Tyrannosaurus Azteca

It was 1 a.m. in the morning and I had nothing else to do. Don't judge me... please.

We're back in time during the Spanish settlements. A group have made their way onto an island. It doesn't take too long before they encounter a large "reptile", which gobbles up their horse. Soon they're captured by the natives and in order to gain freedom they must kill the "reptile gods." THE CG sucks; it reminds me of the CG of early console video games. The encounters were lame. The only positive thing I have to say about this was the hottie native running around in a skimpy outfit. Otherwise it's just a middling effort.

A very clever movie, using the old style movie plot, that the writer and director team very subtly, and very craftily, made their point.

The movie is an old style Science Fiction adventure. Cortez leads six men on an expedition into the Aztec world. Cortez is a good choice, because he is known as one of the less ruthless, but still successful conquistadors. He certainly had more civility than Pizarro.

Along the way, they meet a tribe, and two T Rexes. They are out for conquest, so they decide they will conquer the tribe instead of the T Rexes.

But the tribe gets the better of them, and a priest intervenes on their behalf. It isn't unusual for a Spaniard to be stranded or shipwrecked near a coastal community, and such was the case for this priest, who was deemed interesting enough by the tribe to take in, and he taught them the language of Cortez.

The characters are very real and identifiable. You genuinely care about them. It is well written and directed. The T Rexes lumber, as some scientists still believe. It is only recently that some scientists claim that rexes were speedy, but these are scientists just trying to get their names into print. Good Science dictates that it takes an incredible amount of energy to give speed to that weight. It's like trying to motor a two ton truck as opposed to a motorcycle. The lumbering T Rex still makes more sense.

The characters are well done. Cortez is much like the leader of the treasure seekers in "The Jungle Book", the one with Sabu in it. He is a decent man, who cares about other people, and has humanity, but still wants the treasure. The priest is a very three dimensional character. The romantic two leads are also believable, especially for the times, since they have never seen movies, and don't know what a modern character is supposed to be like. They behave much as you would find credible for the times.

But the chief point of the movie is that it attacks all other horror and Science Fiction movies in a very subtle way. It comes with the idea in the title I gave this, and I wouldn't want to spoil it. Nearly all horror and Science Fiction movies made in the last forty years indicate that some characters are "divinely" above any physical weakness, and that if you're evil enough, you cannot become weak. This movie cleverly attacks that notion.

This movie threw me at first in the way it's put together.

First I thought it is a Mexican movie, then I find out that it's Sy-Fy original. I thought it was filmed in Mexico, then I find that it's filmed in Oahu Hawaii (The same ranch where they filmed the "Wind Talker"). I thought the girl was Maxican, and I find that she's Tibetian-Australian. One thing I was right was that the guy looked Hawaiian, and he was.

The reason why I thought the movie was Mexican was that it was about the level of quality of average Mexican movie. It is kind of bad even for a Sy-Fy channel special. What I like about the film is that it's shot quite beautifully. And the actors are actually pretty good looking.

So despite the low budget feel, it only reinforces the fact that these actors are actually worth looking at. The girl looked like Pocahauntus for real.

Everyone says this movie is bad, but for a movie that's supposed to bad, it's sure getting lot of views. So somebody must be liking it.

I thought it was a great idea to combine T-Rex with the Aztecs and the conquistadors.

I was never bored while watching this movie, although it was shockingly low quality in production. I can't say that for many of the more higher quality production movies, so at least the script was acceptable in this movie.

Considering that Japanese anime studios routinely outputs a high quality program at about this budget range, I'm not sure if 2.5M for this movie is justified, but it was an interesting movie to watch in many different ways.

I'll bet none of you knew that the famous Conquistador Hernando Cortes made a preliminary scouting expedition to Mexico before taking on the Aztecs. Good thing he did because he would never have known about those T Rexs that inhabited one particular valley where the locals revered them as gods.

That was understandable. What wasn't was the casting of blue eyed Ian Ziering as Cortes. Even with the blond hair made famous in Beverly Hills 90210 dyed black, Ian looked positively ridiculous. At least he made no attempt at a Spanish accent.

The real hero of Tyrannosaurus Azteca is Marco Sanchez also late of a television series with a semi-recurring role in Walker Texas Ranger as Detective Sandoval of the Dallas PD. He finds true love with an Aztec princess and life would be just perfect if it wasn't for those pesky prehistoric beasts the natives worship.

Tyrannosaurus Azteca looks like they used some outtakes from the famous Sid&Marty Krofft series the Land of the Lost. All that was needed was some Sleestak to appear.

If you're interested in finding out about this reconnoitering expedition that didn't quite make the history books by all means check out Tyrannosaurus Azteca. Then try and sit through it with a straight face.

I LOVE these Sci-Fi Channel movies. But usually when I say they are "good", what I mean is that they were bad, but in an entertaining way. But this, this turned my whole world upside down. It was actually... almost... sort of... gosh, kind of good (and I don't mean 'bad' this time).

Well first, let me get this out of the way - I think it is only fair to rate a movie independently of what it is about - if someone wants to make a movie about googly eyed pet rocks, you should then rate it based on how well they accomplished what they set out to do - not give it a 1 just because it's about googly eyed pet rocks. So in that light, realize that yes, this is about Spanish explorers meeting Aztecs who worship a dinosaur who has apparently survived for millions of years in their valley. But no, it doesn't deserve a bad rating just because of the ridiculous plot.

So with that said, the movie easily deserves an 8 because of its pretty decent special effects, pretty decent acting, pretty decent story, and highly entertaining result. The key for the viewer is being able to get past the silly premise - if you can do that, I guarantee you will enjoy yourself.