Universal Soldiers

... 1 out of 10 is way to much for this film.

Where to begin, of where to begin! The acting is the worst I've ever seen, I remember my friends and myself acting better when we played "war" when we were like 5 years old. The image is really really bad. Special effects can hardly be called effects at all. But the most horrifying must be the sound. When the actors are outdoors, every 16 seconds you hear the same bird - ALL throughout the film! If they are inside, it's the same "mainframe" sound over and over again.

Seriously, if you ever get the chance to watch this movie, you should. This is by far the worst movie I ever saw, and that is an experience like no other.

ps: maybe I missed some, but I think the F*** word is said about a gazillion times in this film!

If a negative vote would be possible, I surely would give one to this film. It's bad dialogue, bad acting and NO story at all. I'm not a big fan of Jean Claude Van Damme but I liked the first 'Universal Soldier' film. The second was OK. But this one is just horrible. It's not even useful as background noise while doing chores. I was waiting for nearly 15 Minutes for the story to begin. Then another Charakter showed up and the badness began. My first thought was 'who wrote this garbage?'. My second thought was 'I have to warn people not to watch this cr...p'. When I came to IMDb I saw that other people already did that, but I'm writing a commend anyway. Do yourself a favor and don't watch it (many other comments here already said that - listen to them). You would have more fun pulling your teeth.

This film is terrible. Truly awful. However, watched with friends whilst drinking it becomes one of the funniest films I have ever seen.

The acting is stupendously bad. The Storyline is non-existent. The Marines are the most incompetent people in the world. The special effects are laughable. The music is bad..very bad. I could go on and on...

BUT WAIT! This film is terribly (empahsis on terribly) amazing for the following:

The black guy - He is unintentionally hilarious! From his screaming down the radio, to his "fall-out" line when their not even falling out. But for me, the greatest piece of cinema I have ever seen in my life was when he did his super marine roll through the air for no reason whatsoever. It has to be seen to be believed.

All in all, don't watch this film is you expect some kind of masterpiece. Only watch it when intoxicated and with friends.

Maybe I need to re-order my bottom 5 Asylum movies, because Universal Soldiers is deserving of a spot there. You can really tell how low on budget the film was, the editing is the choppiest of any film I've seen in a while, while the scenery is dully lit and the effects are incredibly fake-looking, most of them don't even look like what they were meant to be. Even the props are bad, there was one that looked as though it was made of wood but seeing as the prop broke it could as well have been made of the cheapest plastic anybody could find. The music is repetitive, has no momentum whatsoever and actually feels dated, while the sound effects verge on bizarre, some even are repeated over and over again. The script is stilted and feels too talky often, while the story is so thin in structure and so ponderous in pace that you question whether there is one at all and when there is the all too few signs of one it's predictably done. The characters are annoying and are never developed, while the acting from everybody involved reads of everybody just improvising in a very bored way on screen. Overall, Universal Soldiers is an awful film that has no life to it. 1/10 Bethany Cox

For those that think that the Asylum only puts out crappy Z-rated excruciatingly bad horror films, like such stinkers as "Halloween Night", "Massacre at Cutter's Cove", and "Snakes on a Train", you'd be dead wrong as they also put out crappy Z-rated excruciatingly bad sci-fi films like this one. Despite the title, this has absolutely NO relation to the Universal Soldier films, and owes much much to Predator and terminator (not to tarnish either of those two classics by comparison trust me). Anyways in this putrid little number, a group of the most highly ineffectual members of the military since "Hills have Eyes 2" are stalked by the lamest looking Borg-wanna be cyborgs that I've ever seen. Most of the film the enemy is off-screen, substituted by lame-ass predator-vision so it relies on the characters whom are all cliché boring cardboard cutouts that you truly don't care if they live or die. The ending in particular is so laughably atrocious that one can't help but feel their brain liquefying just by viewing it.

My Grade: F