Bad Meat

This 2011 comedy horror film is brought to us by director Lulu Jarmen on her debut, and it comes from the mind of Paul Gerstenberger. 6 bad teens (3 boys and 3 girls) are sent to a bootcamp which is in the middle of nowhere. The bootcamp specialises in reforming bad/troubled teenagers into model citizens. It is run by Doug Kendrew (Mark Pellegrino) and his nasty wardens. One night the chef cooks up some bad meat which that staff all eat. The food makes them seriously ill, and an additional side effect it turns them into flesh-eating zombie like maniacs. From there on in the film become about survival for the teens as they try to avoid being put on the menu themselves. Some of the zombie-wardens are outright feral, some are S&M gimps stalking the kids. There is lots of bloodshed, plenty of gore, and a lot of vomiting too.

The premise of the film is not something new - it combines summer camp slasher, cannibal zombies, hillbillies, hostel, hunter vs hunted chases, and some typical American "kids will save the day" concepts. It COULD have been quite good, albeit tongue in cheek at times - but it wasn't. The problem I had with it was that it was hard to watch for the wrong reasons. The pace of the film did not work, the editing was shocking, and despite building up certain in-film events, NOTHING is resolved because the film just ends abruptly. The acting was not much to write home about either, this is due to the poorly conceived stereotypical characters being portrayed. I gave this film a chance because of the synopsis I read about it, and because Mark Pelligrino is amusing in the Supernatural TV series. Yes, one of the Franco brothers is in the film, but it is not one of the more interesting ones and he certainly does not have much of a role in this. Unfortunately, the film turned out to be a let-down.

I think, given more time and more investment this film might not have been that bad. Due to the production issues it had though, the film ended up being one that will be remembered for the wrong reasons, rather than being an underground cult classic. Yes, plenty of gore. No, to much else. Pity.

And now, just the like the end of film did, I'm going to... (drops mic - walks away)

A group of wayward teenagers are sent to a boot-camp by their parents to teach them a lesson. The people running it are complete nutters and ridiculously unsavoury characters. I don't know why they're even running the boot-camp or how.

The kids are all cliché characters, irritating and unlikable. The acting is pretty terrible as is the script.

There is emphasis on what the staff running the camp are eating and the fact that they viciously kill a dog who won't stop barking. The film shows a random scene of two of the staff members having a bizarre sexual encounter and then becoming violently ill. Vomit in the grossest form is literally everywhere.

The staff then turn into crazed zombies and chaos ensues somewhat like a carry on film. It's all very silly and pointless. There is a survivor in the hospital that the film keeps cutting to who is basically a bloody, dripping mess covered in bandages. Who this person is, why, how etc... is not found out.

Well, to be honest the story of troubled youth going to some camp has been done tons of times. But, this one had a twist, but I shall get to that in a minute. I actually liked all of the youth characters. Each one of them had a unique personality, and of course there had to be some machismo with at least two of the guys. I mean, it's a bit cliché, but it really worked on this film. I really liked that there was a character that was brought up with high spiritual convictions, but thought they were a lesbian. There were three girls in the film. The ultra "Christian" the in the middle understanding one, but with a totally jacked up mind from her childhood experiences. This is the one I call the "silent but deadly" type, one you didn't want to get on your bad side. Then of course there is the mean "bad ass" girl who thinks she can take on the world, hates everyone, and who is the catalyst that sparks negativity throughout the film. My favorite character was the one Franco played. In my opinion, he was the most believable. The camp director was a Hitler wannabe, the other guards were sexual deviants who were just there to fulfill some sick sexual urges, and to be mean to kids.

Once the turning point happened to where the guards "turned" into what ever it was that they were supposed to be, that's when the movie became completely STUPID. Bad Meat had me up until then, and after that...no thank you. Also, the patient in the hospital, they really screwed that up, first off with the horrible acting, and secondly, it really made no sense.

This movie is nasty and dirty cheap, little horror flick, so nasty you would want to shower after watching it. It's super fun though, because it's so silly and over the top and actors are quite decent. Characters are mostly caricatures and over the top but still somehow done well. It's bad but it seems to be bad on purpose and it's fairly watchable.

However, it seems to be cut and it just suddenly ends with no answers. It's like they run out of funds or just didn't know how to end it or they wanted to leave us guessing. Whatever it was, I bet no one was happy with that ending.

Who was the survivor? Was that even human as no one could survive in that state, especially when we see what we saw at the ending? What happened to all involved? It just stopped.

This movie had interesting potential. It was an all-encompassing horror hybrid of summer camp slasher, zombie, hillbilly cannibal, horror comedy etc. And then, as multiple people have pointed out, the movie abruptly wraps up DURING the climax with a slapped on montage that resolves nothing. Terry Gilliam and David Lynch have made good movies out of unfinished pieces, but not these jokers.

The basic plot is six teens sent to military school. Three male, three female. We get bits and pieces of their stories, but it doesn't matter because they have no resolution. Dave Franco is the only thing resembling a star and as usual he gets no screen time. He spends most of the movie locked in a box. Somebody wrapped in bandages purporting to be him frames the movie, but it looks like they got a woman to play him. The military school is run by Nazi kinksters and this provides some elements of humor. A mistreated hillbilly cook gets revenge by giving the counselors food poisoning, which leaves them crazily sick for what seems like half a day and then suddenly turns them into cannibal zombies, who sort of act like cats. In spite of the fact that we've seen the meat being poisoned and fed to the counselors, the movie spends ten minutes of plot having an emo biology student cut apart a dog to discover the cause. In a normal movie, he might also discover a cure or something to bring the film to a resolution, but that does not happen. Much time is spent on attempting to find keys to free Dave Franco. Whether and how these keys are used remains a mystery. There's some intrigue and tensions and attempts at character building between the campers, and it's all a waste of time.

It is actually a shame this movie is not 20 minutes longer or could not use its 80ish minutes better. They could have had something, but there is no payoff. And there was no artistic purpose for a lack of payoff. They simply lost film or lost funding.

And what is the conspiracy not to give Dave Franco screen time, even in a movie with no stars? It's bewildering.