The Poseidon Adventure

How can I begin? It should have been called The Love Boat VII. There is nothing even interesting about this movie. Would anyone involved win this movie use it on their CV? It was one of four movies on a $5 DVD in the delete bin at Walmart. This movie cost $1.25 and at that was overpriced. I noticed that the Australian version of this thing was considerably shorter than the general release version and had we not fast forwarded through every piece of "significant" dialogue I would have kicked myself for not searching out the Aussie release.

I am somewhat grateful however knowing that should I decide to finish my story about the workday of a toll-booth collector, there are producers out there waiting. Rutger Hauer and Steve Gutenberg are already cast.

A chimpanzee could write a better screenplay by sticking a crayon where the sun don't shine and squatting over a copy of the National Enquirer.

While the original movie was quite suspenseful this movie is over three hours long which not only makes the suspense last longer but also allows you to focus more on the characters and their own personal issues. This movie really had me really excited especially during the final twenty minutes, which grabbed me by the throat and refused to let go!

This movie has the same basic storyline as the original film, a capsized cruise ship the Poseidon and a group of survivors makes an audacious attempt to reach the hull of ship while trying to bypass many life threatening hazards and death traps. But while the Poseidon was capsized by as tsunami in the original film, in this TV remake the Poseidon is capsized by a terrorist bombing. Also while the original film only told the story from the survivors point of view, this film also explains the situation outside the Poseidon. For example the ocean radio monitoring service trying to figure out what happened to the Poseidon when all radio contact is lost, and once the situation is learned we see the navy and marines racing against time to reach the Poseidon and discussing how they are going to rescue any survivors.

However there will also be another remake of 'The Poseidon Adventure' released early next year. This time it will be a major film called 'Poseidon'. Why are they making to remakes so close together? I'm not sure but it has been done before. For example in 1996 a TV movie was released of 'Titanic' just a year before James Camerons multiple Oscar winning film was released.

Also I wonder why this TV movie was released in Australia before it is even released in America? But it's good that we Aussies get to be the first to see this great TV remake of a classic suspense thriller. All together this is certainly one highly suspenseful movie and I certainly recommend it to anyone who is a fan of the original film.

I don't remember much about the original because it has been so many years. But surely it was better than this. The sight of a man falling through a stained glass window (one of the clips shown numerous times over the years) seemed much more exciting the first time around.

If this version had any redeeming qualities, it was the story of the troubled Clarke family. Teenage daughter Shelby was cute when she complained and when she fell for the doctor immediately. Later her skills as a nursing student proved valuable. I really liked her younger brother Dylan as he tried to film what was happening on the ship. The parents bickered like any couple having a hard time, and we found out their marriage may have been in real trouble.

I also liked Bishop Schmidt and sort of liked the romantic storyline (assuming he wasn't Catholic, though he probably was) with Belle Rosen.

The woman in charge of the rescue operation, whose name I don't remember, had such a wonderful attitude. Regardless of how many people are saved, it's a tragedy if any die. The actress playing her was good.

The first five minutes were a waste, though, with the type violence one might find in the movies of Jean-Claude Van Damme. I can't really evaluate the quality of what happened after the terrorist act which, combined with some poor judgment by the captain during a storm, led to you-know-what. For one thing, my NBC signal wasn't good that night. From what I could tell, nothing was spectacular. The rescue efforts by those on the ship and outside the ship were interesting at best. I really got tired of the fighting over who was in charge.

The only purpose for a remake was introducing modern technology. Not really worth it.

This is without a doubt the worst TV movie I have ever seen.

How tripe like this gets through to the point of being screened is beyond me.

The acting is shied, the script rubbish, the effects.. well, what effects, there is no tension, no drama... nothing.

In our house we were laughing all the way through and predicting who was going to die and when. It was remarkably easy especially at the end when the "terrorist" and the hot chick who had the affair with married guy had to die. (This did raise the question as to why the cheating husband lives but no the single hot chick?)

By accident, we rented this instead of the original. I couldn't imagine this movie being any worse. Several scenes and characters have been added, which have no real value. There's the guy from police academy in some awful "divorce" angle. A fake ex-American idol contestant sings a whole song for no reason. There's a kids who's not just annoying, but is making humorous handi-cam films with the help of the zany crew. And oh yeah, there's a terror attack, because the dead horse is only half-beaten by TV standards, I guess. There's also a creepy old crewman who's trying to get with some teenager, and the priest in this film is a far weaker character/actor.

Add in some of the most un-inspired editing, music, and dialogue imaginable and that sums up the worst of this movie. I'd rather draw a picture of boat upside-down and stare at it for two hours rather than repeat watching 10 min. of this film.