Return to Eden

Like the US show from which I suspect this was blatantly copied, this was one show where the bad guys where much more interesting, believable, and let's face it, much more fun than the good guys. The main protagonists are all fabulously tanned, wealthy and good looking (Rebecca Gilling, Megan Williams and Peta Topanno were absolutely STUNNING in those days), and bore about as much semblance to reality as JR Ewing did, too. Daniel Abineri was a wonderful villain; Peta mad a good counterfoil to him; and Rebecca - well, she was just overwhelmed by sugar and spice.

Still, in its time it was fun to watch, with devilish plots and counter plots, with inscrutable villains and squeaky clean hero's. If it came on again I would certainly move heaven and earth to watch it; but this time i suspect that I would laugh a heck of a lot louder whilst doing so.

Following the wild success of the 1983 miniseries Return To Eden came back a couple of years later in the guise of a glossy weekly serial.

Set seven years after the original Stephanie is back and an old enemy is trying to bring her world crashing down.

This series of Return to Eden is much more like American dramas of the same era, namely Dynasty, Falcon Crest, etc, but with more wit and a cast who seem to play their roles with their tongues slightly in cheek.

The plots are typical of 80s excess - company takeovers, faked deaths, and bedroom scenes galore.

Peta Toppano steals the show as Jilly Stewart, delivering her bitchy lines with camp exuberance whilst wearing ever more amazingly over the top costumes as the series progresses. All of the cast are great but special mentions have to go to the lovely Rebecca Gilling playing Stephanie, and James Smillie as her husband Dan Marshall who delivers all of his lines in a true matinée idol style.

This series came to an abrupt ending after just 22 episodes due to poor ratings in it's native Australia and allegedly because the show was so expensive to produce.

If you love your soaps to be glamorous, your story lines over the top and your shoulder pads huge then Return to Eden is the show for you!

The show was really well done and the actors brilliantly cast (especially Peta Topano and Rebecca Gilling). Unlike other TV series at the time, "Return to Eden" was actually engaging beyond the banal and cliché that was so prevalent in other productions. While you could miss an episode (or five) of your average soap opera and still be able to follow the story line, no two episodes of "Eden" were alike. The viewer became instantly engaged in the suspense-filled plot portraying the fall and then the phoenix-like rise of Stephanie Harper, love and deceit, family feud and greed. It is really a shame that they had to wrap it up so hurriedly due to funding limitations. I would definitely watch it again if I had a chance and would welcome its release on DVD.

In the 1986 weekly series, Jilly is released from prison, only to discover that she's Stephanie's half-sister. And what's Stephanie's brilliant idea? To force them all to live together under the same roof and somehow magically reconcile, even though Jilly just wants to ruin her life. Then we get more convoluted family drama involving sibling rivalry, dubious paternity claims, and characters inexplicably jumping into bed with each other at the drop of a hat.

But perhaps the most infuriating aspect of Return to Eden is its complete disregard for any semblance of realism. People miraculously come back from the dead, characters make decisions that defy logic, and plot twists are more like pretzels than anything resembling a coherent story. It's like a never-ending soap opera where everyone seems to be ruled by their hormones, throwing logic and reason out the window and expecting us to swallow this nonsense with a straight face. For example, Stephanie's daughter Sarah has a thing for a man who was once suspected to be Stephanie's illegitimate son with an Arab prince when she was just 17. I mean, seriously, that plotline is as far-fetched as they come. And Jake, Greg's brother, initially shows up for revenge but can't help falling in love with Stephanie. It's like the entire cast has a collective amnesia about their motivations, constantly giving in to their base desires.

Return to Eden is a baffling and melodramatic mess of a show where the characters make ridiculous decisions, the plotlines are absurd, and logic takes a backseat to lust. It's like watching a soap opera on steroids, but without the charm. Save yourself the agony and watch something else - anything else. This show is a disaster of epic proportions, and not even the most die-hard soap opera fan could salvage it. I can't believe people actually watched this and didn't cringe themselves into oblivion.