In the Mix

The contender ship for my worst movie of 2005 was poised on a knife edge between two truly appalling movies. Deuce Bigalow and Alone In The Dark. It truly was going to be a tough one to decide between a bad comedy, and a bad horror film, both are two evils that take some effort (or cocaine) to pull off.

However that debate is now finally settled. Because thanks to RnB star, Usher Raymond, or better just known as Usher, we now know which out of those two movies will win my award for worst movie of 2005.

Neither.

In The Mix, Usher's screen debut is a movie that I will only ever watch again if stapled to the floor with a gun pointed into my head and my eyelids forced open. Bar Gigli, it is the worst pop star movie ever created on this earth and gives some of my top ten all time worst a damn good run for their money.

As I told you in my review of Gigli, Pop stars can not act. There's a whole shelf on Blockbuster Video chock-full of evidence of this. And in this case, this is not just any old pop star we are talking about folks. This is the dark world known as Usher, a man whose entire CV is living testimony to the fact that talent, quality and decency are not needed to become famous on this earth.

So it's now time to ask John Raymond (the director of this joke) the £1m question. "What in the sweet blue living hell were you smoking when you allowed Usher not just to act in this movie, but be an EXECUTIVE PRODUCER in it also?" OK, so even if Usher wasn't on this team the movie would still suck anyway but we really need to draw the line at Pop Stars directing their own dreadful movies as well as acting.

And speaking of the acting and role play. Lifeless, and so unbelievably stereotypical and unoriginal that it actually features a gangster CALLED Fat Toni! Where's Normski when you need him! It's boring, poorly conceived and just plain painful to look at and suffer.

But what I hate the most about this movie, is the same thing I hate about all of these type of movies. Self Indulgence. It's bad enough with the likes of Carey and J'Lo pushing these vanity projects just to make some more cash, but when the celebrity is as truly awful as Usher is it's beyond hate. It's vitriolic rage.

If you must watch this trash, please, please find some way of doing so for free. Even if your intent is to heckle it, make sure that you don't give either a cinema ticket booth or a DVD retailer even dime. Because your money is going to Usher. And if you in any way knowingly give your money to this talentless imbecile, then you are a dead set moron. Better still.....

Don't watch this film.

PS: To those who gave it good reviews. Get A Life.

Let me just say that I was surprised when I saw "In the Mix" settling down in the Bottom 100. Surprised, but not in a bad way. I'm just glad that people see this movie as what it is, and not "how famous Usher is" or "how good we WISH this movie was"

Because, to put it bluntly, I went in the theater expecting junk, and junk is what I got. I don't think that there is anyone out there who expected great things from Usher, but I most certainly did not expect the worst movie that I have ever seen.

So, let's go over why this movie was so bad. Firstly, the acting is quite dreadful. Usher acts like a robot, and sometimes almost forgets to show emotion. Emmanuelle Chriqui is not half bad, and neither is the supporting cast, but Usher's artificial acting spoils all of their efforts. The plot is nothing original, but nothing incredibly awful. With some different acting, hey, I might actually be able to sit through 95 minutes of it without getting close to crying at the pathetic attempt at a movie.

So, here's what I recommend:

Don't watch the movie at all (unless you're one of those people who try to watch really bad movies just to see how bad they are)

If you MUST watch it, wait for it to come out on DVD, and rent it. Or wait for a stupid friend of yours to buy it, and borrow it. Make sure that you do not waste any money on this piece of junk. If you want what's best for you, spare yourself, and don't watch it at all.

This movie is about as good as what would have been found in the toilet anyway! Perhaps the most racist movie I have seen in my life. Examples: 1. Usher's favorite restaurant is a fried chicken place, where he orders "the usual", which turns out to be...you guessed it, fried chicken and collard greens

2. Although neither Usher nor his friends are gangsters in the movie, it seems that the only things black people use as currency during card games are guns.

3. "I heard black men can dance" 4. All Italians are mobsters. 5. I like Usher's little minstrel show dance at the end of the movie. Overall, I was disappointed with myself for donating any money to this racist cause. I will never again watch an Usher movie unless he puts on blackface and admits that In the Mix was about as racist as the KKK would hope it to be.

Heavy-hitting R&B star Usher apparently has a following, but they don't seem to be lining up for this lame vanity project that's being palmed off as a real movie. The fact that In the Mix was directed by the fellow who gave us The Adventures of Pluto Nash enters into the equation, though I doubt that too many Usher fans have concerned themselves with who directed him in his first starring role. Maybe they just smelled a stinker. They would not have been wrong. Star vehicles like this are hardly new. Even Bing Crosby's earlier films are little more than attempts to cash in on the crooner's radio and recording popularity, and it would be a kindness to pass over the bulk of Elvis' screen career. That is, it would be at any other time than when discussing In the Mix, which makes me long for the brilliant writing and emotional complexity of It Happened at the World's Fair. At least in Bing and Elvis' movies, the filmmakers let their stars do what they were known for - namely, sing. Here, however, someone got the bright idea that Usher (Usher Raymond, to give him his full name) should just act. Perhaps they should have determined whether he was capable of that feat first. Let it be said that as an actor, Usher would probably make a pretty good zither player.

Not only was this movie poorly written, it goes to show us what most of us knew already. That is the simple fact that Usher can not act. Some films of this nature, have a borderline cute plot or fun story, this completely lacks both. This is yet another attempt from a pop-star(if you deem him worthy of that title), trying to make the transition from music to film and failing miserably. Do not waste your ten bucks going to see this movie as , box office attendance will plummet the DVD should be on the shelf by Christmas. It is pretty sad, that only because the fact of someones popularity in a certain arena, that they are automatically pushed into another and we are suppose to accept it. I would hope that this movies target audience(which is i'm sure 13 year old girls) would reject it as I had.