The Love Guru

I have seen some awful movies. Movies that just aren't that great, aren't interesting, lack that certain spark that a Great Movie always has. I knew, walking in to screen this movie this morning, that this would lack that certain spark. I knew this would not be a Great Movie, but I expected it to be at least somewhat funny -- it is, after all, a comedy. And as for expecting the rest of it to be stupid, well, it went above and beyond: it was absolutely ridiculous.

Generally, I'm indifferent to Mike Myers' stupid (for lack of a better word) humor. There have been some genuinely funny moments in past movies, but you won't find more than two or maybe even three in this one. The entire movie was basically sexual innuendo after innuendo after innuendo after humping elephants.

At one point, I wanted to bash my head against a wall. This supposed "comedy" was absolute torture to sit through.

But Stephen Colbert is interesting -- has a few funny lines -- and Jessica Alba was very pretty. Also, Verne Troyer has quite the clever line -- in the credits, that is.

I suppose one thing to say about this movie is, while not exactly in a positive light, it will likely always be in your memory, never forgotten. Although, keep in mind: seeing a movie should never hurt this much.

I may be a bit generous with the star-rating system, true. But I do know what I was feeling after the credits started rolling. Disappointment. And don't get me wrong. I am a huge Mike Myers fan. I am a devout fan of Austin Powers, Wayne's World (where's #3 in the series???), and, actually, yes, I did enjoy Cat in the Hat, although it was not a piece of art. And I understand if fans of Mike Myers will still go to see this film. I did after all, even after reading the terrible reviews. Sadly, this time, the critics were correct. Mike knows better. The director should've known better. Mike Myers's return to live action comedy is more than disappointing. Even the character, Your Holiness the Guru Pitka, was unlikeable (which is a first for a Mike Myers character). He was so full of himself, so damn selfish, no one cared if he succeeded. His giggle-fits were too common to spark a slight giggle from the audience. And although the women in the film were pure eye-candy (Jessica Alba, Meagan Good, even Mariska Hargitay and Jessica Simpson made cameos), they became little more than that with such a flat script. Sorry Mike. Maybe next time. A fourth Austin Powers would be quite a way to get back in the game with your biggest fans:)

I saw this film last night in a advance screening. I can say without a doubt it is the worst movie I've ever seen in the theater. It is simply a terrible movie. For every joke that's funny (which are few) there is about dozen that are not. Then there's all the jokes we've seen in previous Myers films that aren't so funny the 4th time around when they appear in this flick. Many moments in this film will having you looking around the theater wondering if anyone else finds this movie as stupid as you do.

That's really the bottom line. This movie is stupid. Take every fear you've had watching the trailer, times it by 10 and you will get an idea of how bad this film is.

By the way, the hockey in this movie will leave any one who loves the game sick to there stomach. The hockey portrayal left me in tears. Its brutal ! The film is a HUGE slap in the face to hockey. Thanks Mike Myers !

On a positive note though, Justin Timberlake and Stephen Colbert are hilarious. The only time i enjoyed the movie at all was when they were on screen. I never thought in a million years I would leave a movie saying " Thank God Justin Timberlake was is it."

In short : this movie is terrible ! Don't believe me ? Then throw your money away and see for yourself.

I read self-help books, I study religions and spirituality, and I thought this was a funny movie. Movies such as these teach us to not take life so seriously. It would seem that anyone who claims to have any sense of spirituality or enlightenment, and was offended by this movie, doesn't really understand Truth. To be pro the movie, or neutral to the movie is one thing, but to attack the movie, to be against the movie, would seem to be self-defeating. Attacking the movie gives energy (and publicity) to it, for which, I'm sure the makers are very grateful. I thought the headlines of certain people being 'outraged' by the movie were as humorous as the movie. Deepak knows...he took it in good fun.

It was heavy-handed, painful and endless. The opposite of funny. An excruciating bunch of penis jokes strung together with some gross-out scenes. Wow! Penises can be short! Penises can be long! Oh, hahaha! Oh, and who can forget the musical numbers. Did I mention that they were choreographed? Mike Myers has lost the charm he exhibited in the Austin Powers franchise. And it's clear that he picked an inexperienced director for this so he could control the shoot. And why does Jessica Alba keep doing crappy movies like this and "Good Luck, Chuck"? Did someone tell her she was a comedienne? And Justin Timberlake -- well, no wonder he wears a wig and moustache throughout. Ironically, though the material is definitely for teen-aged boys, they probably won't go to see it because of the title. It'll maybe have one weekend, then go flaccid. Incidentally, the only truly memorable line in the entire mess is from Verne Troyer in an outtake run with the credits. But it's not worth watching the entire mess to hear it.