The Defender

Dolph Lundgren's directorial debut almost put him in the same category as Orson Welles and Ed Wood, namely those who wrote, stared and directed their own movie. Dolph saved his word processing skills for the sophomore effort, namely the Mechanik.

The porn-named hero (Dolph) of this movie is Lance Rockford. In 1991, he commanded a unit in the Gulf War. After they were ambushed and captured, 2/3 of his unit are executed in front of him. By this I mean everyone except Dolph. I you haven't figured it out ... he only commands two men. This is a low budget straight to DVD (Seagal-like) movie. What did you expect ?

Fast forward back to the present where he is a secret service agent protecting some government secretary. He and his team are recruited/asked to protected this secretary on the way to some peace conference in Bucharest, Romania. She's not there for the conference though. She has a covert rendezvous with someone. While at this meeting, mercenaries are sent in to eliminate the secretary. What could possibly be going on ?? It's not as exciting as you would think. Actually, most of the movie is quite boring.

The scenario that ensues is part Assault of Precinct 13, part conspiracy, part Steven Segal and a whole lot of predictability. The sets are dark and poorly lit. I could barely make out anything. Don't even waste your time on this movie. You are lucky to be watching this movie on a Sunday afternoon in June on Spike TV or at 2 AM on Cinemax while you are inexplicably trying to stay awake.

There are some stand out moments. For example, Jerry Springer plays the cigar smoking, workout-while-I-talk-on-the-phone President of the United States. Yes this is not a typo. It is correct. Shakara Ledard is the other standout actor/actress in the movie. She is essential the eye candy, too bad she can't act. The other surprise is to find out that "the Dolph" was still alive and kicking. You wouldn't know that from his face though. He's looking very much like a tan Frank Langella's Skeletor (Masters of the Universe). I guess he must have borrowed the makeup. He also seems to have gotten acting advice from Steven Seagal. Steven has taught Dolph the proper way to shoot a gun. This movie also gives us the duel between Dolph's 9mm Beretta and a Sniper rifle. I bet you can't guess who wins ?

Dolph's return and directorial debut is atrocious and boring. I have heard better things about the Mechanik. Hopefully he has learned from this abomination. I was going to give this movie a 1 or 2, however, I have to give a little credit for filming and some production that occurred in Romania. Until my review of the Mechanik, I highly recommend seeing Red Scorption, Rocky IV, Universal Soldier, Masters of the Universe or Showdown in Little Tokyo for your Dolph fix.

Dolph Lundgren stars as Lance Rockford, a secret service agent who protects a politician from a terrorist group called "The Patriots" who see the President's view on terror as underwhelming to say the least. So Dolph is thrown into a fight where nothing is ever as it seems. I generally review these type of movies when I see them on TV because I generally don't see straight to video movies. For instance I reviewed Bridge Of Dragons because I saw it on HBO some night awhile ago and I happened to have my notes. I actually rented The Defender because I saw that it had Jerry Springer in it and the thought of him as the President of the United States had me curious to say the least. I was expecting a movie of magnitude ineptitude and was indeed surprised to see that Lundgren was a competent director and that the action sequences were fairly well staged and suspenseful. The story was (As expected) stupid and full of plot holes but I for one found this to be far better than I expected it to be.

* *1/2 out of 4-(Pretty good)

And the time has shown that the movies both directed and starred by Lundgren are usually better than those he just starred (with the exception of Rocky and The Expendables, however). The plots have more advised scenes are there are less stupid or unrealistic moments characteristic to all low-budget thrillers. And Lundgren just likes East, whether the Far one (South Asia), Middle one (Arab countries) or the closer one (so-called Eastern Europe)... Here, the action takes place mainly in Romania, with the strong links to the Arab peninsula. And several twists and turns - and definitely plenty of gunshots, explosions and dead bodies... And a political mess in the background.

Dolph Lundren is good as always, but it was a surprise to see Jerry Springer as the US president. And not bad at all! The other characters were not especially catchy.

Watch this 1'20" minutes creation if you like Lundgren, nothing to be ashamed about.

To be fair- I loved him in the Rocky 4 and Creed II. So from the early days until now. He was upgraded to B-Level actor! But I have to give this one a 2/10. Once you see Jerry Springer- 2 stars is all you get from me!

I must BREAK YOU!

I'd read somewhere that Dolph Lundgren got into directing a few years ago, when the next in a long line of straight-to-DVD cookie cutter action movies had its director get sick, so Ivan Drago himself just stepped in and took the reins. Then I forgot about the movie for four years.

I'm flipping channels today, and see the first two names in the credits: Dolph Lundgren ... and JERRY SPRINGER. I make a bet with myself to watch it until Springer shows up, and Springer is playing the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

With all this going for it, it should be one of the grandest movies of the 21st century. Except, no.

While not the worst movie I've ever seen, nor the worst action sequences I've ever seen, the action is still choppy, shot from entirely too close a range to see what's going on. The acting isn't terrible (except Dolph, though he's only required to stand there and look chiseled), but the plot is telegraphed in every scene. Every good guy that turns out later to be shady, acts shady the moment they come on screen. Every character who is going to die, the camera lingers on them long enough to give them extra footage for future demo reels. And Dolph's character is named "Lance Rockford." Seriously. I am not making this up.

Every action sequence is essentially the same, just a whole lot of bullet sound-effects and nothing interesting to look at or remember. There was some mumbo-jumbo at the beginning where Lance Rockford was a POW in his past, as if to explain that the character is damaged or something. It's completely unnecessary, as is about 45 minutes of the movie. By the time Lance Rockford is faced with a crucial moral dilemma, I honestly don't see how anyone watching it could care.

There are better places for your action fix, and better places for your Dolph fix. It's currently averaging around a 5.0 on IMDb, which is about right. It's by no means worth a theatrical release, but nor is it Uwe-Boll-quality, either. Guns fire, people shout a lot, and you'll find yourself getting bored when you're not studying the scars from Dolph's face-lifts. But hey, Jerry Springer plays the bad guy, so that's worth a bonus point.

5/10