Epic Movie

I will admit I didn't see this until a couple of days ago, and I was really hesitant of seeing it, after reading a lot of negative reviews on the film, and after seeing the excrement that is Disaster Movie. And let me tell you, after seeing this travesty for myself, I can't agree more with the negativity. While not quite as monstrous as Disaster Movie, Epic Movie(more like Epic Dud) is a truly terrible movie. There are absolutely no redeeming qualities here. The humour just isn't funny. It is crude, vulgar, over-familiar and even contrived, and the constant flashing of breasts was way overdone. The acting was really amateur, Jennifer Coolidge and Carmen Electra get my vote as the worst actresses in the movie, and believe me that is not saying much. The Willy Wonka spoof was just as tired as the movie itself. And as a parody of films like Pirates of the Caribbean and chronicles of Narnia, it falls well short in terms of sophistication. The writing is unbelievably bad, the characters are annoying and the plot just isn't there. The music was awful, and the pirate rap was torturously bad. I will say right now, that I don't like any of the recent Friedberg-Seltzer movies, merely because not only do I feel that there is a complete lack of comedic talent in their films, but also their films come across as a complete waste of time. And just like Disaster Movie, I seriously was considering turning the film off 20 minutes in, that's how painful I found it. All in all, probably not quite the worst movie ever, but along with movies like Home Alone 4, NeverEnding Story 3 and Freddy Got Fingered, it is close. A complete disaster of epic proportions, and one to avoid, even if you're thinking of renting. I'm not trying to sound harsh, I am just trying to explain as much as I can what I feel about the movie. 1/10 Bethany Cox

After watching this movie, I just couldn't stop talking about it. Mind you, not in the sense that someone can't stop talking about a great book or show, but more along the line of how someone can't stop talking about their colonoscopy during a diner conversation. In other words, after seeing this you can't help but try and remove the stain it left on your very soul by vomiting out the experience onto others.

This movie entered with the tag line of being "written by two of the six writers of 'Scary Movie'!" What they forgot to mention is that the two who wrote it were only responsible for writing the credits and all the jokes deleted for the sake of not causing mass suicide. Put more delicately, this movie almost makes Pootie Tang look Oscar worthy, which ironically enough was made fun of in the last Scary Movie for being horrid. Coincidence? Yeah, not even some sort of Karma dealing fiend would wish this movie upon the world.

"So," you ask, "What makes it so bad?" I bet your thinking that all of the funny stuff was in the previews, right? No, actually there was no funny content in the previews at all, it just seemed that way when taken out of the context of the movie. Much the same way "Hogan's Heroes" was funny to people who weren't in Auschwitz during the Holocaust, the previews are funny to those who haven't seen the movie. When you actually see the movie, you start to ask, "Why was that funny in the preview?" The answer: You can see pretty flowers if you ignore the fact that they are growing from the corpse of a man who died during a freak green house accident.

Do yourself a favor, rent a History channel documentary on the history of documentaries and hit yourself in the head with a hammer. It'll be twice as funny, make three times more sense, and be only a fifth as painful.

Epic Movie (2007) is total crap, no beating around the bush here, it was so bad it actually angered me that i paid to view this turkey and i wanted a refund, i felt cheated, the only reason i didn't cause a fuss at the cinema was the fact that something very funny happened...... a singing chant started in the audience (of about 12 people), and it went something like this, why are we watching, why are we watching, why are we watchinggggg this piece of CRAP!!!! I didn't have a clue what was going on, the 'script' was idiotic, the actors were totally lame and annoying and the jokes were pathetic and UNFUNNY, how this ever made it to the silver screen i'll never know.

I advise anyone who's thinking of going to see this piece of JUNK, to stay well clear and save their money, thank you and GOODNIGHT! 0/10

Watching the previews for this movie I was expecting to have some good laughs. After watching the actual movie however I was extremely disappointed. 95% of the movie I didn't even have a little chuckle or a laugh. I ended up slightly laughing to some of the pathetic vulgar stuff. Even the potty humor in this movie was really really bad. ( Worse potty humor ever!) I am a pretty big fan of potty humor and immature stuff ... but what this movie had to offer was sadly disappointing with what was presented. Aside from the humor there was many rap music type scenes where the characters were participating in a lamed down style of a MTV music video... many of these scenes were unnecessary or too much and far from entertaining. They were more or less not enjoyable and far too many like them. Now to the good parts of the movie ... trust me I'm trying hard to find em! Many movies were parodied and you will probably recognize most of them and there is an occasional scene where they throw characters from other movies in for the hell of it just to have them in the movie. I also liked the rap dance scene (only one i liked) where they were doing a Pirates of the Caribbean rap dance. It reminded me of Captain Dan the Hip Hop Pirate..I wonder if they were trying to parody that guy? Well folks there wasn't much more to this movie other than a waste of time and disappointment.

There is nothing original here whatsoever-same old big breast jokes, oral sex jokes; sloppy tongue-kissing, spoofing of movies not necessarily worth spoofing, and using the same old actors (i.e. Adam Campbell) from other horrible spoofing movies. It is disappointing to see that actors who have received some acclaim from both critics and the public alike have starred in this-the worst movie ever made-worse than Grease 2. And only a few minutes longer than a regular TV show except without interesting commercials, it is highway robbery to make anyone pay to see this half-baked movie where writers, producers, actors and directors have only put half an effort to do something that at least would be satisfactory. And half is giving them too much credit. Unfortunately for Kal Penn, Jennifer Coolidge, Faune A. Chambers and Crispin Glover (you waited for this movie to return to the big screen? where were you last couple of years? in detox?), I won't be running to the theatre any time soon to see one of their movies any time soon.

Studio decision-makers have to take a stand against these movies-and so does the industry. Pre-teens, teens and young adults have shown that they have interests in seeing well-written, acted, developed and intelligent movies. Don't take the easy way out to do these useless piece of junk.