Seven Mummies

Admitted, I love bad movies (eg. Evil alien conquerors) and horror movies, but this movie was however bad in a REALLY bad way. It made absolutely no sense what so ever, horrible lighting, disastrous camera work, acting, etc...

It seems the people writing the script thought of "cool" ideas for a 30 minutes movie and then just filled in the rest with meaningless nonsense. I cannot believe anybody would put their names on this kind of crap.

I could go on for pages about how horrible it was, but being the optimist I am, I will mention the only two good things about the movie: It was the first movie I have seen, containing Ninja-Priest-Mummies and it contained quite some large boobies. Besides that it absolutely sucked ass!

Do not watch this movie without serious masochistic tendencies!

Having just watched Ted Mikels' film "Apartheid Slave-Women's Justice", I was amazingly lenient when it came to viewing "Seven Mummies". That's because "Apartheid" and many of Mikels' other films are NOT on the IMDb Bottom 100 list--and should be. So, by comparison, "Seven Mummies" doesn't look THAT bad--but it still is bad.

The plot is the weird sort of concept that works best as a video game--sort of like "Red Dead Redemption Undead Nightmare". Seriously--which is the zombie western sequel to "Red Dead Redemption". It has plenty of shooting and violence and bloody gore, but as a film, it lacks plot and dialog--minor things that tend to make a movie worth watching! This movie begins in the present day with a group of prisoners escaping and heading into the desert. They wander into a strange western town--circa 1870. Now this SHOULD have been their first clue that this was NOT a town where they should stay. But, there are lots of hookers--and these sleazy men have been locked up for some time. So, they stick around for some fun--and in the middle of this, the townspeople become zombies of sorts--and the zombie prostitutes start tearing several of the prisoners apart. However, the townsfolk seem relatively easy to kill--and you don't even need a head shot! But, there are so many, they still don't seem to stand a chance. And, after a while, it all becomes more and more boring--as there is NO PLOT--just zombie/vampire/mummy folks trying to kill our anti-heroes. I say zombie/vampire/mummy because they eat flesh (so they must be zombies), they call each other vampires (ditto) and the film has mummy in the title (ditto). Whatever...all I know is that the film was, as I said, like watching a video game. Not much plot, terrible acting and dialog--I can see how it made the Bottom 100 list, but frankly it's not among the 100 worst films I've seen. Isn't it sad that there are MANY films worse than this?!

Having seen a lot of B movies, I can tell you that the idea of criminals on the run with a hostage encountering supernatural horror is not an original idea. But I wouldn't have minded seeing it again had this effort been well executed - which it isn't. It's a slow-moving story, and despite the slow pace the movie doesn't try to expand on the characters very much. In fact, I don't think you even learn the names of the prisoners! Movie also suffers from setting most of the movie in near-total darkness, which makes it hard to determine at times just what is going on. The rap and thrash metal songs on the soundtrack also seem out of place.

Oh, and if you are thinking of seeing this movie because you are either (or both) a fan of Danny Trejo or Billy Drago, be warned - Trejo just has basically one brief scene, and Drago's role isn't that much bigger.

Themovie opens with a horribly lame scene - two men in the desert, no town nearby, no horses, no provisions, and dragging a casket. Right! This is the opening to what becomes and even worse attempt at film making. Poor dialogue, poor story, unbelievable circumstance, and mediocre - at best - make up effects make this one big bomb of a stinker. Don't get me wrong, I'm a HUGE fan of horror and have been since near birth. Love low-budget films since they nearly all contain the raw, gritty edge that Hollywood films almost always lack. But 7 Mummies is not worth anyones time let alone the money they spent to make this. The direction is just plain bad with overly long cut scenes and poor angles that do no justice to the forced story line. Just a big bunch of YUCK!

Indeed a copycat as already was written. Makeup is nice, casting great, acting reasonable to good, but the movie itself is very boring. I like the genre but the music isn't very good, there is no climax building up and the story stretches along slowly. One of the few movies I had to use the FF function to get to at least a little bit of things happening, besides the no good dialogs. Furthermore, metal or hard-rock (whatever it's called) music is louder then spoken words which made me have to use the volume button more often. Loud music is no warranty for a climax and in this case it causes rather more of an anti-climax and irritation.

I suggest you pass this movie or when you're really a genre-lover, wait until you get it almost for free. No exciting and sitting on the edge of the couch in this one.

Still I gave this movie a 3 because of cast, acting, makeup and stuff.