The Love Guru

It was heavy-handed, painful and endless. The opposite of funny. An excruciating bunch of penis jokes strung together with some gross-out scenes. Wow! Penises can be short! Penises can be long! Oh, hahaha! Oh, and who can forget the musical numbers. Did I mention that they were choreographed? Mike Myers has lost the charm he exhibited in the Austin Powers franchise. And it's clear that he picked an inexperienced director for this so he could control the shoot. And why does Jessica Alba keep doing crappy movies like this and "Good Luck, Chuck"? Did someone tell her she was a comedienne? And Justin Timberlake -- well, no wonder he wears a wig and moustache throughout. Ironically, though the material is definitely for teen-aged boys, they probably won't go to see it because of the title. It'll maybe have one weekend, then go flaccid. Incidentally, the only truly memorable line in the entire mess is from Verne Troyer in an outtake run with the credits. But it's not worth watching the entire mess to hear it.

Although this may be the worst film of Mike Myers career, it is definitely not the worst of the year. Yes the film is ridden with penis jokes. Yes there are bad puns. In the end however, The Love Guru doesn't fail to make you laugh many times. It does use Verne Troyer offensively as the butt of many jokes, and doesn't have much of a meaning, but when a film can make you laugh for most of the running time, there is something great about that.

Most of the jokes are hit and miss, but there are so many of them that at least a few will have you in stitches. In a time where "Genre" Spoof Movies are bringing in millions, the Love Guru is at least a little taste of originality. We all know that Myers can make us laugh, but we might not of known it would take so little.

My last comment is that the Love Guru is very similar to Leslie Neilsen's WRONGFULLY ACCUSED. A very funny film that is worth catching once, because of all the laughs you'll get, but watching it a second time is like cheese gratering your face. The Love Guru isn't that bad, but it has the same feel. Worth catching on TV or at the Video store if you want to turn your brain off and have a good laugh.

I read self-help books, I study religions and spirituality, and I thought this was a funny movie. Movies such as these teach us to not take life so seriously. It would seem that anyone who claims to have any sense of spirituality or enlightenment, and was offended by this movie, doesn't really understand Truth. To be pro the movie, or neutral to the movie is one thing, but to attack the movie, to be against the movie, would seem to be self-defeating. Attacking the movie gives energy (and publicity) to it, for which, I'm sure the makers are very grateful. I thought the headlines of certain people being 'outraged' by the movie were as humorous as the movie. Deepak knows...he took it in good fun.

I have seen some awful movies. Movies that just aren't that great, aren't interesting, lack that certain spark that a Great Movie always has. I knew, walking in to screen this movie this morning, that this would lack that certain spark. I knew this would not be a Great Movie, but I expected it to be at least somewhat funny -- it is, after all, a comedy. And as for expecting the rest of it to be stupid, well, it went above and beyond: it was absolutely ridiculous.

Generally, I'm indifferent to Mike Myers' stupid (for lack of a better word) humor. There have been some genuinely funny moments in past movies, but you won't find more than two or maybe even three in this one. The entire movie was basically sexual innuendo after innuendo after innuendo after humping elephants.

At one point, I wanted to bash my head against a wall. This supposed "comedy" was absolute torture to sit through.

But Stephen Colbert is interesting -- has a few funny lines -- and Jessica Alba was very pretty. Also, Verne Troyer has quite the clever line -- in the credits, that is.

I suppose one thing to say about this movie is, while not exactly in a positive light, it will likely always be in your memory, never forgotten. Although, keep in mind: seeing a movie should never hurt this much.

I may be a bit generous with the star-rating system, true. But I do know what I was feeling after the credits started rolling. Disappointment. And don't get me wrong. I am a huge Mike Myers fan. I am a devout fan of Austin Powers, Wayne's World (where's #3 in the series???), and, actually, yes, I did enjoy Cat in the Hat, although it was not a piece of art. And I understand if fans of Mike Myers will still go to see this film. I did after all, even after reading the terrible reviews. Sadly, this time, the critics were correct. Mike knows better. The director should've known better. Mike Myers's return to live action comedy is more than disappointing. Even the character, Your Holiness the Guru Pitka, was unlikeable (which is a first for a Mike Myers character). He was so full of himself, so damn selfish, no one cared if he succeeded. His giggle-fits were too common to spark a slight giggle from the audience. And although the women in the film were pure eye-candy (Jessica Alba, Meagan Good, even Mariska Hargitay and Jessica Simpson made cameos), they became little more than that with such a flat script. Sorry Mike. Maybe next time. A fourth Austin Powers would be quite a way to get back in the game with your biggest fans:)