Robot Bastard!

Not cool, not funny, not stylish and not exciting. Why people pour so much time and energy into projects like this is beyond me. It served no purpose as a pilot, surely nobody would care to watch this, even on the Sci-Fi channel. There was nothing to "pilot". If it were funny, the crappy production value would be excusable. If it were stylish, it might be fun. If it had any kind of character development then someone might give a damn. This was a waste of time through and through. And to think, some guy probably took a year out of his life to get this made. If you want to watch a poorly made cardboard robot walk around for 17 minutes, than knock yourself out, otherwise watch the trailer on youtube and you've seen the film.

Surely the energy put into this project could have been better spent on a decent plasma TV or at least a real robot of some kind, one of those vacuum cleaner types perhaps.

I remember a scene from The Sarah Silverman Program ("Mongolian Beef"): Brian breaks in on Steve while he's producing an ultra lo-budget video for YouTube. They have a little conversation in which it's pointed out that, while Steve's work may not be Oscar-worthy, the vast bulk of stuff posted to YouTube is worse. This makes Steve feel *much* better, and he carries on with his work.

I loved Schrab's work on that show. I sincerely believe he's of the school where he doesn't see storyboarding/pacing/editing as a compensation for lack of funds: He sees them as essential, no matter what the budget may be. And I agree. And Robot Bastard does a pretty good job of delivering the dramatic goods. It's meticulously "content'ed" and paced, so the payload denouement is faithfully brought home.

So, seeing how I've just written an apologetic tome regarding the production values, what about that story? I think it's great! The setup is straightforward, and it doesn't waste time following those gas lines to the TWO! TWO! TWO! truly surprising twists at the end!

Add in the delight of seeing/hearing genuinely talented and creative acting/voice work, well-directed, and you've got a wild and warm sci-fi outer space robot shoot-'em-up!

Hitchcock, Kubrick, Scorsese, Kusosawa and Bergman, titans of the movie industry, visionaries, and men names greater than time, and yet, they must step aside and make room for Robert Schrab, who has presented us with a blinding vision which the psyche can only endeavor to grasp in its entirety.

What can we truly say about 'Robot Bastard!' that has already not been said? Honor, desire, betrayal, and sacrifice, all these thing so elegantly presented in this masterpiece, aptly named 'Robot Bastard!'. Like an artist who deftly wields his sable brush, Schrab paints for us a new place and a new time where the essence and depth of idealism, and self-sacrifice are starkly portrayed, coming through the screen to penetrate into the deepest recesses of the audiences' hearts and minds.

As we watch we inadvertently begin to question our own humanity, and what makes a man a man and a machine only a machine. And although we believe we have answers, the question continues to roll around in our minds, shattering our preconceived belief system for the answer is greater than mere words can describe.

This film will change you, it will elicit tears of sadness and of joy, and in the end, the bittersweet ending, will leave you empty, and yet fulfilled at the same time. This is, one of the great films of our time, and any time, and is the ultimate justification and recompense to the creator who gave us the ability to reason and the free will to carry out our desires.

Fin.

Robot Bastard is pure cinema. It made me realize how great short films could be.

The costume and set designs, while all brilliant, are simple and old school. Robot himself is like those old robot toys from the early to mid nineties. And the mummies are slimy and simple.

The script is also great. A simple line like "Die Robot DIE!" has never sounded better. The exchanges between Robot and Evil Robot are the best parts.

Jeff Davis is great as the bad guy, and Robia is super cute in that school girl outfit. Anything I have ever seen that has had Rob Schrab related in some small way is brilliant. Watch out. When he starts making features he will rule us all!

OK hater, thanks for the feedback. Who cares if it was good or not, at least the creator is doing something he loves. If you love hating, then it's a win-win I guess. As for my take; is it great? No, but I did enjoy it. It appealed to me on a sort of 11 year old sci-fi action level. Being a fan of the original Doctor Who I find it very easy to overlook the low budget look in favor of imagination. I thought the overall style was pretty cool and Robot himself looked great. Sure, some of the timing and jokes were off but it is sort of an off-beat film. I thought the overall idea was pretty cool and interesting and even the sense of humor was quirky if a bit rough. Too bad it's all that exists, but maybe that's a good thing (in a good way).