Perverted Stories: The Movie

There's no doubt about it, this is one messed up skin flick. Geriatric tag-team action, dick-faced mountain men, necrophilia, and even some creative genital monsters. If you're looking for something to put on to really spice up your love-life, then this is for you.

The story is basically about three dumb sluts going to a rave only to be side-tracked so they can score some drugs. Well the side-tracking obviously turns into a lot of bizarre sex, which eventually starts with two old drug-dealin geezers making our lead lady get flipped and banged in a whole slew of positions. But what made the scene stand-out is that the old farts were just twenty-something dressed in silly old-man make-up. And to top it off, they were constantly talking like old men and saying old men lines like referring to the girls' snatch: they don't make'em like they used to. And surprisingly it worked for a few solid chuckles.

Unfortunately for this jerk, the movie slowly began to lose it's charm after the old men sequence and by the end I was just wondering when it'd end or if they were going to introduce a new chick to the party. You'd think a dick-faced mountain man will be an life-changing sight, right? Nah, it was just quick eye-raiser which after 15 mins of silly fake penis banging, got pretty old pretty fast. And in my opinion the situations just kept on getting less and less fun to watch.

With creative ideas like the ones mentioned above, the movie sounds like a fantastic time-waster. But like I said, tended to grow tiresome. For myself one of the biggest things here was the level of sluttiness these chicks displayed. These girls were total whores. Especially the lead, who seemed she'd be gung-ho for anything thrown at her. So, if you like your porn stars loose as a goose and looking like high school drop outs, then this is for you. But if you like your porn with maybe a tad less beef curtains, maybe think twice. But I don't think that'll be your deciding factor, since there are some truly whacky things going down here. It had the creativity and the gusto, but it just didn't have that extra special ingredient to make it totally worthwhile.

After 36 volumes (35 of them directed by Jim Powers), this Jeff Steward porn series finally concludes with a feature-length version, replacing the standard four separate vignettes format.

Its content closely resembles the previous segments, but with just a single nightmare/surrealistic tale of three young girls accosted on their way to attending a rave in the desert.

Her two friends seeking drugs, the blonde girl driving the car (Julie Night) foolishly takes up hitchhiker Damien Michaels' offer of drugs (how could you go to a rave without them?) by entering a remote house right out of Texas Chainsaw Massacre mold.

Inside are two very old coots (Scott Lyons and Dirty Harry with crude facial makeup FX), with Julie forced to give them blow jobs as barter for the drugs. She ends up getting d.p.'d and double-anal-penetrated but emerges with the drugs.

The three girls get fast acting results from the drugs, leading to the next three sex scenes which, not surprisingly, resemble individual vignettes similar to previous entries in the PS series.

Gen Padova ends up with two guys (Anthony Hardwood and Don Fernando) with long penis prosthetics sticking out of their foreheads. Outdoor sex ensues, with Gen d.p.'d conventionally and also by the prosthetic dicks, one of which also handily is positioned for her to go airtight during a d.p. Oddest element of this scene has the prosthetics inserted with condoms on them, but the real dicks humping Gen bareback. Go figure.

Julie also encounters a totem pole prop shaped like a 6-foot high phallus, which she caresses until a fountain of cum is shot into the air. Later on she encounters a crudely designed monster which swallows her whole (vore porn style), later to emit her unharmed through its as*hole.

Julie finds both her friends dead, with redhead Maggie Star carried by the hitchhiker to a shack, where Julie finds her inside: it's an abbatoir filled with hanging meat (waiting for Sly Stallone to arrive for a workout, presumably).

Nude Maggie is alive and goes into a paroxysm of dance as blood pours all over her from the ceiling. Mr. Pete appears and they have a threesome including Julie, the all-out gonzo sex with bodies and genitalia covered in the very realistic looking fake blood. Holy unsanitary, Batman!

Finale is Steward and Powers at their best (or worst if you don't buy into this sort of nonsense in the first place). The hitchhiker prepares a bathtub full of bleach and we see him pull out of it a blonde corpse (lovely, if dead, Jessica Darlin).

He takes her corpse to a room decorated with dolls on the wall, and a bed covered in plastic, a definite uh-oh! bit of foreshadowing. But instead of chopping up her corpse into pieces, Damien takes the movie into necrophilia territory, humping the corpse thoroughly. Jessica's fine acting gives the corpse some realism, and Powers extends this into horror with her scary looking eyes.

Low point here is the usual fake ending, combining elements of "only a dream" for Julie with the corny final twist of evidence that it might have been real.

My chief takeaways are that this served as a transition for Powers to his far more elaborate (and bigger budgeted) "Dementia" series for Sin City which thematically resembled the "blonde's nightmare" depicted here.

And he also seems to be summing up the pernicious trend in porn pioneered in the 1990s by Max Headroom and the team of Lizzy Borden/Rob Black, which helped drive quality porn out of the market (Gresham's Law), replaced by increasingly violent and grotesque sex act depiction. Not coincidentally, Max, Lizzy, Rob and Powers were all arrested on obscenity charges (Max, Lizzy and Rob all ended up serving time in prison), the powers that be finding them to have gone too far.