The Chosen One

It's as if everyone in the film was acting in a comedy... except Rob Schneider, who played it totally straight. Not straight in a funny way like he was the straight man in a comedy. I mean he played it straight, as if he were in a serious drama. My reactions were; confusion, disappointment, irritation... and finally... well, after finally seeing that Rob was doing a darn fine job of dramatic acting (even though this was marketed as a comedy) I fast forwarded to the end, then ejected the DVD.

My final thought was, "Boy, he must have been mad at the director or something because it was like he intentionally ruined that movie by playing everything too straight." Rob is not a stupid guy. He had to have known he was screwing up what could have been a funny little comedy. Weird. I must say though, if his performance could be cut out and pasted into a drama it would have been very impressive.

Paul (Schneider) has lost his wife, is about to lose his job and tries to do himself in when he is visited by strange people from Colombia, South America who have anointed him as The Chosen One.

If One is going direct Oneself in a movie, One's name should be Clint Eastwood.

Schneider helped write, produce and direct himself in this barely watchable movie. One rule of radio is needed here: Let not DEAD AIR rule the airways. Here the acting was tentative by Schneider as though he was concentrating too much on watching himself direct and watching himself act all at the same time, and the result was too much hesitation when that wasn't called for. Yes, his character was going through some stuff, but the hesitations were like a football player consistently fumbling the ball. Doesn't look good. This is not the Rob Schneider I thought I would see. He needs to go back to Adam Sandler and beg for a job.

This is not a comedy, not a drama and is more of an outline of I don't know what in the sense: "let's see how this might go" , or "let's try this" and staying with those bonehead ideas. I saw where it could have been a comedy, but…………

The questions I had and Paul never asked in the beginning when he was told he was the Chosen One was: Why Me? followed up by: what do I have to do? And what am I supposed to do. Okay, he did ask why me? but didn't ask the other questions. No, we had to suffer through the movie to find out what he had to do to earn the title. Fair enough, but I still would have asked those other questions. Come on, tell me I am the Chosen One and you will hear the questions. Thought so. Am not, right? Thought so. Hmmmm..........

So later he climbs a tall building to put a hawk's nest back. But, when the hawk's nest was first removed, someone from the window above the nest quickly snatched up the nest. Why didn't Paul use that same window to put the nest back? Not much excitement in opening a window and plopping down the nest, is there? If a door or a way was blocked to do that, it should have been shown. It wasn't. He ended up climbing. Of course, we all wondered if he would fall.

John Schneider also helped produce this. I thought they may be brothers but cannot find that to be the case. But, that may not be the same John Schneider (Dukes of Hazard, Smallville) I am thinking of. Hey, I just learned there is another Christopher Lloyd (helps write for Modern Family TV show), and not the Back to the Future and Taxi guy. Hard to keep your eye on the ball these days. Reminds me of a story where almost everyone was named James Bond. Yes, they all said, "Bond, James Bond."

Violence: No. Sex: No. Nudity: No. Language: Not really, mild stuff and not much of it.

The Chosen One is quite simply terrible. I'd try to dress it up a bit for you, but the bottom line is if you value your time even slightly, then don't watch it. I'm no movie snob, I don't think a movie has to be life changing to be good, but this movie was so bad that it actually made me angry. The script is all over the place, completely disjointed, and when it comes down to brass tacks, quite simply boring. I'm finding it difficult to gather the motivation to explain to you why it's so bad, because its wasted so much of my time already. Suffice to say, one hour into the movie I was begging for something to happen, I forgave it at this point because it didn't bare the formulaic hallmarks of what you'd expect from Schneider. An hour and a half into the movie and I was wishing that it was formulaic...any form would do. It just switches from weak comedy to pointless, tenuous emotional tragedy and neither of these gets enough time to do a complete job. I reckon Schneider was attempting to convince the world and his peers that he was capable of more than cheap laughs, and this was his attempt to showcase his acting ability, and thats exactly how it came across; as a showcase, with no adjoining theme. After watching it, I couldn't sleep because I was worried that other people would have to sit through this utter shambles of a movie if I didn't do something to warn them off, so consider this a free favour. Watch it if you must, but don't say I didn't warn you.

I was going into this experience prepared for another one of Schneider's comedies such as Male Gigolo. I was pleasantly surprised by how much this wasn't a typical Schneider movie. Although it wasn't a very good movie it had some moments of fine acting from Schneider.

The character he portrays is going through a crisis in which he has lost his wife to a yoga instructor. On top of that he isn't really enjoying his work anymore. So he tries to commit suicide, something his father tried as well but unlike Schneiders character actually accomplished. In the midst of what is going on in his life, four people from a south American tribe show up at his doorstep and tell him he's the one to save the world.

Judging by the outline of the plot it isn't really easy to tell what kind of movie it is. Especially when the movie is said to be a comedy. But for me it was a better than expected. The moments when Schneider's character was vulnerable were in my opinion his best work to date. I could have done without the small gestures of comedy though, for it would have been a much better film if it was taking itself a little more serious.

Now, the movie itself is quite weak. The story is a bit much and over the top. The comedy is for the most part shoved right in there without proper tact. The dialog is so hollow that it is used solely for the purpose of moving things along. Even the compositing with green screen material looked like it was done by an intern. But damn it if the monologues from Schneider didn't get to me. Those were delivered with such heart and compassion that it almost saves the movie for me. But in the end, that is all there was to praise the movie for. And although it isn't enough for me to actually buy this DVD, I will await the next Schneider movie hoping it to be made with the amount of heart Schneider's has proved he has and not just another vehicle to keep his name going.

Let me start by saying that I have always been a Rob Schneider fan. The rubber faced act that Jim Carry brought to fame is all the better when its tinged with the smell of true desperation and for me this has always been the appeal of Rob Schneider.

Although brilliant, he has in many ways escaped fame and been relagated to the same bunker as legends such as Bruce Campbell, by which I mean that special group of guys who cant help but be funny even when they are trying to be serious.

I found myself at several points in this film bursting out laughing at Rob, even though he was just playing things straight. Not because he is a bad actor, far from it, but just because he is one of those guys that radiate humor like stink lines in a cartoon.

Quickly though, and despite the largely cheesy and casually racist plot, I found myself drawn into the Schneiders sinceer attempt to act his balls off, and do you know what, I don't think he did a bad job.

Everything about this movie should spell a flop, its obvious, stereotypical to the extreme, and more than a little ridiculous but a maturing Schneider some how makes it work and some how manages to extract from my blackening and shrivelled heart a grain of genuine emotion. So, well done Mr Schneider, your foray into drama has been a largely successful one, and it has been nice to see you act for a change.

Keep it up.