I'm a sucker for Christmas films, I don't have a girlfriend and my Dad is my best friend so I guess it explains a lot.
Me and my Father actually watched this together with some nice mince pies, Eggnog and some stockings on our... never mind that bit.
The film opens with some very well composed Christmas music with a brightly coloured mise en scène and a great contrasting light filter which was great to get me in the mood as I was pouring myself a nice glass of eggnog.
In comes Santa (Ron Jeremy) who is a very genuinely nice despite the title Santa. He sits this girl down on his lap and asks what she wants, of course like many 18 year old girls she wanted nothing more than a nice pile driver. Ron delivered this pile driver with such genuine emotion that I could feel every bead of sweat running off his forehead in my heart.
As an actor Ron Jeremy just gets better and better each time, in this film it was no exception. Ron delivered each Shakespearean line with such conviction and grace that he really does Guildhall school of music and drama (in London) such justice in his classical training.
Me and my father actually started welling up quite a lot when another nice 18 year old asked for her to have a facial as it's so ridiculous that a woman so young would be so paranoid about having wrinkles on her face. Santa never gave her any face masks or anything like that but instead gave her the best gift of all, self esteem and confidence. He made her feel like a beautiful woman and finally unleashed his load on her face. Me and my Father jumped up in joy when he did this because it showed that you don't need corporate products to feel pretty, you just need attention and love.
The end of this story was very touching also, so much so that you could cut the suspense in the room with a butter knife. Me and my father side by side in complete silence watching Santa (Ron Jeremy) with yet another 18-19 year old girl. She says in a sad voice "My boyfriend won't give me a dirty schanzes." perhaps this was the saddest of all... I'm a single man and have been for a while, if I had a girl I'd treat her like a princess and give her a dirty schanzes every chance I could.
I had to wipe yet another tear from my eye as Santa (Ron Jeremy) lovingly gave this poor woman the dirty schanzes that she wanted for Christmas.
All in all, a great festive film to get you in the mood for Christmas celebrations and a heart warming tale with superb acting and a very deep hard to find message. You have to watch this film multiple times to understand the hidden narratives and it just gets better every time.
My rating - 8/10 - Beautiful, festive and great and my only gripe is that one of the women whom I didn't mention said that she wanted something big inside her which is kinda shallow but then maybe I'm being bitter because I'm not that big at all, no worries if so.
My dads rating 8/10 - Such a joyous film and it makes me wonder why I left my wife all those years ago to be subject to watching these films with my son on our 'dirty film Friday' my one complaint is that I had to watch it five times before I felt like I had discovered the hidden narratives.
