Glass Trap

It has been a long time since The Poseidon Adventure, but I have to say that Stella Stevens still looks good. Maybe it's the water in Mississippi.

She is a real bit*h of a boss to Sharon (Siri Baruc), who just happens to see the first ant. No. it's not Them, but it is a throwback to that period. Splattering blood looks so much better in color.

The ants themselves were terrible. They were so fake that only the clueless would be truly scared. Even the gun they found looked fake.

Things get interesting when Martin Kove shows to battle the ants.

MIla (Diana Kauffman) and LuLu (Ana Alexander) provide much needed distractions throughout.

This movie was so terrible it was amusing. I understand it is just a low budget B movie but I swear there were so many indiscretions that could have been avoided that made it very frustrating to watch.

My favorite part was when someone BURNS A CD on $30 DVD player that they pretend is part of a computer. I know, I have the exact DVD model.

The characters aren't consistent with their personalities. I enjoy stupid movies, but this one was more than I could handle because it was simply bad. B movies have the excuse of having a low budget, but in this case, I think if they had 20 Million dollars and the same help and talent, they couldn't have done any better because they aren't capable.

On a final note, I'm not sure how, but movies from this DEJ company have been on high order at my local Blockbuster. There were a couple actual blockbuster mainstream movies recently, where they don't keep many in stock. Then these "C. Thomas" movies come out and they keep 20 of them in stock. So don't be fooled by the "War of the Worlds" in your movie store right now, it's a B movie, not Tom Cruise.

This slimy creature-feature starts '80s teen hit C. Thomas Howell. Scientists have created genetically altered giant ants in a bizarre experiment which backfires terribly as the creatures go on a kill-crazy rampage. It turns into a world where giant insects run rampant. Survivors barricade themselves in a skyscraper in an attempt to avoid the roaming menace, but even that's no guarantee of safety. Its a little bloody, not gory enough for my taste though. A thoroughly entertaining B-movie; GLASS TRAP was directed by cult horror director Fred Olen Ray who also directed "HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS" Another one of my favorites.

Don't expect "Them," and you won't be disappointed. Take it as the SciFi Channel intended it to be, a lighthearted, escapist giant ant made-for-TV flick with funny lines strewn throughout, and you'll be entertained for ninety minutes. Listen for the humor in the script delivered knowingly by such veteran Thespians as Andrew Prine and Stella Stevens, who is still gorgeous after all these years. While C. Thomas Howell is no longer the teen heart throb of yesterday (my daughter when a teen in the 80's had a huge, sexy photo of Howell draping her closet door), he is still a competent actor. The entire cast shines with no one actually taking his/her part too seriously.

The special effects are bargain basement, which used to be understandable when the producers were low on funds and special effects were so expensive. But today with computer-generated imagery (CGI) the viewer expects more, even from budget films. The giant ants look like cheap plastic models which is probably what they are.

The direction is not bad coming from one who moonlights as a wrestler with the moniker "Fabulous" Freddie Valentine. And the script, with lines such as,"She's found Charlie!" when the USDA lady stumbles on the bloody bones of a greenhouse worker, is often witty and clever. The camera work is at times dazzling, especially toward the end of the film when viewers are treated to a view of Lulu and Mila (Ana Alexander and Diana Kauffman respectively) shimmying across a wire exposing their thong-clad derrières.

The story is predictable and trite about mutant ants, puffed up by radiation, running amok in a high rise office building in beautiful downtown Burbank (or some such locale), hence the title,"The Glass Trap," terrorizing several intended victims trapped for various reasons inside on a Saturday. As with most "people trapped inside a building on Saturday" movies, each one has unfulfilled dreams and ambitions. There is always at least one who has a hidden past. This time it's the janitor, Curtis (C. Thomas Howell). Just as the humongous bloodthirsty ants attack, dripping formic acid all over the place, those desperately escaping up a shaft ladder to the roof pause for Curtis to explain to everyone why he has a rap sheet. Sorry, I won't give away that part of the movie.

to start this off i should say, that i thought "attack of the killer tomatoes" was the worst movie of all time, and it barely stood a chance with this movie. on a whim i rented this flick after seeing a preview at a local video store. didn't remember anything about ants from the preview but the box is very misleading about an experiment gone wrong...

a few poor saps who happen to be working the weekend are the victims or possibly the perpetrators, not only of the ants but of a horrible script, bad acting, and an even worse plot. to start off i like to pysch myself up by watching the preview(s) on the DVD. however, with the exception of a billy bob thorton trailer all were (straight to video) releases ill be missing. the cheese factor alone makes me think a DEJ PRODUCTION label is synonymous with CRAP! but i gave it a shot, sadly i wish i could get my 90 mins back but to no avail. to add insult to injury they didn't even offer English subtitles....Spanish ONLY...i mean come on.

FINAL THOUGHT: "DONT EVEN READ THE COVER"