Bullet Proof

No less than 30 reviews were posted on June 14, 2022. All them rated this movie a 10. Yet when I submit this, I'll be sent an email stating that some admins are going to parse mine before it's posted. I gotta chuckle outta that.

Alright, so we all know there are a handful of movies out of the tens of thousands that have been produced in the history of film that actually rate a 10. This ain't one of them.

This is one of the better Vinnie Jones films out of everything that's been released over the past decade. He does "Vinnie Jones" in this pretty well. In a lot of the others he seems to force the character. What else is he going to do? He's been typecast into the role.

Aside from nothing being original, from the script, the soundtrack, and the cinematography, it at least was a smooth ride from beginning to end. There were no noticeably huge plot holes, and the continuity of the film seemed bang on.

Not too deep, paced to keep me interested, I guarantee you've seen worse.

Story - 0.50 :: Direction - 1.00 :: Pacing - 1.25 :: Performances - 1.00 :: Entertainment - 1.25 TOTAL - 5/10

Not every film needs to stimulate the mind. Some merely need to deliver car chases, gunfire, and Vinnie Jones doing his best impression of a man who has just been cut off at the bar. This is that film.

The plot is action-movie paint-by-numbers: an unnamed anti-hero steals from a deranged crime boss, unknowingly picks up said boss's pregnant wife, and suddenly finds himself pursued by a madman with no moral compass and a deep personal investment in retrieving his family and fortune. Cue the requisite chaos, violence, and a shadowy hitman named "The Frenchman" because, of course, there is.

The writing, courtesy of Cooper Bibaud, Danny Mac, and James Clayton, is nothing if not predictable. The characters are stock action figures: the reluctant hero, the unhinged villain, the enigmatic assassin. Originality is nowhere to be found, but at least James Clayton's direction injects some energy into the proceedings. His use of tempo shifts and creative camera angles make the relentless action more engaging than it has any right to be.

As for performances, Vinnie Jones reigns supreme, which is another way of saying that the acting is functional at best. He glares, he growls, he explodes into violence; he is every Vinnie Jones character ever, and honestly, that is half the fun. The rest of the cast do their best with what they are given, but with characters this thinly drawn, their efforts can only go so far.

Is it good? Not really. Is it entertaining? Absolutely. This is cinematic junk food: it will not nourish the mind, but it will satisfy that craving for mindless mayhem.

Maximum a 3, if you don't care about stupid scenarios or even stupider characters. I kept watching expecting a few decent scenes, but no. It kept getting worse. I had to stop half way to calm my nerves. What a waste. Skip.

This film makes absolutely no sense, the script was rubbish, the direction was rubbish and the actors (Vinny Jones aside) were rubbish. I don't get how other people have rated this higher than a 3, let alone the 10s that fooled me into watching this tripe.

I will forever avoid films 'directed' by James Clayton from here on. He's definitely 'one to watch' in the future alright....but not in a good way.

There's a radio button that appears while I write this review which asks if what I'm writing contains spoilers...I'm afraid it does, "This film is T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E". Sorry, but unless you're related to anyone producing this film, I can't see why anyone would want to watch this. This really is up there with one of the worst films I've ever seen....and I've watched a load of turkeys.

...to be said about this. Absolutely terrible. Poor script and script direction, some awful acting and a story thats about as original as Vinnie Jones' look.

Not sure whether Clayton should stick to acting or directing, or, maybe even find himself a new vocation.

Tell me Mr Clayton - what's the need for a cigarette throughout the film?

A movie to avoid.