Infection

'What did I do to deserve this?' the lead actress wails and I can't help but wail that question alongside with her.

This movie was told through the perspective of a dashboard mounted camera in a police car, so if watching the view of headlights illuminating a dirt road in the middle of the forest for over an hour is your idea of entertainment, then this is the movie for you! The basic idea of this 'film' is sound, meteorites fall to the earth in a small town and one by one the residents are infected with some kind of alien slug thing deposited in the ear. However, you see none of this. What you do see is headlight illuminated grass with low rent sound effects playing in the background to give the illusion that something intense is going on.

I kept waiting for something to happen, and when nothing happened I kept waiting for someone to bludgeon me over the head for being so stupid as to continue watching this tripe.

If this quantifies as a film, then next time I'm stuck in motorway traffic and not moving for over an hour, I'll just film it and lay a soundtrack of machine gun fire and helicopters over the top and call myself a filmmaker.

INFECTION (aka: INVASION) starts out semi-promising. A cop drives down a rural road in his patrol car, recording everything on his dash cam. It seems that a meteor has hit nearby, and something strange is going on as a result.

Unfortunately, this setup lingers on and on. And on, as various people drive the same police car down the same long stretch of road!

To be fair, a couple of zombie-types do wander about, but they only last for about 10 seconds. There are few scares, and even fewer interesting plot developments. Most scenes are made up of lengthy shots of empty road with absolutely no action.

As one of the so-called "found footage" films, this movie could be used as evidence for why the entire sub-genre should be abolished...

A film for all those who say The Blair Witch Project was tedious, stupid, or poorly acted, or rather, a real example of a film that is tedious, stupid, and poorly acted. Still, despite its many faults, Albert Pyun's Invasion does retain a modicum of creepiness, perhaps a testament to the first-person approach (here, through a cop car's camera) combined with mysterious horror. The end credits run for 16 minutes, or nearly a fifth of the movie's running time. They just keep going and going, and going, and going...and going, and going. And going some more. Is this review now long enough to be submitted? Yes, yes it is.

...but that by no means makes it good or even mediocre. This doesn't rise to "complete crap" status. And that's the fascinating part: it's such a non-movie that you keep watching and waiting for something to happen so the movie can get started. But it never does. It actively avoids everything...period. I can't stress enough that isn't an exaggeration, this lack-of-a-movie avoids it's own characters and plot, even just abandoning them completely by the side of the road and goes for a long, slow drive through the countryside. Yes, that literally happens, it's actually a pretty succinct summary of the entire 70 or minute runtime.

The most interesting thing about the whole thing comes from the fact that it was made at all: who thought this was a good enough idea to make a movie? Who heard the pitch and invested real, actual money to make it happen? How can an absolute absence of story and characters and events be anything but boring? Was this just another attempt to scam the foreign video market with a fake movie made for $20 and a tank of gas?

If nothing else, "Invasion" raises a lot of questions. "Can't there be an IMDb rating BELOW 1?", for example.

I have never in my life taken the time to write a review on anything. But PLEASE do not waste a penny or a second in this movie. There is nothing redeeming about it at all. The script is terrible, the acting atrocious, the plot absurd, the sound effects ridiculous and the storyline completely boring. It is sad that one red cent was made making this disgrace to the movie industry. I only have it 1 star because there wasn't a way to give it negative stars. I guess they thought they were creating something inventive or imaginative but my six year old niece tells better stories.

Everyone involved in this film should be banned from ever making another movie.