Epic Movie

Absolutely horrible.

Continuous brain dead jokes leave you very bored. But to be honest, I wasn't disappointed, Date Movie showed me what to expect.

This is what you get when two idiots attempt potty/violence humor. If you're easily amused like the way a child is to a silly face or a fart, then maybe you should give this movie a shot. The only thing I found slightly amusing was how imitable Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow is.

These pathetic jokes are tossed into a very crude storyline, and the fact that its a spoof movie does not excuse it.

Epic Movie is shameful, and I strongly urge you to avoid.

In the past 10 years, I've probably seen more than 200 movies at theaters. This is the first movie that I've ever walked out on. 45 minutes in, I couldn't handle the torture anymore. This is the most unfunny piece of garbage I've ever seen. Although, I did get a good chuckle when about 50% of the audience had left before the halfway mark.

It's hard to meet the minimum post-length requirement for this movie, because there isn't much to say about it.

I didn't find any of the gags clever. Nor did I find them funny. I did think some of the set designs looked okay. The casting directors also found someone who looked surprisingly like Jack Black, although sadly the script didn't give him anything funny to do.

Just avoid this. It's not even worth a rental.

...but rather just a list of movies that the filmmakers wanted to parody, strung together by the weakest plot in film history and a lot of unfunny jokes.

You would think that the team responsible for the mess of a movie that was Date Movie would at least have learned something from their last film to help them avoid the same mistakes, but they didn't.

It would appear they spent more time making parodies as visually accurate as they could and spent almost no time trying to make the film entertaining. Some of the parodies seem completely out of place and don't even fit into what little plot there is.

I couldn't recommend this film to anyone, not even those I hated.

After watching this movie, I just couldn't stop talking about it. Mind you, not in the sense that someone can't stop talking about a great book or show, but more along the line of how someone can't stop talking about their colonoscopy during a diner conversation. In other words, after seeing this you can't help but try and remove the stain it left on your very soul by vomiting out the experience onto others.

This movie entered with the tag line of being "written by two of the six writers of 'Scary Movie'!" What they forgot to mention is that the two who wrote it were only responsible for writing the credits and all the jokes deleted for the sake of not causing mass suicide. Put more delicately, this movie almost makes Pootie Tang look Oscar worthy, which ironically enough was made fun of in the last Scary Movie for being horrid. Coincidence? Yeah, not even some sort of Karma dealing fiend would wish this movie upon the world.

"So," you ask, "What makes it so bad?" I bet your thinking that all of the funny stuff was in the previews, right? No, actually there was no funny content in the previews at all, it just seemed that way when taken out of the context of the movie. Much the same way "Hogan's Heroes" was funny to people who weren't in Auschwitz during the Holocaust, the previews are funny to those who haven't seen the movie. When you actually see the movie, you start to ask, "Why was that funny in the preview?" The answer: You can see pretty flowers if you ignore the fact that they are growing from the corpse of a man who died during a freak green house accident.

Do yourself a favor, rent a History channel documentary on the history of documentaries and hit yourself in the head with a hammer. It'll be twice as funny, make three times more sense, and be only a fifth as painful.

Alright, it wasn't that bad, but it was close. Sure the Scary Movie series as well as Date Movie were stupid and juvenile, but this is dumber than all the rest. There were a few chuckles, but overall it was mostly me groaning. Nearly every joke was tired and lame. They gave away all the "good" jokes in the trailer. Why Fred Willard and Jennifer Coolidge would be in this I have no idea. But Crispin Glover? The oddball actor who was so great in films like Back to the Future, River's Edge What's Eating Gilbert Grape and more? Yeah that's him all right, as Willy Wonka dancing around to crappy songs. So maybe my title was accurate.