The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie

Um. Idk why this thing exists. It's funny. Has some good themes ig. It's a VeggieTales movie tho. Hmmmmm 52/100

#44

Reviewer name and watch date: Andrew Thorpe, 6/22/2022, Wed.

Movie title and release year: The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything,, (2008)

52/100, E-

1a - Attraction value - upon first contact, is the idea appealing?: 4/10 1b - Attraction value - cast, plot, series, other medium influence?: 6/10 2a - Acting - casting - lead, supporting, villain, etc: 5/15 2b - Acting - character interaction, emotional connection: 9/15 3a - Dialogue - use for moving plot forward, nuance: 7/10 3b - Dialogue - writing quality, profanity, comedy: 12/15 4a - Plot - logical within universe, easy to follow, makes sense: 10/15 4b - Plot - quality, is it a good plot? Too long, unique?: 10/15 5a - Themes & motifs - symbolism, strong impressions: 12/15 5b - Themes & motifs - applicable ideas/thoughts, call to action: 5/5 6a - Cinematography - pace of editing, cuts, scene length, etc: 5/15 6b - Cinematography - angle, tone mood of shots: 5/15 7a - Effects - practical - explosions, large animals & vehicles: 4/5 7b - Effects - practical - costumes, weapons, props: 2/5 7c - Effects - practical - settings, scenery: 2/5 7d - Effects - special - CGI, green screen: 1/5 8a - Sound - score - conveying mood, determining attitude, etc: 10/20 8b - Sound - sound fx - foley, gunshots, explosions, dialogue, sound quality: 5/10 9a - Direction - quality - vision, concept, should this movie exist?: 5/10 9b - Direction - choices - execution of vision, cohesiveness: 5/15 10 - Bonus - up to 30 bonus points: 5/30 Total out of 250: 129/250.

I am a Veggietales fan. I enjoy most of the television episodes, although some are better than others. Jonah was a decent showing of the Veggietales on the big screen, but I have to say I am disappointed in Pirates.

I just found myself bored. The laughs were few, and very far between. The storyline was not very original, very predictable and I miss the Biblical lessons that Veggietales are known for. There was still a lesson, but not one we haven't heard before in a billion other better made movies for the secular audience.

I was trying to pay attention to how the kids in the theater were reacting. I heard one young boy behind me say "that was good" when the show ended, but I'm not sure if he was remarking on the "Rock Monster" (think B52s "Rock Lobster") song at the end, which is catchy and lighthearted (too bad more of the movie wasn't that way) or if he meant the whole show. The kids didn't seem to fidget too much while the movie was playing...but I was.

I just know that Big Idea has better ideas under its sleeve than this. I'm hoping their next venture is up to par.

Vegetables who act as if they are human (and eat vegetables of a different order).

Some of them act as pirates in a show, and become "real" pirates in just the same way, with just the same distance of abstraction.

Its complicated by the further addition of a mechanical race that emulates the vegetables (that are emulating humans). And a further magical ball that masters everything. On the other end are a herd of living cheese curls and another of boulders.

This is another of those films which have all their narrative value in the way these abstractions are drawn. The story doesn't matter in the slightest; no character matters. No "message" exists. It only has value in the way it engages the child-viewer, and the way it engages is by presenting layers of imagination, obvious methods of abstraction.

Kids used to play by imagining and acting stories. Its a value associated with inner dialog, and abstract reasoning. It is an essential life skill. Kids don't do that anymore because advertising has convinced them that play is toy-centric and stories come assembled from a store.

That opens up a need for movies that play with the abstractions of inner dialog, and visually explicable layers.

I wish they were more open, more ambiguous and child-generated. And we know enough about cognitive science to know that the age group that this targets shouldn't be watching TeeVee AT ALL.

But this IS pretty complex stuff.

For instance, they have no arms or legs, and this is dealt with differently. The arm hand operations are simply performed as if arms and hands did exist. The walking is handled quite differently, as if they really had no legs; they hop.

Ted's Evaluation -- 1 of 3: You can find something better to do with this part of your life.

This movie is not likely to win (or be nominated for) any awards. But that does not change the fact that it was an amusing distraction for the children. It seemed to be a variation of Galaxy Quest, which was a fun movie itself. This, of course, was more kid-oriented, and my three children (ages 3, 6, and 9) all enjoyed the show - the 9 year old enjoyed it in spite of himself.

It was a cute movie with a positive message that used humor to advance the story as opposed to a movie that makes up a story to move from pratfall to pratfall. It's a rare treat in movie-making these days, and one that is worth checking out - at a matinée.

I took my three year old daughter to the theatre to see this movie this afternoon. I've heard criticism of it for not having an explicit enough Christian theme - the Veggie Tales are, after all, a Christian outreach ministry to children. Some seem to think they've "crossed over." For those not familiar with that term, from a Christian point of view, a "cross over" is a Christian entertainer - usually a singer - who moves to the secular side of the entertainment world. Elvis Presley (from gospel singer to king of rock and roll) is probably the best known cross-over. The Veggie Tales crew probably left themselves open to that charge by doing an essentially secular Saturday cartoon for NBC. Having watched this movie, though, I think that particular criticism is unfair. It's true that Christian content isn't explicit in this movie, but it's certainly there. There are constant references to help from above; there's the king who tells the "heroes" that he'll always be with them; the same king looks out for widows and orphans; and there's the over-arching theme of the movie, which is that even little guys like Larry the Cucumber and Pa Grape can become big heroes, a la David and Goliath. So, if you get the analogies, you get the Christian content, much like C.S. Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia.

It wasn't the content that was the problem here. The story is about 3 unlikely heroes somehow going back in time to help rescue a kidnapped princess. The title comes from a "Silly Song by Larry" in one of the VT videos. It's cute, a bit scary at times for wee ones and promotes good values. But the problem as I see it is that Veggie Tales was never intended for the big screen. The videos are fairly short and usually include 3 or 4 different items - stories, songs, etc. The movie essentially takes one theme and goes with it for about an hour and twenty minutes, which is probably too much for the audience of little kids that were present while I was there. I think this was a decent effort to bring the Veggie Tales sense of values to the movies, but I don't think I'd want them to do it again. 6/10