The Helix... Loaded

God awful movie (if you can call it that) with terrible plot and terrible premise. Everything about it was bad - Horrible editing, music, acting, effects and plot line. I am surprised the filmmakers would even dare put out such a horrible film. I can't imagine anyone (besides the filmmakers and their friends) giving this a good review. Having been a huge fan of The Matrix films, I imagined at least one funny thing about this movie but I can't even think of one. Films such as Hot Shots and Scary Movie knew how to spoof films correctly. Don't bother to give any of these people any money's worth to this film. I could not resist the urge to warn viewers out there about a worse film. You'll kick yourself later.

This movie even tho it may have been low budget Guerilla Indie film, is one of the best matrix spoofs ever. Even if you hate the matrix or even if you love the matrix you will find The Helix... Loaded "Loaded" with good fun insightful commentary and a rollicking good time. I highly recommend this movie to anyone who wishes to be "Enlightened" The of characters is a unique ensemble with excellent performances by All... The visual FX by Ryan Carter of Hall of Shadows are particularly good for a low budget movie. Ryan took creative approaches to creating interesting Special Visual Effects on a low budget to new heights. Outstanding job!!! If you really need a good laugh and need something thats smart as well as funny you cant go wrong with The Helix Loaded!

Director A. Raven Cruz has managed to effectively make one long tribute to the creative talents of Phil Tucker (Robot Monster), Hal Warren (Manos, the Hand of Fate), and the ubiquitous Edward D. Wood.

Now Phil Tucker at least worked with Lenny Bruce, and did have a rudimentary knowledge of editing (how else could he have cut all that stock footage into his films). And Hall Warren at least had the common decency to stop making films, after his first one. And Ed Wood, well bless his pointed angora draped head, he was just too wacky to ignore. But one thing these guys all had in common, they tried to tell a story.

The Helix: Loaded is a vanity piece masquerading as a movie. Anyone that could look at this film and believe it deserves a "10" has been sitting in a closed garage with the engine running. "The Helix: Loaded" doesn't simply suck. It Swallows!

I loved the Matrix films and love good spoofs (AIRPLAINE, BLAZING SADDLES, SCARY MOVIE, etc.), but this movie was a huge disappointment. I saw it in an empty theater and fell asleep 3 times. The director seems to have never seen a good spoof in his life. I just mimics every scene from the MATRIX without adding anything original, much less, funny. The actors are so stiff and have such bad timing, it is like watching a high school improv class. The movie looks like it was shot on a handicam, but it has some relatively professional digital effects. However, a pretty bow and some wrapping paper can't make this stink bomb funny.

I give it a 10, tho it deserves 7. But I give 10/10 to balance the low score which movie did not deserved. It is a nice parody on the Matrix. A lot of really funny jokes there. There were few jokes which I laugh to tears and replayed them many times. I am very thankful that there some people did this funny movie.