House of Payne

Words cannot capture just how bad this show really is. It probably sets black culture back 50 years. Horrible writing, impossibly predictable stereotypical characters, and actors that look to be mailing it in make me wonder who at TBS could have possibly thought this was a good idea.

I won't try to summarize any particular plot, since some may view that as a type of validation. Simply put, there is nothing redeeming about this atrocity. Even the laugh track doesn't find this show funny.

TBS advertises the Paynes as "the Huxtables meets the Bunkers." They are neither. They are neither funny nor socially relevant. If I were Bill Cosby, I'd sue TBS for defamation.

Memo to TBS:

(1) Cancel this show IMMEDIATELY; (2) Fire the executive that green-lighted this debacle and ensure that he or she never works in entertainment again; and (3) Destroy all evidence, scripts, recordings, etc. proving that this show existed.

I've watched this show a couple times, and each time I thought the punchline was the show itself, not actually any of the jokes in the show. The show plays like a "MAD-TV" sketch that is a parody of bad sitcoms, but as you watch this further, you realize that what your watching is an actual sitcom meant to be funny on its own merits. Normally, humor of this level is on Nickelodeon or Disney Channel and for children, but I think this show is actually meant for adults and sober ones at that. This show reminds me of "Kenan & Kel" or another show meant for kids with cheesy jokes and lame humor that only children would laugh at. The only way you can tell something is supposed to be funny is when the laugh track plays, otherwise I wouldn't even know this was meant to be a comedy.

I haven't seen any of Tyler Perry's movies, but they've done well at the box office and have gotten pretty good reviews. Has he seen this show? Does he realize they're using his name to promote it? If you enjoy this show, have you ever watched a sitcom before? Those of you who say this is a well-written show, have you ever read anything beyond the "Dick & Jane" books? This show must be seen to be believed. I hesitate to even call it awful, because I haven't gotten to the point where I even comprehend what I've seen yet. If this show is for real, Tyler Perry needs to sit down in quiet room somewhere and contemplate his career and what he hopes to accomplish, because if this is the kind of work he is proud of, he needs to consider a career change.

Today I found myself in a dilemma. I was sitting at my computer, and House of Payne came on. But the remote was all the way over on the couch. I didn't want to get up, but there was no way I was going to watch House of Payne. Out of the question. So I picked myself up off my comfy computer chair and changed the channel. Why is this relevant? House of Payne is the type of show that can't be ignored, and I don't mean that in a good way. I can't sit here and go about my business when House of Payne is on, because as hard as I try to ignore it, the bad jokes and terrible acting always catch my attention.

There are so many things wrong with this show. I don't even need to get into detail about it, the other reviews do a fine job of that. One of the most laughable aspects of the show is that it is supposed to show African Americans in a positive light. So, the one caucasian character is a fat, bumbling idiot. I've no idea why Bart Hansard has continued to play such a pathetic and degrading character, this show does nothing to promote racial equality, and in fact it sets us back at least 10 years, if not more. Tyler Perry is the Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer of the Television industry, and that's saying a lot. Absolute garbage, and TBS should be shut down for acting like it has any sort of critical acclaim.

If you're confused by my title, let me explain. If the unnecessarily drawn-out conversations immediately got to the point, the 25 minute shows would last about 10 minutes. Hence, a 10 minute story told in 25 minutes.

There are a lot more reasons for my 3 stars, but I don't feel like writing a book. Let's just say that there is no comedy in this comedy.

I've been reading the user comments and threads on the message board for a week even though I hadn't seen the show yet. I just found the posts amusing.

I finally saw the show last night and unfortunately for Tyler Perry and TBS...these posts have been more amusing than the show. It's just not funny. Not only because the jokes aren't any good but the jokes aren't delivered well either. The actor playing Calvin tries the hardest to sell a joke but even then he oversells it. Not even because of his acting, mainly because the jokes are so bad that if you try to sell it you'll easily oversell it.

Literally everything about this show is weak. The writing, the directing, the acting, the blocking, the camera work, the editing.

Throughout the entire show I noticed how something was getting in the way of the storytelling and the jokes. Even the damn laugh track got in the way. The crowd noise was used inappropriately and sometimes the wrong crowd noise was used. They'd use a "Oooooo" when there should've been laughter.

It's a bad Fresh Prince of Bel Air. That was a show that tackled subject matter that the black community could relate to but didn't do it in a tacky, over-dramatic or sometimes over simplistic way like "Tyler Perry's House of Payne" does. AND it was actually funny because the actors could act and the lead had star power.

There was ONE time during either of last night's episode that an actual joke occurred.

In correcting his wife's word usage, Curtis says, "But them weren't panties. Them were big assed draws!" I didn't laugh but at least it was an actual joke.

The moment after a joke like this occurs is the moment a Bill Cosby or a Will Smith would've taken hold of the scene. They'd run with the joke and make the scene funny and in turn, better. In LaVan Davis' incapable hands, however, the scene fell flat.

Another reason for this was poor writing. Punchlines weren't set up well enough. Silly gags were used to get a cheap laugh. They'd look for a joke in the wrong places.

Explain to me why an anger management coach would look like Richard Simmons. That was a cheap sight gag that didn't make sense...and wasn't funny.

That's not the only way the writing got to me last night. I found one episode to be homophobic. When Curtis sees his nephew's son with a tutu around his neck he runs to pray because he thinks the boy is gay. Heaven forbid someone be gay! Spout out any Bible verses you want, it is what it is. And it was homophobic. That's an awfully polarizing thing to have on a show that, according to the show's defenders, is for the community. Stuff like that only serves to break up our communities.

Seriousness like that last point aside, the show is just plain bad. In every way. I'm trying to figure out why on Earth TBS ordered 100 episodes. That's 5 seasons worth! 5 seasons??

I don't see how they'll be able to justify CJ's staying with them for much longer than a season but they have to because it's the whole premise of the show. It's the reason for it's namesake. I know they tried to address that last night when CJ said, "I can't afford a new place. I have a mortgage on a house I don't even live in."

Ummmm, get a second job? Maybe you should've gotten that insurance?

This isn't a good enough reason for CJ and his kids to live with his uncle for 5 years.

And there isn't a good enough reason for me to watch this terrible show again unless I want to see how a show can be this bad.