exist like the Pools of Sweat from a Strenuous Workout.