House

Let me first say I watched it so you don't have to. House seems to be a film geared to horror movie fans, surfing along on the bet that people are going to appreciate seeing reenactments of familiar scenarios. So familiar in fact that it has a rip off quality to it, which ultimately comes across as lazy. The plot, if there is one, is about four extremely attractive young people, stranded at the same time in a house in the middle of nowhere. When WILL these youngin's learn not to drive their classic cars down dirt roads in the boonies? There's a creepy family out there, just waiting to freak their freaks. The house in question IS pretty cool, I wouldn't mind owning it. It's big and lit with green lights and decorated with serial killer wallpaper. Its basement is enormous and there are serious plumbing problems. Absolutely nothing justifies the R rating, this could have aired on the Sci-fi channel without edits. Was there a bribe on the part of the producers? "Please sir, give us an R, that'll bring 'em in expecting shocks and gore". This movie has a Texas Chainsaw-lite family, suggestions of Satanism, little girl ghost, crazed killer, vaporous black smoke, Spielberg like whispy thingies, gravity defying water, a thunderstorm that appears right on cue, no cell phone signals, several twists, and Michael Madson cashing a paycheck. You'd think, that with all this, there would be something to watch, but no. It goes in many directions, only to switch to another direction with no point, purpose or resolution. Awful.

Heading to see a marriage counselor, the Singletons (Reynaldo Rosales and Heidi Dippold) blow two tires on an Alabama back road. Looking for help, they stumble upon the isolated Wayside Inn and find another couple there as well. The place is run by a creepy family (Leslie Easterbrook, Bill Moseley, and Lew Temple) and they offer to let everyone stay. After a rather tense dinner, the Singletons try to leave but are confronted by The Tin Man, a masked figure who demands the visitors pay for their various sins.

Based on the book by Ted Dekker and Frank Peretti, House was given a limited theatrical release in November 2008. It opened in my area (we're just down the road from The 700 Club), but I didn't go see it. I kind of wish I had as R-rated horror film aimed at Christian audiences isn't likely to happen that often. Director Robby Henson does a good job creating atmosphere (the SAW films were obviously a huge influence) and the production does well masking Poland for rural Alabama. The script is a bit simplistic ("Light destroys darkness" says the angel surrogate character) and the story steals a big page from Carnival of Souls (1962). The supporting cast is good as the crazy family and reads like the line up at a horror convention. To solidify that fact, Michael Madsen also shows up as a cop.

I was kind of looking forward to this movie as it looked like one of those that might make me not be able to sleep for a while. However, I just watched it and the story was interesting but I was not frightened at all.

The acting isn't very good. In most scenes where something intense is supposed to be happening, the actors just seem to overreact. In other cases they don't seem freaked out at all by what's going on. But the worst part about the acting is that the 'evil ones' mostly just make you laugh. It's like watching a comedy that spoofs horror films.

The sound effects also contribute to a negative part of this film. The voices you hear in the background are just too typical. For example, I could swear I had heard the 'laughing child' voice in at least 20 other horror movies.

I really hoped that this film would stand out. Unfourtunately, the story is the only part that's unique. I haven't read the novel but I think it's safe to say that this story is much better imagined than watched on the screen.

3/10 stars. Sadly, it's not worth the watch.

I had been waiting for this movie since it was announced it would come out. I am a fan of the book which is just creepy and crazy. I always know that it is seldom that a movie is as good as the book, but this movie killed the book with bordom.

The movie lacked intensity, fear or surprise. The acting was subpar and the editing left many holes in the story leading to a confusing and preachy movie. The characters don't develop during the movie and you are left with a cardboard taste.

Most of the original story line was destroyed and viewers are left with a watered down version of an intense story. The preachy added in parts just took away.

I didn't even realize this was a Ted Dekker story until the end of the film, which explains a lot. He's also responsible for the "story" in the lame Seven knockoff cleverly titled "Three". He also writes Christian horror, whatever the hell that means. Michael Madsen is usually a recipe for disaster in any movie not titled Reservoir Dogs, and he screws it up here as well. Apparently Christian horror is about as effective as Christian rock. It looks like horror, kinda smells like horror, but it's not really horror. I'm not too religious myself, but being a Christian doesn't mean you have to stomach half-baked garbage like this just because it's written by someone who touts himself as a Christian writer. It's like liking those horrifyingly bad Left Behind books. Don't excuse bad writing just because the writer is a Christian. That's weak sauce. Use your head, people. There is also no reason for this to be rated R whatsoever. I can't remember any swearing and there was hardly any blood considering all the death in the film. There's an interesting concept in the flick somewhere but it gets lost in the shoddy camera-work and hit-or-miss acting that proves everyone involved is not quite ready for prime time. It gets one extra star for the awesome Bill Moseley, though he's wasted in this disappointing wanna-be horror film. Ted Dekker and Dan Brown should get together. Maybe between them they might be able to come up with a fully-functioning story. I said might...