Death Tunnel

I rented this "movie" five months ago at my local video store and it still rates as the worst thing ever to enter my DVD player. Imagine my surprise (and secret pleasure) when today I saw that it is now an ex-rental sale at the store for a staggering $4 Australian. I took it to the counter and was told that most of the staff have taken the movie home and watched it for free but none of them were able to watch the movie in its entirety, it was THAT bad. I told him about the producers posting on IMDb and we had a laugh about it. He offered it free if I hired out an overnight movie, so I agreed.

I returned to the counter after picking out some other movies, collected my new prize possession and returned home. On the way, I thought about the different ways I could destroy the DVD - burn it, smash it with a hammer, axe it to pieces etc. I eventually decided to simply bury it. I knew the perfect place for it, a twenty foot cylindrical hole that was left behind when we removed our old bore-water pump (I'm in rural Australia folks). A perfect fit, Death Tunnel disappeared down its very own DVD Tunnel. As I was urinating into the hole, I realized I had made a huge mistake.

Now I've got a copy of Death Tunnel buried in my backyard, twenty feet down. Whereas before it was simply a movie I hated and tried to forget about, now its a movie I hate that I will never be able to be rid of. Its right there, in my backyard. Twenty feet down. Untouchable. Preserved. I stare at the spot every time I pass a window, like I murdered a person and secretly stashed the body out there. I've considered pouring petrol down the hole but I can't be sure if that will destroy it, I've considered firing up the tractor and excavating it like a madman on a mission. Damn you Death Tunnel, I should have just dropped you in the bin like the guy at the counter suggested.

Jesus Christ.

I want my 90 minutes back.

It seems like people involved in making the movie must be writing all of the incredibly glowing reviews on here, so after having watched this gutted, burning shell of what could be called a movie I decided to write a little something as a stern and honest warning to people who don't like wasting their time and money.

Death Tunnel, Death Tunnel, oh god end my pain, Death Tunnel.. How could you be so terrible? You have so much going for you on paper:

1) Creepy setting

2) ...

OK, so you really don't have so much going for you, so why did I expect so much out of you? I think it was because I read an interview with your director and he name-dropped a few movies that I really enjoyed as some of his favorite movies of all time. I guess that's makes us all individuals; we can all share seemingly endless qualities with one another as a people, but not all of us have the ability to convince people to pay them to defecate.

Were I able to find someone to financially back my excrement, I would first want to know what they, my financiers, wanted to do with said excrement. Were they going to wear it as a hat? Possibly use it to plug up a leaky faucet? Try and make other people pay more money than they invested in it to sit down and watch this turd for 90 minutes? OK, hold the phone, you're telling me that people would pay money to look at my feces if you had your say about it, Daddy Warbucks? It's a deal, but, would you mind if I polished it up a bit? After all, it is MY feces.

Oh Death Tunnel, if only the people responsible for your excretion wanted you to be anything more than a pile of droppings... If only they could see that, as you are, you are so much dead weight around the shoulders of humankind, the yoke of Rushed Out Crap to DVD that is synonymous with other movies that fail as miserably as you do. If only people wouldn't stand for your brand of completely banal tripe with horrible, ADD editing glazed on in post to try and stupefy the audience since there's no other form of emotional connection to them that you are capable of presenting.

If you love your life, if you cherish your time spent being alive, please, resist any and every urge that you may have to watch this travesty of cinema. Cut off your own feet if it would stop you from walking to the store where you might accidentally buy it because you think the box art looks interesting. Gouge out your own eyes if it somehow finds itself in your DVD player. You might even want to go so far as to remove your own tongue if it would keep you from mentioning the movie to someone else.

This movie is Death Tunnel, after all, and yes, it really is that bad.

In Kentucky, five sexy students are trapped to spend the night in an abandoned sanatorium, where many people were killed in the 30's when the location was devastated by an infectious white plague, as a prank of their school mates. Along the night, while trying to escape from the asylum, they are haunted by ghosts and the survivors disclose that they are descendant of the victims and are reviving their deaths.

"Death Tunnel" is a messy, noisy and boring rip-off of many other movies, with a group of students trapped in a haunted building. The screenplay and the edition are terrible, using unsuccessfully noise to startle the viewers. The acting is not bad, but the best of this forgettable crap are the girls wearing lingerie. The conclusion is simply awful. My vote is one.

Title (Brazil): "O Túnel da Morte" ("The Death Tunnel")

Well made,decent acting,terrible film!Simply put,this film is nothing more than a supernatural slasher/teens in trouble movie,it tries so hard to be something special and fails miserably.There are so many flashbacks its hard to tell whats going on,instead of building the scares up the viewer is faced with countless images thrown at them that there is very little shock value left after the first quarter of the film.The story line is one that has been used literally hundreds of times before,I won,t spoil the story but is consists of five girls in a sorority type initiation etc,etc. .if you are a fan of horror movies you will have seen it many times before.A good location is wasted on a movie that tries to be too intelligent for its own good.Poor.

Death Tunnel was more than disappointing... it was abysmally bad. DT looked promising but unfortunately it showed a dull directing with lots of flashes, no gore, no spooks, no sense at all and an unbelievable pain to watch.

I do not have the habit to walk out the theater unless the movie finishes, but with Death Tunnel there were plenty of times where I thought about it. But I stay, hoping that something good could come... frustration... it never did.

The only positive thing about this mess was the hot chicks and the beautiful set of the sanatorium... that's why I thought it was going to be cool to see it. The trailer just got me wrong.

Death Tunnel is really a Death Tunnel... you feel you're trying to reach the light at the end, but the faster you try to walk or run, it seems the endurance never ends.

Avoid at all costs or check it if you like to torture yourself!