Unearthed

1. Some people can't watch "shaky camera" scenes. It makes us sick. In this case there was no reason for it. If you want people to not be able to watch your movie, why even make it? Shaking the camera is not a substitute for special effects

2. Painfully loud is not scary. It's not dramatic. When the conversation scenes and the action scenes differ by 100 decibels, it's just painful and unpleasant.

When I have to spend the entire movie making drastic changes to the volume, I'm not being entertained.

In 2004, director Matthew Leutwyler's first feature 'Dead & Breakfast' received praise for some circles; none of which included me. Unfortunately three years on and while at least he's moved away from rubbish zombie films; he has unfortunately gone on to rubbish sci-fi/horror films, and this desert-set rendition of Alien is just that. It's a shame that this film is so terrible because the plot actually sounds like it could turn into something quite decent. The film takes place in New Mexico and focuses on a small town. A bunch of cows have been found dead and naturally the local farmers believe that a wolf is to blame. The farmers send for a Sheriff to deal with that, and a big truck accident that's blocking the road...but things take a turn for the unexpected when the Sheriff discovers that there's been an archaeological dig in the area, and that an Indian has accidentally released a giant CGI alien creature into the town. Then a bunch of people end up getting stuck and the alien picks them all off one by one.

OK, so let's break it down. Acting - terrible, special effects - terrible, plot - clichéd, death scenes - routine...so it really doesn't have all that much going for it. Emmanuelle Vaugier is the lead actress and she's very good looking, but doesn't have enough about her to carry the film. Luke Goss, one half of the awful eighties pop group 'Bros' also appears in the film (luckily, the other half isn't in it, and even luckier is the fact that he doesn't sing). The plot is turgid and uninteresting and basically gives us a little bit of info, followed by a death scene, followed by a bit more info. The central creature doesn't appear all that often - and that's really a good thing because it when it does appear, it's just disappointing CGI nonsense. The action sequences are no good either, mainly because director Matthew Leutwyler has opted for the MTv style quick cuts that never fail to ruin a movie (even, it would appear, one that is already ruined). Overall, this is a dreary and boring horror film that definitely isn't recommended.

In the desert area of Hat Creek, cows are found partially devoured and the farmers believe that a wolf is attacking the cattle. The alcoholic Sheriff Annie Flynn (Emmanuelle Vaugier) is called by the local farmer Rob Horn (M.C. Gainey) to witness the remains of an animal to request reimbursement from the government and for an accident with a tank truck that is blocking the road. However, Annie sooner discovers that an ancient alien creature sent to annihilate life on Earth hundreds of years ago was released by the Indian Kale (Luke Goss) during an archaeological excavation in the desert. The Indian Caya (Beau Garrett) and a group of travelers stranded in the spot without gas together with Annie and Kale try to find a means to destroy the alien and save mankind.

Watching "Unearthed" is a waste of time, since the forgettable story is nothing but a collection of clichés. Most of the characters are unpleasant and non-charismatic and the lead character is actually the anti-heroine Annie Flynn that is a drunken sheriff tormented by the accidental death of an Indian girl. The scene of Caya and the alien creature is another ridiculous rip-off of the classic scene of "Alien" with Sigourney Weaver. My vote is three.

Title (Brazil): "Aniquilação" ("Annihilation")

Kind of a bit confused by this one, as the 2006 films were so much better and seemed to push the boundaries of independent horror. So far, I've viewed "Borderland", "Deaths Of Ian Stone" and this little stinker, yet none have had much of an impact on me, especially not this one... Besides the obvious sub-par special effects, I found the dialog to be incredibly weak and amateurish. The acting (for the most part) is not that bad, but when talented actors are forced to deliver such unintelligible lines, you begin to feel a bit sorry for them. I found this most offensive when veteran character actor M.C. Gainey was on screen, I've always respected his talent, which is horribly wasted here. As for the special effects... What can I say? They suck, and suck real bad at that... Crappy CGI mixed in with shaky camera tricks and quick cuts, make it next to impossible to see what is supposed to be taking place, and the story doesn't fare much better. On a good note, much of the (daytime) cinematography looked above average and added a grainy feel to the desert scenery. I believe director Matthew Leutwyler will have a bright future as long as he leaves the writing to others, and throws away his CGI software.

After-all, no-one is frightened by Dr. Zoidberg...

This movie was playing at the Union Station cinema in Washington, at 7:30 on a Saturday night. The place should have been completely packed, but it was nearly empty. We soon learned why.

Unearthed has a generic, by-the-numbers plot crammed full of the same old tired horror-movie clichés. It had no direction to speak of. The camera work was amateurish at best, and the dialog nearly incoherent. The camera was pointing all over the place, providing an occasional glimpse of something like a face, a vehicle, or a building. Most scenes were too dark and cluttered to make out anything clearly.

Don't even imagine that this stuff belongs in the "so-bad-it's-good" category. Those movies at least have some originality, humor (even if it's unintentional), and other qualities that make them stand out. They are the kind of movies that people remember, whether they want to or not. Unearthed has nothing worth remembering. I can barely recall even one single scene; the only thing I can remember clearly is waiting for it to be over. It seemed to drag on for several hours or more.

Very soon, this thing will be dead, buried, and totally forgotten. May it rest in peace--FOREVER.