Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis

THIS is what we waited for? THIS is what we've been given after more than a year of hype? I can't believe how bad this was! It's not funny, it's not scary, it's not even "so bad it's good", it's just "so bad it's really bad"...

We are talking about some grade-z bad direction, I'm not sure what was worse: watching everyone don mining helmets to explore a research facility or watching 2 of the characters test their walkie-talkies while standing five feet apart in the same shot! No wait, the worst was the fistfight (?!) between the talking (?!) zombie and the human...or any scene with the girl in pigtails. Speaking of the characters, this movie has the most unlikable group of (horrible) actors you could possibly imagine. Most of them seem to think they are in a high-school play and overact accordingly, with ridiculously exaggerated expressions of (insert emotion here). The others can barely muster up enough inflection in their voices to break past monotone...and when they do, it's only at the end of the line, so everything they say sounds like a question.

I'm not usually one to speak too badly about films because it takes a lot of work to make one. In fact, I usually give more credit than is probably deserved and therefore end up liking (or at least not minding) films everyone else hates. I thought "House of the Dead" tried too hard but was mildly entertaining and found good points to "Cry_Wolf"...that should pretty much put my movie viewing into perspective.

With this film, there just isn't anything to speak highly about. Originally, I gave this film a rating of "1" but changed it to a "2" after seeing part 5. I didn't think it possible, but part 5 is worse than this one. As a matter of fact, the only positive thing I can say about this film is that it is slightly more bearable than part 5 and I guess that's worth something.

I thought it was hysterical when they put a preview for 'Land of the Dead' with this movie...it's like they couldn't make it look bad enough on it's own, they had to give us something for comparison!

If you're a fan of the first Return of the Living Dead movie, please don't watch this one. You'll loose ten years of your life from aggravation. The film is supposed to be set in the United States, but was actually shot in Romania and most of the actors' accents are worse than Jurgen Prochnov's on a good day. The Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis won't even qualify as a "good bad cult movie" 20 years from now. Parts 2 and 3 were already pretty bad, but this one is just embarrassing. Trash, Suicide and even Julie Walker will roll over in their graves. I wonder if the makers have even bothered to watch the first three films. Unlike Romero's walking corpses, the Return of the Living Dead zombies are not supposed to die when you shoot them in the head! Nor do they give speeches or box. The movie does have one thing going for it, though: it proves that all those B actors they got playing KGB agents in cheap 80s crime flicks got their accents right after all.

Last week, December 2, 2005, I was at the Hollywood home of the Director, Ellory Elkayam, who is married to my niece. I told Ellory about the comments on IMDb, so we logged in and read what was written by draven528, brennan79, ibanez747, jsauce, and many others.

Ellory said, "I don't disagree with what any of these people wrote." and stated that he needed the money and accepted the job for Return of the Living Dead 4: Necropolis and Return of the Living Dead 5: Rave to the Grave. He stated that he had no control over the script and that the whole experience was something that he wishes to forget. He may send in his own critique of these movies to IMDb in the future.

I was really impressed with the atmosphere created by the first ten minutes in Chernobyl. The grim surreality of the actual setting perfectly set the mood for living death.

Unfortunately, the film plummets from that point. The two-dimensional characters and talentless cast are forgivable--no one rents a zombie flick for Shakespearean depth--but is basic continuity too much to ask from the fourth installment of a series? Or how about some black humor, which made the first two films stand out from vanilla zombie flicks? After the Chernobyl opening, there's no reason to waste the next hour of your life. There's not even a titty flash to wake you up. Peter Coyote was a near-relief from the rest of the dreck, planting his thumb firmly in cheek as if to say, "Yeah, I know: this film is runny crap and I apologize, but I have gambling debts to pay off by Thursday or they'll break my kneecaps. But hey, dig my impression of a James Bond villain." Lots of people gave this film a 10 rating. Don't be fooled--they must be friends and family of the film-makers. "Dawn of the Dead" deserves a 10; the original "Return of the Living Dead" an 8 or 9. But this movie has next to nothing going for it.

Upon my anticipation for the two RTOLD sequels, I was extremely disappointed to encounter these terrible cop-outs for sci-fi pictures. I didn't think that the rape of a film-series could ever evolve on this level. However, as I caught the film on Sci-Fi, I saw the 4th one first and thought it was'nt SO bad.. simple story, simple structure. Very poor and dry acting sets the pace as a group of Teenagers bent on dirt-biking, find themselves trying to save a friend from a chemical company which is harvesting our favorite zombie-making chemical.

Friends ZEKE(Elvin Dandel), JULIAN(John Keefe), BECKY(Amie Chadwick), CODY(Corey Hardick), CARLOES(Toma Dinala), JULIANS kid-brother JAKE(Alexandru Geoana), ZEKES exigirlfriend KATIE(Jana Kramer), MIMI(DIANA MUNTEANU) and DARREN(Razvan Oprea) are all dirt-biking lovers. However, after ZEKE wrecks his bike, he finds himself presumed dead and in the care of JULIANS uncle CHARLES'(Best actor thus far PETER COYOTE) company HybraTech. The crew of teens then go special-ops as they try and attempt to rescue ZEKE, and accidentally release numerous zombies into the facility.

The cheese-fest starts up when the characters are all unbelievably older than they are. The plot is so dried-up, but recycles itself with oodles of zombie-action. But don't get excited, the zombies are a major disappointment.. remember the invincible undead which made the ROTLD series interesting? Well, they are'nt here. We do have the talking, brain-craver's from before, but on a reduced One-Shot-To-The-Head Romero basis. One thing that also ticks me is that Every time someone usually got bitten, it was a zombie chomping into the same spot on the back of the skull... Every time. It got to expecting.

Despite all the crap this new line of sequels adds to the mix, it IS a rather entertaining zombie film... except that one zombie has a thing to want to start street-fighting. Regardless, this IS better than its follow-up, ROTLD 5: Rave To The Grave. I'd check this one out again to see the good special-effects make-up, to some of the more thought out kills. The major thing that should be redone is changing the name from ROTLD to some other zombie film... it would've been much better, speaking also for the sequel.

Overrall, if your looking for a bonified sequel to the infamous Russel Streiner film-collage, don't touch this with a 10-foot-pole.