Brutal Massacre: A Comedy

Alright, so I've been dying to see this movie. Stoked about the, "who's who" in horror land that are in the film....well, my friend rented this, brought it over, and we started watching it. It's supposed to be a comedy....I did not smirk even ONCE, until the 40min mark.

Does it have to do with the budget? Not at all, in fact, there's films out there that cost CLOSE TO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, and they're amazing (to me anyways). Also, while watching this film, I couldn't help but realize the similarities (i.e., STEALING) to a low budget indie film titled, "ACTRESS APOCALYPSE", read my review about it (it DESTROYS this film BTW).

This film...it had potential it really did. It had the "star power", stolen plot (lets film the behind the scenes of the making of a movie...IE..."ACTRESS APOCALYPSE"....seriously, this angers me the more and more I think about),...it really could've been funny. A LOT, A LOT of the jokes fall flat. The acting is alright for what it is. But it dragged on, wasn't funny, and the plot was totally stolen.

I give this a two, because it wasn't SOOO AWFUL, but that's the ONLY reason.

Well, a 'comedy horror' film really can go one of two ways; either down the pan, or just sit on the edge of the pan. Surprisingly, I found myself laughing, and then laughing some more. Shot in mockumentary style, BM follows the travails of director and crew in the shooting of yet another horror film by a failed director. The acting is tight, the shots well put together, and the laughs keep coming. For what it is, it's pretty good. if it weren't a spoof, it would be cringeworthy, as a spoof, it is well made, and funny!

Harry Pandarecki has made some good films... well, maybe one. And a slew of really, really bad ones. With funding getting more difficult to procure, we follow him on his one last chance for greatness. This mockumentary, following the film "Brutal Massacre" from scouting to filming to completion, is somewhere between horror and comedy, really missing the point of either.

Fangoria magazine called this the "Spinal Tap" of horror films. And, sure, there are some parallels. But "Spinal Tap" was witty and just plain funny, whereas this film strains to get a good joke across. With Fangoria's Tony Timpone featured in the film, as well as the magazine, it's no surprise they'd endorse this one. There's even a 40% coupon for a subscription in the box. Thanks, Tony, but you keep shilling for failures and what little credibility you have left will be lost.

I saw a twenty minute preview of this film presented by Ellen Sandweiss and Brian O'Halloran. I spoke with both of them later that night while drinking some tasty beers, and they're some very friendly cats. But, sadly, the only part of the preview that was funny was Gunnar Hansen, and this is an accurate description of the movie. Five minutes of laughs, ninety minutes of boredom. If it weren't for all the topless scenes, I don't know if I would have made it through the film on my first try without intestinal distress.

I look forward to meeting O'Halloran again. As I say, he's a cool cat and has made some great films. This is not one of them. Even the lines he ad-libbed (the Amazon jungle rant, for example) just weren't all that clever (and I don't blame him for this... he shouldn't have to pick up the slack of the actual writers) and his talents were wasted on this production. It was great to see Sandweiss, Hansen, Ken Foree... Mick Garris shows up briefly. So they knew what sort of genre people to get the attention of horror fans. Unfortunately, the writer and director (Stevan Mena, "Malevolence") just didn't have the skills to make this what it could have been. For a horror mockumentary, see "Behind the Mask" and leave this one for a last resort.

I got it off Netflix, and I'm glad I didn't pay for it. I think making fun of the horror genre, both it's creators and it's fans (with the Fangoria convention bits), could produce a LOT of funny material. This seemed to be lacking that. It had it's funny moments, but I didn't laugh out loud much. I laugh more during Spinal Tap/Best In Show/A Mighty Wind/etc, which this seemed to try and replicate but couldn't. The story was fairly predictable, I saw what was going to happen next a mile away. Really, the most enjoyable part was picking out actors from their other work (cameos from recognizable genre actors from films such as Dawn of the Dead, Evil Dead, and the always-beloved low-budget Clerks). It was worth the time of watching it, but I'm glad I watched it alone. I might have felt as if I wasted someone's time if I watched it with a group.

This is like the Bowfinger for horror movies. A has-been horror director who still has followers because of his early "hits" like I'll Take the Ring Back and the Finger Too, is directing his latest project, Brutal Massacre. Lo and behold! A documentary is being made at the same time. Not only is the script of Brutal Massacre iffy but the crew and cast are IFFY. This is funny and silly and topical, a perfect movie for covid lockdown here in 2020.